Depression Support Thread

absolutebounder

Amber_Sunshine wrote: »

Some weeks you really shouldn't get out of bed ... last night I took something out of my bag, which was on the floor underneath the window, then stood up, forgetting that Spanish windows open inwards ... it was only a tiny cut on my scalp, but I looked like Sissy Spacek in Carrie, with blood pouring down my face ... anyway, it soon stopped, but as I came out of the bathroom, I trod on the cat ...

I bet the cat regretted getting out of bed too:D

Amber_Sunshine

Yeah, considering she spends 99% of the day sleeping, she picked the wrong 5 minutes to get up ...

Amber_Sunshine

Please, someone remind me to remove the plaster before I leave the house ...

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,I am fine today Not doing much as my kitchen window is being done

Have a lovely day

*hugs* to those that need one

love and light,

Katie xxx

ilovegreatdanes

Amber_Sunshine wrote: »

Please, someone remind me to remove the plaster before I leave the house ...

you may start a new trend fashionwise:D

slowlyfading

absolutebounder wrote: »

I saw this just before other thread closed and am saddened that a beautiful and tallented girl such as you is in self destruct mode.
You cant change your mood until you change your reality of the world. You have said you dont like the way you look. Then you cut yourself. Do you think that makes you look better ?because I bet you dont. So why do something that makes you look worse?

I normally do it in a place where no one sees, but you're right - it doesn't make me look any better.

I am wondering who you look up to since your self esteem is low. I am guessing either your parents are rather dominant or there is someone else in or near your family that you are being told is better than you and you are struggling to compete. I may be wrong but I thought you had passed your degree which should make you pleased since a degree is something way beyond most people and now you should be looking forward to mixing with other people your own age in the workplace.

Both parents are very successful and clever, my two cousins are also extremely clever - both got 9 A*'s at GCSE and 5 A's at A Level, and then First for their degrees. Now both of them are now in well paid jobs.

When you were born you had self esteem (a baby never doubts his sense of value) but then life happens and children get hurt, ignored talkled down to etc which shakes their natural foundations. At this time we are too young to have the knowledge to deal with the problem so we come up with plan B - stories we tell ourselves about why we are worthwhile. this is what we call the EGO. These stories are not us Ironically it is these stories that keep us from our own personal power. This ego feeds off other peoples responses. If they pay attention to you it feels good but if they ignore or criticise you the ego panics and now thet it is threatened it will do whatever it can to get back to the status quo even if that means sabotaging positive change.
The ego creates a starange pseudo confidence that only works in tightly managed circumstances. Outside of that we tend to lose confidence like when we try something new and feel afraid of failing.
One reason we have this fear is cognitive dissonance. We have a mental image of how we want to be perceived which we project to the outside world. this is the perfect person most of us think we should be. But inside we dont feel like that. So inside we have a battle between who who we try to make others think we are and what we think we really are. The larger that gap, the more psychic pain we feel in trying to perform.

Never really thought about it like that before...

If you want to stop S#H you have to go to the person you really are and be proud of that person and what you have achieved then you can go forward and acheive more whilst ignoring people who at the end of the day may want different things for you but in reality are trying to live their life and failings through you.
You really do have everything going for you if only you can see the wood for the trees.

I really do want to stop self harming, I know its not the greatest thing I know, but its something I can do to myself, id you get me? I know that's stupid.
What a lovely post! You've said a lot of good things, and have been so nice. thanks xx

absolutebounder

slowlyfading wrote: »

I normally do it in a place where no one sees, but you're right - it doesn't make me look any better.

Sooner or later someone will see it whether that be a doctor or boyfriend


Both parents are very successful and clever, my two cousins are also extremely clever - both got 9 A*'s at GCSE and 5 A's at A Level, and then First for their degrees. Now both of them are now in well paid jobs.

I get the impression this is the crux of your problem. Either you see a need to emulate them and havent found a way so are under the false impression you have failed or they are putting pressure on you because they are trying to relive their lives through you. Either way you have got to resist and be your own woman


Never really thought about it like that before...

There si always more than one way to see a situation. If something is wrong try looking from another angle

I really do want to stop self harming, I know its not the greatest thing I know, but its something I can do to myself, id you get me? I know that's stupid.
What a lovely post! You've said a lot of good things, and have been so nice. thanks xx

You dont need to do anything to yourself to be special. In life you will come across all sorts of different people from @rseholes to genuine kind people. Some people say all the right things but mean something else. men are good at this when trying to get into your knickers. Some people are so far up their backside you wont want to know them anyway.
The mixture of people though is what makes the world tick and you should be part of it. Dont fret over what sort of job your parents want you to have. Get out and meet people. Find a job that lets you be happy most of the time and soon wealth will come (wealth doesnt just mean money)
I know you like the gym but I honestly think it might be good for you to try one of these befriending services where you get out and help disabled and elderly people from all walks of life. You will learn a lot about yourself and meet some of the areas more entertaining characters.

Ps I have just read your signature. Dont just put it on your posts live by it. It is one of the most sensible sayings of all time

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I was in shock this morning when I got my post,I opened one to find a pair of Visa Party 2012 tickets inside and I knew I couldnt go but my brother lives in London so I offered them to him and I have just sent them off in case he and his friend want to go being the nice sister I am


Love and light,

Katie xxx

LadyMorticia

Welcome to the thread goodlife. Sorry for the late welcome.

I went to the doctors today. I managed to open up to my doctor about Rachel - the first time I've done it fully. She seemed concerned about the weekend and went through things with me. I also asked her if she was just in training or was actually permanently at the surgery and she said that this is her permanent job, so that's one less thing off of my mind.
I had to see the nurse too, just to get my dressings changed. I won't go into details as we're not allowed to discuss medical problems here but it's not good at the moment.

Also need to have a blood test on Tuesday just to confirm what's wrong with my liver. It's not life threatening though and needs no medical intervention.

Just need to talk to Janette now.

xx

Tulip

:hello: Anni,

So Sorry to hear that things are not good with you medically,I know we cant chat about medication anymore so dont worry.I am ok and just relaxing today staying in as the man is still doing my kitchen window,I have managed to go out for a while but not too long so that was good

love and light,

Katie xxx