Any advise on gay marriage? Help please.

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
20 replies 1.5K views
x_raphael_xxx_raphael_xx Forumite
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edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
Me and my girlfriend have decided to get engaged and we'd like a little info on the actual wedding ceremony.

She would like a church wedding but is this possible? Will they only do a 'marriage blessing' or will we need to go to a registry office to complete the official paperwork?
I've had a look on the web and all I can find is that same-sex couples can enter a civil partnership with gives the same rights as married couples.
So is this the same thing or not? :confused: Help please :)
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  • I would suggest contacting your local church and asking!

    All the best

    MM
  • I would imagine it would depend on the church, whether they were willing to perform a ceremony or do the blessing etc.

    Do you attend a church regularly, or know anyone who does? You might be able to ask around and get a feel for different churches and their attitudes towards civil partnerships - I believe some are still fairly uneasy about the idea.

    I have a feeling that if you live within a church's parish, they have a duty to marry you, but I don't know if it applies to gay weddings since the leglisation is so recent. I do know that some churches like you to attend service for some weeks prior to the wedding.

    Other than that, have you thought about getting married in a different venue? It doesn't have to be a nice church or a boring registry office, there are a lot of stately homes, national trust properties, hotels etc (grand or not!) which have wedding licences, so you can have a nice/elegant venue without the religious aspect if that appeals to you.

    Congratulations by the way :)
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  • Gingham_RibbonGingham_Ribbon Forumite
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    I have a feeling that if you live within a church's parish, they have a duty to marry you, but I don't know if it applies to gay weddings since the leglisation is so recent.
    Churches don't have an obligation to marry you, but hopefully you'll find one who can give you what you are looking for.

    Congratulations!
    May all your dots fall silently to the ground.
  • honeypophoneypop Forumite
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    The confetti website have a section of info on civil partnerships, apparently it must be performed in a register office or other approved venue (like any civil ceremony), doesn't mention being able to have it in a church though.

    http://www.confetti.co.uk/article/view/6067-7559-0-Arranging_your_civil_partnership_registration_Wedding_planning.do

    Also says (after reading a bit more) "As civil partnership registration is a completely secular process, just like the civil marriage ceremony, you are prevented from having any religious service take place at the time of your registration."
  • beer_tinsbeer_tins Forumite
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    If it's a Catholic church I'm sure they'll tell you you're going to hell :eek:

    However, I'm sure you can find a vicar willing to marry (i.e. "bless") you, just be prepared to phone around a fair few!

    Or could you try asking a gay forum? I'm sure you're not the only ones trying to do this...
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  • davetrousersdavetrousers Forumite
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    But aren't same sex relationships a sin according to religious [STRIKE]rantings[/STRIKE] teachings?
    .....

  • GladGlad Forumite, Board Guide
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  • Hi,
    my brother and his boyfriend are getting married and wanted a church wedding, but all the churches in our area would not marry them, so they have opted for a civil ceremony in a local hotel, but again we had to ring around as a few of them would not allow them to marry there.
  • MsChazzerMsChazzer Forumite
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    I may be wrong but I suspect only a civil partnership is legally recognised, the church one would be seen as a blessing rather than an official ceremony. I spoke to someone a while back who told me that the Quakers wanted to be able to conduct civil partnerships but couldn't as they were a religion. This is in Scotland though.

    Found this: http://www.pinkweddingdays.co.uk/details/ceremony_info.aspx
    Also, according to recent news reports about the wedding of two priests in a C of E church, this was not a legally recognised marriage although it is known that some vicars/ministers will conduct blessing ceremonies.
    Got married 23rd May 2009, many thanks to all on the Weddings and Anniversaries board for their help and support!
  • HoraceHorace Forumite
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    You are not allowed to have a religious ceremony in a church but can, with permission have a blessing.

    If you look on the Stonewall site then you will most probably find a link to a reverend from the free independent christian church who will be able to perform a blessing. I will see what I can find in my notebook because I am sure that I wrote things down as this is useful for me.

    Will post details on here.

    This guide will help:

    https://www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/get_hitched_a_guide_to_civil_partnership_english.pdf
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