Quiet desperation - worried about the future..

ameratsu

I've decided to use a new name - I am a prolific poster on quite a few MSE boards but I feel it necessary to post under a new name as anyone who would wish to root around in my normal id would soon know my identity.

Anyhoo, I'm far from really desperate - yet, but a bad situation could easily turn very bad in a short space of time if things continue to go wrong.
Just a month ago our life was normal, ticking along nicely, then bam! as is always the case, something comes out of the blue and turns your life upside down - in our case it was my hubby losing his very well paid job.
We have £70k left on the mortgage, so thankfully not huge and my wages will cover the payments, unsecured debts of @ £20k , incl. a loan that costs £350 a month that ends next May and other debt payments of £400 or so.
My hubby has been paid for an extra month (just over £2k) and officially his contract ends next week. He's actually been finished for the last 3 weeks and has been agency temping at £7 an hour (less than half his normal pay).
We are lucky as we already had September's bills covered - he was actually expecting redundancy rather than what actually occured and we have been puting money aside for a while. So financially we are ok till xmas as long as the temporary work doesn't die off - I really dont want to touch the £2k extra pay if we can help it.
We are also losing £120 a month in child benefit/tax credits from this month as dd is just retaking an A level so won't be in college enough hours to qualify, she does have a p-t job however.

My hubby is finding job hunting terribly stressful - he is sick and tired of recruitment "specialists" saying they have the perfect job for him and then nothing comes of it - that has happened four times now, he's got his hopes up and then not even had an interview - the one interview he did go for, he was 100% certain he'd got the job only for it to fall through at the last minute. In the past he has got every job he's been up for, he even turned down a job 4 months ago because they weren't offering enough money - how ironic is that?
He has now applied for over a dozen jobs and only had the one interview - I'm starting to think the fact that he is now over 40 has something to do with it. He applied for two slightly "lower" positions that would have been perfect and practically on the doorstep, only to be told he was "over qualified.:rolleyes:
He feels like saying that he's WAY over qualified for order picking in a warehouse and delivery driving but that's what he's doing at the moment! We simply can't survive long term with him earning less than £20k, he was on £32k for the last year or so but we could just about manage on £20k.

I want to get a 2nd job - I work for 3 hours in the early evening office cleaning so I could do with something in a morning as well, the problem at the moment is that my ibs has flared up due to all the stress and also , until dd goes back to college in September and she knows what her timetable will be, I can't really apply for anything in case she has any 9am starts. She and I share my car which adds to my problem.
I know I've rambled on but I really don't have anyone to talk to, I only have my sister and since I've not been able to bail her out financially, she's been remarkably absent from my life:rolleyes: - she owes me at least £250, she lives on disability benefits and I never minded helping her out but I know that she now gets full HB and is £50 a week better off than she was.
It's all the uncertainty that is getting to me, hubby keeps saying that something will turn up soon, but he was saying that a month ago!
I just don't know how to stay positive, I just keep worrying what will happen if we are still in this postion at Xmas - we are booked to take his dad to Egypt next Easter and payment is due in January, his dad will probably offer to pay but to be honest we may need his help financially for essential things and not something unnecessary like a holiday.
The last time we were in a situation anything like this was 13 years ago when he came out of the Air force - but then he had 5 months to find a job and we were renting a house.
We were just beginning to see light after a tough few years, we lost my dad, his mum and his grandma in the space of 4 years - why is it when life is good, something comes along and knocks you down again?
It's now pouring with rain (again) and I have to go to work in 15 minutes - oh joy.

count_rostov

Oh poor you, it all sounds like it's really getting on top of you. What's the last date you can cancel the holiday? If it comes to it, it's better to lose the deposit and go somewhere nice in 2010. I would hang on until the last minute though as if your husband gets a new job before Christmas, it will be a lovely treat for you to look forward to. The only other thing I can suggest is to hop over to the Old-Style board for ideas on how to cut down on your household expenses, but maybe you're already an old hand.
Anyway, congratulations to your husband for doing cr*ppy jobs which earn money, rather than sitting around moaning about not having a job. He's right, something WILL come along when you least expect it. It's just horrible waiting.

floss2

Ok, have a hug :grouphug: and then look at the list of suggestions below.

First of all, take a look at your holiday insurance, and see if you are covered for cancellation due to loss of job.

Second, get your daughter claiming for EMA (http://ema.direct.gov.uk/) and she can use that extra money to pay for her busfares to college.

Thirdly, look for another job for yourself that will bring in some extra income and will fit with your other job.

Fourthly, write to your sister and suggest that she repays the loan you made to her some time ago, as you now need the money back.

Fifthly, is your OH's CV on Monster? Has he been looking on all the job-search websites (Total jobs, Monster etc)? Has he been buying your local jobs paper? Has he registered with your local agencies + any relevant to his field of work? Does he have membership of any professional organisations that have magazines (with job adverts in the back...)?

Something WILL come up , but you also need to look at other ways to reduce your outgoings & increase your income until that time. It isn't his age - my partner isn't yet 44 and was with his last employer for 2 years when he was headhunted to a new company in Spring this year, so he isn't too old, honest!

fsdss

perhaps i missed it in your post - but check to see if you have any protection cover on any of your loans - losing your job may qualify you to make a claim. its always worth a look.

alwaysonthego_2

Do you have any more secured loans apart from your mortgage?
Do you have payment protection on your mortgage or your loans?

