Christening advice please!

Mojisola

owsaboutthatthen wrote: »

It is merely about the fact of what he said with me and what he believes now.

I can see where you are coming from - but your ex may not have changed his beliefs. If his new partner is a practising catholic then it will be very important to her to have the children baptised and brought up within the church. In relationships we all have to make some compromises - if it was really important to her and he wasn't bothered, then it would be normal for him to let the child be baptised.

As the child is theirs, he may not have wanted to discuss their decision with you. It's unlikely that he has changed his mind about your children or he would have discussed it by now.

owsaboutthatthen

Mojisola wrote: »

I can see where you are coming from - but your ex may not have changed his beliefs. If his new partner is a practising catholic then it will be very important to her to have the children baptised and brought up within the church. In relationships we all have to make some compromises - if it was really important to her and he wasn't bothered, then it would be normal for him to let the child be baptised.

As the child is theirs, he may not have wanted to discuss their decision with you. It's unlikely that he has changed his mind about your children or he would have discussed it by now.

Let's hope that is the case!

onlyroz

You don't need to be Christened to be married in a church - my brother has just had a church wedding (not sure why he wanted one because he's not religeous at all) and he's never been christened.

I'm all for leaving the decision to the child when they're old enough to have an opinion for themselves. If your ex has changed his opinion for his new child (or has had his opinion changed for him by the child's mother) then that's up to him really, and shouldn't affect the original decision you made for your own children.

margaretclare

owsaboutthatthen wrote: »

Maybe because I don't know enough about being christened without going into depth and speaking to people, I'm not sure of what is expected of me and my ex as parents when we are non-believing. And the point about him and his new partner is that i'm wondering if he has become a believer and whether it is going to change his opinion on our children now. I haven't spoken to him about it and like I say as a single parent is it now my choice or do I still have to consult with him about their faith etc etc? Maybe an issue that feels important to me isn't so important. It is helpful to me however if your opinion can be expressed without feeling the need to criticise the possibility of me not having moved on because I have. It is merely about the fact of what he said with me and what he believes now. Hope you understand.

If you want to know what is involved in 'being christened' - baptised! - and don't know what would be expected of you, the best thing to do would be to contact the church where you think you may have this ceremony performed, and ask the person in charge, whether priest, vicar or minister. He or she would be delighted to put you right about whatever you're not sure about.

My DH was christened in a quiet ceremony here at home, just our minister and us here. We've been to many christenings in the Methodist Church where we worship, and we've also been to some lovely ones in other churches when away from home. It's a really happy, friendly, lively occasion. Our tradition is that all the church members present are asked to help the parents and godparents to carry out their duties, and the minister carries the baby around the church so that everyone can say 'hello'.

I'll never forget one christening we went to in the Midlands - it was at the local parish church across the street from where we were staying, and was part of the normal Sunday morning service (n.b. usually these days it's not separate but is part of the morning service). 2 babies were to be baptised, and one of them wore a 125-year old gown which countless babies in that family had worn before. A kettle of warm water was put into the font, and the little girl liked it - the little boy yelled though. We all said 'Typical boy - thinks he's being washed! And afterwards, a cup of coffee and a biscuit. Such a lovely friendly occasion.

funky-footprints

the vicar of the parish we married in, insists you have been christened and confirmed, he also insists that to be a godparent you are also christened. no one has ever complained about this as yet, but it is a very small community.

funky-footprints

margaretclare wrote: »

If you want to know what is involved in 'being christened' - baptised! - and don't know what would be expected of you, the best thing to do would be to contact the church where you think you may have this ceremony performed, and ask the person in charge, whether priest, vicar or minister. He or she would be delighted to put you right about whatever you're not sure about.

My DH was christened in a quiet ceremony here at home, just our minister and us here. We've been to many christenings in the Methodist Church where we worship, and we've also been to some lovely ones in other churches when away from home. It's a really happy, friendly, lively occasion. Our tradition is that all the church members present are asked to help the parents and godparents to carry out their duties, and the minister carries the baby around the church so that everyone can say 'hello'.

I'll never forget one christening we went to in the Midlands - it was at the local parish church across the street from where we were staying, and was part of the normal Sunday morning service (n.b. usually these days it's not separate but is part of the morning service). 2 babies were to be baptised, and one of them wore a 125-year old gown which countless babies in that family had worn before. A kettle of warm water was put into the font, and the little girl liked it - the little boy yelled though. We all said 'Typical boy - thinks he's being washed! And afterwards, a cup of coffee and a biscuit. Such a lovely friendly occasion.

my 3 children were christened in the family christening gown made by my great grandmother for her children, (my nan and her 2 brothers) my dad and his 3 brothers wore it, and now my 3 along with many of my first cousins and thier children have worn it.

owsaboutthatthen

Thanks for your opinions so far....I have been to christenings before but I was much younger and naive and didn't really know the true meaning of what being baptised meant and it was all just an occasion to drink and be merry I suppose! I have briefly spoken to my partner today and it has been confirmed that he is still of the same opinion about our children and she is religious, not sure what faith she follows but that is nothing to do with me. I feel better for chatting about it. I thought he'd completely changed his outlook on everything.

owsaboutthatthen

And just to say I hope nobody finds me ignorant about religion or anything as I know religion and politics can be touchy subjects with some, but sometimes it is good to talk, regardless of what the topic!

Paparika

I'm not christened but it doesn't bother me as i am an atheist. Some see that as i will be dammed to hell and not be allowed to be buried on consecrated ground, by the time i leave this mortal earth i don't think i would care tbh.

it's all about the faith you follow etc.

A friend had her baby christened and for the life of me i don't know why as although they got married in the church that was probably the only time (apart from the token ones to get married) they will ever step in a church

Savvy_Sue

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