How do you know you can afford a baby?

djdymond

Hi everyone

I have been broody for the last 2 years nearly and desperatly want to start trying for a baby. I am 26 next month, fiance is 27

we are moving into our first bought property, a flat with 2 bedrooms (part rent, part buy), next month as well as getting married.

the wedding is more or less paid for, except for the honeymoon in jersey for a week, and theyre just finishing our flat before we move in, and we needed about 5k to pay for fees etc. as you can see from my signature, we have over 7k saved for this, as well as 2k in our current account, and most of the bills and all the rent have already gone out.

we do have 5k of debt, 3k for a car at 95 pounds a month and a 2k credit card, currently paying off 50 quid a month which is the min, want to pay it off asap.

we have no furniture for the flat, but weve asked everyone for vouchers and money as wedding presents for this.

anyway...

my other half keeps saying lets get into our new flat first, wait a few months to see how we are financially, and then perhaps then we will start trying. we already have numerous spreadsheets and figures of how much everything is going to cost when we move into our new flat and i have worked out that after the bills and everything else (including money on food etc) we will have about 700 pounds left each month, which we already said we would save for when the baby arrives to help pay for bills while on maternity.

i dont want to leave trying to conceive until january, and i myself know theres no right time to have a baby, and that i would if i have to, go back to work once maternity leave is over. it might even take us 6 months to conceive anyway. plus another 9 till the baby is born so where talking about having a newborn (MAYBE) xmas 09! by this time, i would of had a christmas and summer bonus for the kitty, and my other half is sure to have a payrise, like me, in summer of next year.

i really do think there is no reason not to start.. my other half has repeatedly told me he is def ready to become a father and that the only thing that worries him is this loss of a wage and i realise that. but we will never be financially ready and things do always crop up, debt free or not. plus im 26 next month, and i obviously want more than one child. and as i said earlier, it could be i have problems conceiving or something. rather know now than become debt free and have saved up loads only to find out theres big problems!

me and my other half will have been together for 6 years come december

what do people think?

skylight

You will never be able to afford a baby. In an ideal world, we would be debt free and have loads saved up, but we don't.

You just manage. It would be prudent to ensure that you can cover the mortgage costs etc on one wage and that means dramatic cut backs (this was the biggest shock to us with baby no1 - no more Indian take-aways)

Whatever you do - do not work out your money with you going back to work. Sounds daft, but if you can cover all bases on one salary then you will have a choice, rather than be forced back.

You will also get some benefits - child benefit and child tax credit, although its not masses!

djdymond

hmm...

well thanks for the advice, but i really would have to go back to work me thinks. on one wage, we are 400 pounds short of paying all the outgoings. for my other half to be earning that much more, could be years and thats the prob! ive already waited for two, and if i wait for his earnings to go up that much after tax etc, it could be too late! hes only been in this job since feb time so he cant ask for more.

but then loads of people go back to work, its just one of those things isnt it? i think we could save up enough between now and having a child to perhaps have me at home till the baby is 2 years maybe? and after i have a second child i would def give up work altogether.

truth is were moving into somewhere with a big morgage in an area we only staying in so i can get to work. once ive given up work to have a child, were free to move out of the area and somewhere cheaper, which is another plan we have.....

debs2327

hi ya i know you have debts and obviously got a lot on between now and next year but i really do think if you and your partner would really love a baby and you`s both can give it loads of love ( and it sounds as if you can ) then i wouldnt put a price on having a baby at the end of the day it comes down to the fact 99% of people will make there budget stretch far enough for a family and sacrifice certain things you could do without to have the family they dream of

skylight

I worked through all the first 3 and gave up totally on no4. Was planning on going back in a few months, but now brewing no5.

You do manage - honest! Its not easy with one wage and its surprising on what and how you can cut back, but (I and many others I know) would have hated being forced back because of finances. At least I had a choice - I don't really now as childcare is unaffordable with so many and I do get a bit narked with it, but its my lifestyle choice.

Just get him really drunk one night and see what happens.......... Okay, not sooooo drunk he goes to sleep though (!hehehehehe!)

Eccle_2

As said before, I think if people waited till they were absolutely totally ready, no one would ever have kids. But I do also think there's some wisdom in your other half's suggestion of having a couple of months to settle into your new flat before trying. January isn't that far away and you've got a lot going on with the house move and the wedding, and that gives you a chance to make sure the finances you worked out are realistic once you're in the flat.

Do you know what maternity pay your work offers? Obviously it would be a help if they give more than the statutory minimum

avfcforever

Go for it, we have our first due in December! I have been worrying about Money, etc but at the end of the day, you can't put a price on the love you are going to give the baby! Of course you could be in a better situation, but you can think like that for the rest of your life until your numbers finally come up! ;-)

djdymond

well i asked at work what id get and they sent me this....

Basically, currently, you are entitled to up to 52 weeks maternity leave, split into ordinary maternity leave of 26 weeks and additional maternity leave of 26 weeks. You decide how much of this leave you want to take, and the web site explains the timings for the leave – apparently you can start your leave up to 15 weeks before the due birth date
Of these 52 weeks, 39 weeks qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay, leaving 13 weeks unpaid.

SMP is paid at a rate of 90% of your salary for the first 6 weeks and then a flat rate of £117.18 per week for 33 weeks (although of course this rate will increase yearly). Unfortunately these payments are still taxed

ITC have a duty of care towards you once you are confirmed as pregnant – time off for antenatal etc, which we can go over, once we get to that stage

Spendless

Personally I'd wait till Jan, you're not even 26 yet. It'll give you time to work out how are you financially once you've a place of your own. You can have a bit longer to pay off debts/save some cash for when the baby arrives and it gives you married alone time with your husband, something that is rare when you have kids and I speak as someone who was pregnant within a week of getting married. It's already September, so not that long to wait.

Eccle_2

djdymond wrote: »

well i asked at work what id get and they sent me this....

Basically, currently, you are entitled to up to 52 weeks maternity leave, split into ordinary maternity leave of 26 weeks and additional maternity leave of 26 weeks. You decide how much of this leave you want to take, and the web site explains the timings for the leave – apparently you can start your leave up to 15 weeks before the due birth date
Of these 52 weeks, 39 weeks qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay, leaving 13 weeks unpaid.

SMP is paid at a rate of 90% of your salary for the first 6 weeks and then a flat rate of £117.18 per week for 33 weeks (although of course this rate will increase yearly). Unfortunately these payments are still taxed

ITC have a duty of care towards you once you are confirmed as pregnant – time off for antenatal etc, which we can go over, once we get to that stage

That's the statutory. One thing they didn't mention to bear in mind on top of this is that you continue to accrue holiday whilst you're on maternity leave which you may want to use to either extend the total time you're off or have more time paid. That might help you a bit with your finances.

mbs1

iirc you dont get taxed on your maternity pay, my partner got £112 p/week in her bank, then child benefit is £18 p/week and for the first year Child tax credits is £21 p/week so a total of £150/week for the first year.