I advice that you fill out an income expeniture sheet listing your incomings and outgoings. Remember to keep on top of your priority debt like mortgage, utility bills, council tax over your unsecured debts. Once you have filled the expenditure sheet look what you have left over that you can reasonably offer your creditors and make them a offer. If your loans are with your bank I would recommend you changing your bank account so your bank can't access your money.

Please checkthis link out we give our client this information http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/england_wales/pdf/self_help_pack/full_pack.pdf

belfastgirl23

I know you're a regular so not sure whether it's helpful to say this, but the debt free wannabe board is great if you fill in an SOA they can help you spot any fat on your budget and can help you with prioritising debts etc - they really have a huge wealth of knowledge based on bitter experience and are very generous with sharing it.

Secondly though, I know it's hard not to worry but in the long term things always work out. Your husband is determined to get a job and you and he are still strong and together. This is important. For the sake of your health, do what you can but don't obsess over it.

Finally, would doctoring your husband's cv help? I know someone who for a time left his degree off his CV cos it really didn't help - it's not a lie just an omission. Could your husband do anything this way when he's applying for jobs?

Oh and just thought, in terms of the holiday I think you should make enquiries re insurance and cut off date for cancelling etc. Then once you know the cut off date put it totally out of your mind for the time being. A lot can happen between now and then.

Lots of luck and do come back and post if it helps to get it off your chest.

mrcow

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Finally, would doctoring your husband's cv help? I know someone who for a time left his degree off his CV cos it really didn't help - it's not a lie just an omission. Could your husband do anything this way when he's applying for jobs?

I also know someone who left their age off their cv as it was getting in the way. Again, it's not a lie, just an omission and not a particularly important one. If it's stopping him getting through the door in some places, then leave it out.

Also, you've probably already done this, but he should be putting a call into the person who offered him that job 4 months ago......you never know, they may have other vacancies or a short list still open.

With many jobs, it's who you know that can help get you a heads up with particular positions (or good agents who actually do their jobs properly). He should make a list of anyone he's worked with over the past 10 years who may be able to come up with something......it's all about networking and could really pay off.

Posting up your SOA is a great plan. Even if you think you are cutting right back, thereis always space to go and save even more (if you don't agree, you're not looking at it right!).

I'm also thinking about the loan that you have with the £350 repayment. I'm wondering if it's a worthwhile exercise getting a settlement figure on it (should be around the £3k mark) and seeing if you can get a 0% for 15 months credit card to cover it for a while whilst you're struggling. The idea behind this is that you'll save money on interest repayments (will probably have a 3% transfer fee) and will also have the flexibilty to repay what you can afford for now and can then start paying the £350 per month back off once he starts work again. If the 15 months run out, just replace with another deal until you're a little steadier on your feet.

ameratsu

Thanks for the various pep talks, I'm trying to cover every possibility so it helps to have other's opinions.
I truly hope I'm worrying for nothing and a wonderful job will turn up for hubby - I'm a born worrier but I'm trying to make contingeny plans for the worst possible scenario.
Everything is already on 0% or low interest cards, we have a virgin card for which the 0% deal ends in December, then it shoots up to a scary 20% interest! That is the priority for getting another deal for, I'm not too worried about the loan as we could clear it after xmas with the extra pay he received.
He has contacted everyone he's ever worked with , that's how he got the agency jobs.
The idea about altering his CV is a good one - it seems it's "too good" for the area we live in, it's on just about every job and agency website there is and he is getting calls about jobs paying £40k+, the problem is they are just too far away, he's been told that he's "unusually" multi skilled and as such should be in high demand - the job he was offered a few months back was via someone he knows but they have since moved on, typically.
He actually resigned from his job but was officially "released" from his contract ( he could have taken them for constructive dismissal basically) and has got good references out of it - the company is now in freefall and they have either sacked the management or made them reapply for their positions!
Two of hubby's former colleagues have now also quit so he will be up against them for similar jobs and JCB are laying off staff so there will be a huge influx of job seekers in the local area very soon.

I'm an avid reader of the DFW board and have done everything possible to reduce our expenditure, unfortunately it's been an expensive year - we've had a £4k holiday, spent nearly £1000 on a new tv and blue ray player and had to spend £100's on my car as dd crashed it into a lampost!

It does seem like most people in real trouble on the dfw board have little to lose by going onto a dmp or even going bankrupt, they have much worse problems than ours but we have so much to lose - we have more or less 50% equity in our house so creditors would go for the jugular I'm sure and demand we sell our home if we couldn't afford the payments, we've been here for 12 years and never plan on moving again after moving 8 times in 12 years with the Air force. People think that unsecured debt means that your home would be safe but from what I've read, creditors can use charging orders to force a sale.
I'm trying to plan for the worst whilst hoping for the best, I've been so busy trying to stay strong that it's all starting to catch up with me now - I seriously thought that hubby was going to have a breakdown due to what has happened this past 6 weeks or so, it's small comfort to know that the person directly responsible for his work situation was sacked, but it came a week too late unfortunately, plus I'm sure they will have paid him off, they did with the last GM.
He doesn't deserve any of this - he's the most loyal, hard working and amenable person - the total opposite of me in many ways and I know it's really affecting him.
It's a waiting game and I'm no good at waiting!