Please help me - desperately need to lose *alot* of weight to have more IVF

drowningnotwaving_2

Hi guys, I don't know whether anyone can help me but I'm really desperate for some advice .

To cut a long story short, I was a healthy slim teenager/young adult, but piled on a lot of weight in my mid-20s due to depression. I was overweight for eight years as every diet I started I failed miserably at as, despite my depression lifting, I was still a dreadful comfort eater.

At the age of 33 I was told I needed to lose weight to conceive and I finally discovered Lighter Life - an abstinence diet which means you're on shakes and bars and don't think about food. I successfully lost 6 stone and reduced my BMI from 36 to 25. I kept the weight off for two years and in that time I had 3 cycles of IVF, the first two ended in m/c, the third I had a beautiful son who was born 10 weeks ago.

Unfortunately, I still haven't addressed my comfort eating . During the pg and since his birth I have now put on so much weight I'm back to a BMI of 35. I desperately need to lose this weight as I want to start IVF again next Spring/Summer (I'll be 37 in June). I started WW a couple of weeks ago but as usual that was a disaster, so I reluctantly went back on LL last week. However, this time round I'm really struggling to stick to it and fell off the wagon today while my dh was out.

Now I don't know what to do. LL was the only thing that worked for me. Staying fat isn't an option because I have to have IVF and having a sibling means so much to me (although clearly not enough to stop comfort eating ). So what do I do?

I have just been researching hypnotherapy and wondered if this is something that will help me stop my comfort eating for good .

Has anyone else got any suggestions? Please don't just tell me to eat less - if it was that easy I wouldn't be here .

belfastgirl23

First to say congrats on your DS

Second I think you should view weightloss as an all out war which you need to hit on as many fronts as possible. I think hypnotherapy is worth a go personally. I used it for fear of flying and I think it did really help. three sessions cost I think £250 or thereabouts. I also used Paul McKenna's cd for a bit (am a bit of a comfort eater myself) and I also think it helped.

But I also think you need more strategies. You need to stop having comfort food in the house and stop going into any places you associate with comfort eating (I haven't set foot in one particular local coffee shop for months cos their flapjacks are addictive).

You also need to make a point of getting some exercise. I'd recommend walking for 30 mins a day. During this time you need to think about your weightloss, how much you want to lose, how long it will take and what your goals are. Visualise yourself holding your baby and focus on that. It's like a kind of meditation really. Trust me, it does help.

Sorry if I'm sounding kind of bossy and prescriptive. I find that to lose weight (and I'm currently about 12st which is a lot if you're 5.2) I have to really focus on the fact that this is what I'm doing. this time around (cos I too have lost and gained before ) I'm trying to focus very hard on healthy eating - wholegrains, nuts, seeds, fruit etc. I have decided I am NOT drinking (with small exceptions for genuine celebrations) and NOT eating chocolate since this is a trigger food for me. I'm also only eating cheese as part of a meal, not as a snack since again I could work my way through a block of cheese no bother. Somehow when you take them out of the equation it makes it easier, you don't have to consider whether you want cheese every time you go to the fridge. I also gave up tea because I was inclined to snack with tea. I'd advise having a good look at what your trigger foods are and think about just getting rid altogether...

Anyway don't know if it will help, this is what works for me. Half a stone down in a month which considering I'm not going hungry I'm pretty pleased about.

And don't spend too long beating yourself up about putting it all on again - believe me you aren't alone on that one...

Good luck

Pennylane

Congrats on your 10 week son - you must be very busy right now! Enjoy this lovely stage :j and try not to worry too much about your weight.

What about Slimming World? Healthy way of eating & losing weight.;)
Get baby out in his pram and do loads of walking - I took mine out every day whatever the weather and we all loved it.
There's a good book by Allen Carr "Easyweigh to lose weight" (see ebay)
Belfastgirl gave some GREAT advice - don't even buy comfort foods - tell yourself it's YOUR choice and you don't need them - tell hubby too and then there's no excuse to bring them through your doors at all!!

Best wishes.

glitterycloud

Hi, i am overwieght by about 4-5 stone and will be looking to start a family in the next few years im 28. I have lost weight in the past in my early 20's with WW but due to depression and comfort eating i have put it all back on and a bit more. I am starting ww again this week but i am not telling anyone as the pressure gets to me and i usually fail. My husband isnt very supporting with healthy eating as he is stick thin and does'nt "get" me, i plan not to have bad food in the house and take some exercise on my own, he loves me what ever, which still doesnt help lol
(hubby did use to work out with me but now is too lazy to bother)
The difficult part is sticking to it but i dont want to be fat any more. I am determined to be selfish for a while and just do things for me, if i dont i will always look like this and worse if i have children without loosing the weight.
Good luck and you know if you take it day by day rather than stone by stone it will be much easier, say to yourself today its going to be like this.........
you will have a sense of achievement at the end of the day to help you with the next day ( i am going to take this advice for myself too!!!)

