Advice - 2 and a half year old still not speaking

lexilex

Not sure if this is in the appropriate board so mods please feel free to move.

We're a bit worried about my two and a half year old cousin. Although it is clear he understands things been said to him, he does not speak, at all! Infact, we've never even heard him say 'mummy' or 'daddy'. The thing is, his mum and dad don't seem worried about it. He has actually got an older brother who learned to speak at what we consider to be a 'normal' age so we were expecting him if anything to be a bit more faster at picking things up.

My mum, grandma and myself are all a bit concerned, but my cousins parents are very sensitive and we know for a fact that they would be insulted if we said anything about it to them. If something is going to be said it needs to come from an 'outsider'. Things have been said before which have ended up in my family not speaking for months on end.

He will be starting nursury next year and we think if it's still a problem then it should get picked up but this is a year away, and that's going to mean he has a lot to catch up on.

What do you think? Is this normal? I don't have children of my own so don't know myself and my mum's last experience of having children was with my younger sister, nearly 20 years ago. What can we do? Are there any special toys or anything like that we could maybe get to help 'subtlety'.

whatatwit

If he has an elder brother and parents who respond to whatever sound he makes when he does want something, then there is no need for him to speak as in effect they cater to his every need.

I don't know of an easy way round this, could you maybe take both of them out, to a park or something and see if he will speak outside of the home.
It is quite possible that he is perfectly able to speak but has no need.

But, there is also a possibility that he may need help and really the sooner the better. I don't know what developmental checks are carried out by health visitors nowadays, maybe you could try contacting a health visitor at the doctors surgery.

longforthesun

HI lots of people will say not to worry he is onlt 2 and a half but my DS was the exact same he never even babled as a baby. He understood everything that was being said to him. I spoke to my HV and she was great he has had a whole bunch of developmental tests (this was to find out if there was any underlying issues that could be affecting his speach) the results show there is an issue with speach but nothing contributing to this ie autism or loss of hearing. He started nursery when he was 3 and has come on fantastic with his speach he also gets lots of speach therapy and this has helped. I have been told by my speach therapsit that in the past they would not even look at a child until they were three but this is changing and they beleive now that the sooner you can start a child on speach therapy the better. The problem you have i suppose is talking to his parents about it. If his nursery are doing their job right they should pick up on it.

floss2

How much older is his brother? The reason I am asking is that my younger son didn't really need to speak for himself until his elder brother went to nursery, as DS1 always spoke for DS2: "xxx wants a biscuit", "xxx wants to go to sleep" etc.

DS2 didn't say a great deal until he was on his own at home....maybe he doesn't need to speak so much because he doesn't have to ask for what he wants? Especially if his parents are "sensitive" and are on hand, providing everything a child could need/want?

Buttercup.x

My daughter has the same problem she is 4 now (5 in april) and she was talking but it was like mumbo jumbo she now has speech therapy lessons and her speech is coming along, however with your Cousin not speaking at all i wouldn't worry to much atm try seeing your GP for advise,
I am doing a scheme called Jolly Phonics with her (they start to teach it in reception class) but we have given her a head start.

x

thrifty_sue

Have they had the childs hearing tested? Sometimes that be an underlying reason for not speaking.
Are there any difficulties at home such as stress in the family that may impact on the child failure to communicate? Some children are mute because of this.

Does the child point, wave or look at what they want? These are all forms of communication that precede and comlement verbal communication.

dangers

I'll agree with thrifty-sue. My youngest didn't speak until quite late. I wasn't overly concerned because my first had also beeen slow in speaking. However, we had a hearing test carried out on him (I nearly didn't take him as I was sure there was nothing wrong with his hearing!!!) and it transpired he had 'glue ear'. Since then, we have had to ensure that he is aware that we are talking to him. He is just going into Year 3 now and his speech is fine, although his reading level could be a bit better - due to having a lot of problems hearing when he was in reception.

sammyjig

My youngest didn't speak until she was nearly 3 and then no-one could understand her. I was referd by her nursery to a speach therapist. We went once and I was told that some children don't babble when they are babies but just listen to everyone, especially if they have older siblings. When she started talking it wasn't in single words but she attempted whole sentences at once which she really couldn't manage. The speach therapist sent a report to her nursery and when she started school they were asked to monitor her. She is 7 now and doesn't shut up!! lol

Anyway, my point is that if there is concern maybe he should see a doctor for a hearing test/ speach therapist referal just to set minds at rest.

It may be nothing at all.

Savvy_Sue

In view of the family sensitivities, I am not sure there is anything you or other family members can do.

Presumably the child is having his normal developmental checks. I don't know at what ages these are carried out, but they should pick up hearing loss and the parents would be asked about speech. Does he go to playgroup or a toddler group?

The other possibility is that the parents are aware of a problem, but don't want to share it with the rest of the family, either until more is known or they know how to tell you.

milliebear00001

If he clearly understands what's being said to him, then that's a huge indication that all is well.
Many children speak later - my own daughter only had few words by two and a half, but is now very articulate and fluent (at four and a half). It may be that he speaks far more at home than he dos with people outside his immediate family, and he will have had a developmental check by health visitors at about 2 years of age where anything untoward should have been picked up on. As you say, nursery will be a big step and the staff there will very quickly ascertain if there's anything to worry about. I suspect there won't be.

debs66_2

no offence, but i'd leave well alone.

he's their child and there is no 'normal'. he will probably go to nursery and be talking by the end of the first week. if he doesn't, a nursery teacher will pick up on it and discuss it with the people who matter and whose business it is - the parents.