Depression Support Thread

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

You dont know how lucky you are.

Oh, I realise that things are better now than they were years ago. I think mental health is a bit less of a stigma now than it used to be too.

The thing is, my original appointment was a few weeks ago on a Monday and my OH had the day off work to come with me. An hour before the appointment the medical place rang me up and cancelled the appointment meaning a waste of a day off for OH. This was also his last day's holiday this year so Ive had to rearrange my appointment to be at a weekend because I can't go on my own.

Also, I get stressed and anxious about being out and about and having appointments like this and yet this is what I have to do in order for them to assess me. Ive been quite upset all week knowing I had this appointment today. Telling me that things used to be worse doesn't really help my situation though really.:rolleyes:

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

I dont kniow what he said to these claimants but he got them back to work faster than modern treatment.

I can't work, so if they stopped my benefit I would have to just do without the money and we would have to tighten our belts.

When I was first diagnosed with depression I was off work sick for 9 weeks and did my utmost to get back to normal. The 2nd time I was off work for 6 weeks and then managed again to get back to work. After a few years of struggling in this way and trying to 'pull myself together' I decided that work was just one more stress than I could deal with and I went on the sick with the intention of handing my notice in when it ran out. This way we were able to sort our finances out before my money stopped completely and I felt much better knowing that I could stay at home and concentrate on looking after myself and my family and hopefully getting better.

After 2 years off work I accidentally found out that I should have been getting incapacity benefit all that time and so put a claim in. They backdated my benefits and I have been on Incapacity Benefit for the last 6 years or so. I have always tried to see this as extra money so that if it should stop we can exist without it. Im lucky that, as long as my husband keeps his job (touch wood) we will be alright in this way. But, as I say, I can't work and if things got bad we would have to sell the house and buy something a lot smaller.

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

Telling me that things used to be worse doesn't really help my situation though really.:rolleyes:

You could be right but if I had said things were better back then I dont suppose that would have helped your condition either:D
You do bring up an interesting point though. If a person knows that something doesnt help their situation then presumably they have an idea what does. However the length of time someone spends suffering depression shows they obviously dont value the changes needed otherwise they would do it.
Serious question. Being realistic What do you think would help your situation?
Edited Sorry your post above was posted while I was writing this one which on reflection looks blunter than it was meant to be. I hate seeing unhappy people and know that the resources needed to beat depression are already in the patients own mind. The problem I see is trying to get them to see they actually have the answers. Stopping benefits obviously doesnt help and that was not what I meant about him getting people back to work.

shazrobo

i've suffered from depression for over thirteen years, and know in my own mind what would help me get better, but things at home are never going to change, i'm always going to be my sons carer's, and as they are gettting older they are harder to handle, and there is no help available, tried social services, they lack finances, and cos kids looked after well, they wont do anything.
so question for AB how do i get better?
yes sometimes i go out and am really happy, other times i am so down, and crying, eg yesterday, took daniel to doctors for an ecg, he got violent and ran away, luckily came back soon, and i got to go out.
today took him for flu jab, again, tried to run away again, managed to stop him, and got hurt in process

maytaurus

shazrobo re;
''...and know in my own mind what would help me get better, but things at home are never going to change,''
I think this is often a problem ....
it's the same for me...
some people think there is an answer to everything...but sometimes there just isn't a way to improve things no matter how hard you try.
This does mean that you can empathise with others in similar situations though.

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

Serious question. Being realistic What do you think would help your situation?

There is a relative in my life who causes me a lot of stress. Although I love them, I don't like them as a person and spend my time either avoiding them or trying to keep the peace with them. Trouble is, we live quite near to them and I find myself thinking if things would be different if we had moved right away years ago.

Also, when I was growing up I wasn't allowed out to play like everyone else my age was and so I was quite lonely and I think you learn a lot socially from mixing with people your own age as you grow up. I now don't like social situations very much (although I used to be a party animal!) and can't be bothered with people. Although this didn't cause my depression I don't think it helps me now.

LadyMorticia

I know some of you will be wondering how things with Sam went so I shall tell you.

They went exceedingly well. He got here at about 9:45am and we chatted for a bit which really broke the ice and we had many laughs. Then we watched "The Fountain" (great movie. You really should watch it. It's awe inspiring). Then we did some photography and more chatting. He gave me lots of hugs. We went out for a little walk and he put his arm around me and held my hand. Came back and did more chatting and things.
Still not sure what's going to happen r.e. distance and everything, but he kept on calling me beautiful. I kept going bright red.lol.

So yes, there's my update for you all.

xx

LadyMorticia

Hello everyone by the way. :wave:

BeachBeth - These medicals are scary. I know they are. My doctor wrote a letter to DWP about my last one as I wouldn't leave the house at all and the medical was cancelled and my benefit continued. I hope it all goes well for you hun and isn't too stressful. I say "too" stressful as I know it will be stressful for you darl. ((((hugs))))

xx

beachbeth

Glad you had a good time with Sam. Sounds like you had a nice day.

It was stressful at the doctors. Its funny because I was thinking this morning that if my OH wasn't driving me there and coming with me I wouldn't be able to go at all and I was wondering what would happen then. I thought perhaps they would send a doctor here to my home but maybe they wouldn't as they didn't do that with you.

shazrobo

hi anni, glad it went well with sam, sounds like you had a fun day :j

have had a bad time with daniel again this evening, was so low, i broke down in tears, rang my mum for a chat, and she sent my dad, round, who stayed for a chat and calmed the situation down for tonight, just wish i could understand why daniel does the things he does. he knows he is stronger than me physically, and as such knows i cant make him do anything, so he is trying to rule the roost, trouble is as the adult i won't let him and that causes conflict.
both kids off to bed early tonight, at 8pm, so i can have a nice soak in bath and relax, before casualty.
hugs all
shaz xxx