Alexandria

Have a look for Marissa Peer's book/cd on Amazon etc its called You can be thin. It has some fantstic reviews so I have just ordered it myself. It seems to use NLP language and I know just how powerful that can be so looking to give it a go.

belfastgirl23

The other thing I meant to add is that thinking about the big picture (ie I have 4 stone to lose) is often unproductive since the task can seem so overwhelming that you give up before you start. Focus on the fact that every lb lost makes things better. I know for myself that's easy because I have dodgy knees and ankles and can literally feel the difference with every lb - half a stone means I am walking A LOT more comfortably than I was. And my clothes are fitting a lot better.....

How are you feeling about things anyway OP?

Saint_Chris

congratulations on your baby son

i've tried all sorts of diets, and all the daft ones.

i have to say that the best one for me is the cambridge diet, i just love it.

1st few days are hard, but after that, hey presto it's weight loss all the way

the hard part then is maintaining the loss

but only you can do that,

npsmama

(((HUGS)))

you've been through so much!

I'm also a comfort eater who battles with depression and had 2 miscarriages. I haven't had any experience of IVF but have seen friends go through it and the stress seems huge.
You've lost an amazing amount of weight in the past - I wouldn't have lasted a week on a shake diet!!

I say I am a comfort eater and in depression bc for me these are long-term issues.

The thing that works for me is to follow the Slimming World plan. I go to group with my baby every week and although I still lapse I find it great. My group is very supportive and I love food and eating so it's a great plan for me. WW is too much faff for me, I don't want to have to count points all day.
I do need to lose weight but I try to look at Slimming World as healthy eating rather than weightloss.
I truly enjoy it and would recommend it. I think it's worth going to group each week - and I'm not a group/club person but it really does help a lot.

PM me if you need a chat. :-)

drowningnotwaving_2

Thank you all so much for your congratulations, your support and your advice. I was really touched.

Belfastgirl, I didn't think you were being bossy at all, and you've given me some really good tips which I have made a note of.

Pennylane, I have tried SW before without success - I just eat too much! Good luck with your weight loss though.

glitterycloud, good luck with the WW. I really would advise you to try and lose as much as possible before you try for a family - not only is it harder to get pg when you're overweight it's also a hell of a strain on your body. Best wishes with it.

Alexandria, that book looks amazing - I've ordered it. Even if I continue to lose weight with Lighter Life I still need help with kicking the habit of eating too much and bread and chocolate are two of my major trigger foods. If I can give up those then life would be much easier. Hope it works for you too.

Saint Chris - LL is the same as CD. I've tried the Cambridge Diet (I really have tried everything!) and it didn't work for me, but I know what you mean about keeping the weight off.

npsmama - thank you for your support.

I'm feeling a little better today. After I posted I had a very long chat with dh. He really wants me to continue with the LL as he knows how hard I find it to stick to any other diet - we've been together 15 years and he has seen me at all weights. I think part of the problem is that he always tells me he loves me no matter what - so I don't have that pressure to worry about. That sounds daft I know, but maybe if I knew it was an issue for him it would give me more incentive to be slim. However, he does remember how happy I was at my goal weight and he also wants us to be good role models for our little boy so he's going to do all he can to help me.

So, I'm sticking with LL for a while longer, but with loads of back up plans thanks to all you lovely people.

Thank you again.

Birdie85

Hi, I don't know what your thoughts on Low Carb are but it's a good diet for those who like to eat 'real' food rather than rabbit food and still lose stacks of weight.I'd recommend 'Neris and India's Idiot Proof Diet', the first half of the book is like a self-help book, focusing on why you over eat and how to treat yourself in other ways than cakes when you feel you deserve it! Even if you decide that the diet isn't for you, the book is a good read as it helps you to come to terms with your relationship with food. It was written by two women who were overweight and lost 10st between them so they know what they're talking about!For now, enjoy your DS and I hope you lose the weight you need to lose, however you do it!

Alexandria

My Marisa Peers book/cd arrived today so looks like we will be doing this together then! Am quite excited about it and intend to spend tonight relaxing in bed having a good read of it! Fingers crossed for both of us.