New Baby Present - Advice needed

Fidget21

Hi folks

I'm hoping you can give me some advice. My best friend has just had a baby (Yay!) however he was 6 weeks early and is now in the SCBU for the next 4-6 weeks.

Now, I'm not very good at this baby malarky and she knows it, but I don't want her to get the wrong impression of how I feel as her emotions are all a bit up in the air at the mo. So, do I go all out Flowers, pressie, card as I was originally planning to, or do I hold off until she can actually bring the little fella home and maybe just send her some flowers for now?

I'm sure there's somebody out there who has either been in this situation from either my side of the fence or from the new mum's side and I would just appreciate your advice on how to approach it.

Thanks

Fidgster

Loopy_Girl

Personally (and I am very lucky my baby was born at full term), I would want a gesture to acknowledge the baby's arrival and to let me know you were thinking of me and then a proper fuss with the balloons and stuff when he gets out of hospital.

I really hope your friend's baby is okay. 6 weeks, although early, isn't too bad hopefully x

morganb

How about flowers and a small gift for baby now, something little that could maybe go in his cot, and then bigger welcome home present when he comes home?

I think a lot of people would probably be holding off right now, so I think it would be nice if you celebrated his arrival, albeit an early one.

Colin2511

When my nephew was born very prem, I just got a little teddy to sit on the windowsill with a card, they cannot have very much in hospital, but a little teddy is fine...I also took some photos with my digital camera, as they did not have one, - perhaps you could get a couple framed for her?

or how about getting your friend something, like some nice bath smellies?,, as she will be feeling down, - having had 3 kids full term, I cannot imagine what it is like to come home from hospital without my baby

Fidget21

I cannot imagine what it is like to come home from hospital without my baby

This is the bit I am worried about. I don't want to go to OTT if she is feeling really down because he isn't with her, but I don't want her to think we're not interested because he isn't with her. When I spoke to her OH last night he said she had to come home because they put her in a ward with 3 other new mums who all had their babies with them, not only did she feel awful but she was getting some funny looks too. I think it must be really hard because as a first time mum I'm sure this is not the way you would imagine things when you have your baby.

Thanks to you all for your replies. I think I will send a lovely bright bunch of flowers today and get something for her and then get something for the baby when he comes home. I hadn't thought of bath smellies, but it's a great idea. My mum always used to do that because she said when you come home with a new baby everything revolves around the baby and people kind of forget you as a person so it's nice to get a present that says 'well done for all your hard work, here's something to help pick you up!'

angelfairy

hi fidget,

you may have already decided what to do, but i was in Mamas and Papas yesterday and they had some lovely small barnaby bears on sale, very reasonable in price too. it's just something small that mum can hold onto while she visits baby in SCBU.

when he comes homes, have you looked at the nappy cakes. some ladies on the special occasions boards make their own and tell you how or you can buy them from ebay.

i hope your friend and baby continue to go from strength to strength

Becles

What about a hamper for Mum?

She's going to be backwards and forwards from hospital which is stressful. I know from having a 2 year old who had to stay in with pneumonia that I barely had time to eat and stuff, so I can imagine what it must be like with a tiny baby.

Find out if she has access to cooking facilities like a kettle and a microwave first, and make up a hamper with things like instant drinks, juice cartons or cans of pop, those soup/casserole pots you can microwave, snacks, things to do like puzzle books, fiction books and magazines for when baby is sleeping, and toiletries so she can freshen up.

Hope baby makes a full recovery and is home soon so you spoil him too.

Fidget21

What about a hamper for Mum?

Thanks. I was actually thinking about a hamper for dad. He sounded pretty fraught last night. Think it has all been a bit much for him!!

Becles

aww poor Dad!

Are you good at cooking? You could make casseroles, lasagnes etc., so they can put them in their freezer and warm them up when necessary to save cooking.

LilMissEmmylou

DD was born 4 weeks early - one thing i needed and really appreciated was tiny socks! So if you can find nice small socks to keep the babies feet warm that would be a rather sweet and thoughtful gift in my books Everything else you have in mind sounds great too x

Katyag

My son wasnt early but was in the neo natal unit in an incubator. He couldnt have anything in it with him, when he was taken down he had a teddy in his cot but it was handed back to me as it wasnt allowed.

I was also on a ward with other mums and their new babies and it feels awful, any time not spent with my son was spent in bed, curtains drawn crying at the sounds of the other babies. I told no one to visit me (apart from DH of course) as i was back and fore to the unit and couldnt face people.

Yes i would send a card and acknowledge his arrival, hormones are everywher but its nice to know people are thinking of you. I luckily got to stay in hospital while he was in so didnt have to go home without him.

But if your friend is home without baby id send her flowers as a gift to her, so many people forget the mum completely and are only interested in baby. Add to the card you are thinking of her and if she needs anything then dont hesitate to call you. Add that you are looking forward to meeting the wee man and giving him his gift. That way she knows you have something for him and are being positive and caring.

Hope they are both doing well and he gets home soon.