Really desperate for advice can someone help??

Keeping_Motivated

Oh you poor thing, drugs cause so much pain not just to the person taking them but to the entire family and its completely heartbreaking and devastating. Hugs to you. xx

Don't kow what your relationship is like with your daughter but could you have a frank discussion with her saying you are terrified she will be busted not only for her but the children too so will she agree to let the SS and the police know that the children have a home with you?

Also I am sure this is already obvious but do not give her money. If you feel guilty because of the children then make sure you buy food parcels but never cash for food, but I am probably telling you stuff you already sadly know.

Take care
KM x

mookiandco

I deal with these sort of cases regularly and it is very likeky that the children will be removed under an emergency protection order by police. The local authority can then apply for a Care Order. Even if the children are eventually allowed to stay with you, have you considered how traumatic it will be for them being taken by police or social services in the first place.

If you do not take action the local authority may decide that you have failed to stand up to your daughter and protect the children and they make think twice about placing them with you.

I know you have divided loyalties due to this being your daughter but please consider the children. If social services wont take action then go to the police. Dont wait until something awful happens. Alternatively ask your daughter if you can have the children for a few days, consult solicitors and apply for interim residence. The court will get social services involved due to the nature of the allegations and may award you interim residence whilst matters are being resolved. Please do the rright thing by your grandchildren. It may also be the push your daughter needs to get her life sorted out.

needtobedebtfree_4

thanks to everyone who has replied. eldest child knows something is going on and is also worried , knows our address and phone number. I know that they will come to me most probably rather than be fostered, its just will the policie take them to social services first and then they will contact me or would police let mum ring me to come and get them. I just would hate for some strangers to come and cart them off they would be so frightened. I will find it extremely difficult financially to have them but obviously i would still have them without a doubt, they stay with me at weekends at the moment and I work full time so its hard weekdays plus she has a hold over us while she has the children, regarding money for food, clothes, electricity, gas. " the kids are freezing can you put £20 gas on for me" its very hard to say no let them freeze. not the case at the minute due to her "extra income" and the weather not bad at hte minute but has been said to us many times.

leanneq

Hi
I work in the police so can advise to the best of my knowledge!
If they raided her house then we would be obliged to take a Police Protection order out on the children, which lasts for 3 days. Assuming your daughter is allowed home, this would expire after the children are returned anyway.
When the order is taken out, it is normal procedure to place the children with a suitable family member anyway. Taking them into care is last resort. You don't mention if your daughter was married to their father as he would presumably have parental responsibility ( but none whatsoever if not married and the children born before December 2003).
It does happen that your daughter is asked who she wants to have thechildren and the paperwork for the order not completed but really it should be.
I hope that makes sense

leanneq

Sorry forgot to say
If your daughter is kept in custody and the 3 days expires this is when Social Services will make a decision about what to do. They do try and keep children within the family and in care is last resort as I said. The father will obviously need to be involved in this despite his background.

needtobedebtfree_4

thankyou again everyone. I think mookeandco and leanneq are probably right. I just have to do the right thing. No point in talking to daughter as I am sure most will be aware drug users/dealers are not interested in rational talking just manipulation/lying and whatever other means regardless of who they hurt they inevitably only think of themselves as our family has found out to our cost and has ripped whole family apart.

thank you everyone

Pssst

I understand your dilemma. you have divided loyalities. You feel bad about interfering in your daughters life and yet feel some responsibility for her and your grand children. Ultimately yes,she is engaging in criminal activity for which she can be prosecuted. Also ,if she is a tenant of a housing association or local authority,she will be in breach of her tenancy agreement which will have other implications.

Thats the criminal side of the issue.

Social services? Times have changed. It cannot be assumed that because you tell SS,they will have a sharp intake of breath,take charge,pass the kids to you for their own good etc etc..

In effect,they may well take the view that taking drugs is your daughters "lifestyle choice". Yes i know,but its the modern way..!

Ultimately it IS her choice and she must live with it. I suspect the SS will only intervene if there is convincing evidence to suggest that the situation is dangerous or damaging to the welfare of the children. The Police are there to detect and prosecute crime,which hopefully they will.

gizmo111

Seems to me these children are on the edge of care, and at the very least childen in need, if not a child protection issue, the LA has a duty to work with this family to safeguard the childen and promote their welfare.
Have the school (s) got any concerns?
An additional referal to the local Duty from them as well as from yourself would be helpful in getting SS involvement.

Paparika

knowsleyroader wrote: »

Don't wait for the police to put the door in and have the children witness it and have all that trauma caused to them. Go to your local police station and tell them what she is doing (although I bet they already probably know) and ask them to let you know what day they are going to put the door in and make sure you have taken the children out of the house on that day.

Yes i was thinking the same, shop your daughter, she obviously has a problem and perhaps this shock and possible prison spell with snap her out of it.

seven-day-weekend

No. The children are NOT always better with the parents.

I know this is the current thought, but No. It is wrong.

Many years ago, when I worked in an infants school, I saw parents who lay in bed all morning and expected a six-year-old to get up and get breakfast for themselves and their siblings, then go to school. They would be kept off school if the mother wanted them to go shopping, or babysit a younger sibling, or they hadn't got any clothes. Parents would come into the school and hurl abuse and foul language if there was a training day and they had to have the children at home. Some of the children had nothing to eat. Better with the parents, my foot, they don't deserve to have children.

Anyway, rant over.

To the OP, what a horrible situation,. I would try to get the children living with you now if you can, this has got to be better than waiting for the police to take them away.

Hope you find a solution xx.