How do you manage your finances as a couple?

sazzyb

We pool all our money into joint account...bills, CC, DDs, joint savings all come out of the pot each month then any left over we split equally and transfer back to our individual accounts to do as we like without having to justify to other half. It works for us even though there's quite a difference between our salaries, although I earn more, I/we see it as our money apart from the little bit we get as our own. Anything we want goes on the CC to be paid in full at the end of the month anyway - any household things or necessities we each buy go on the CC and are paid from the joint money, any personal luxuries we choose to buy comes from our own money (something we agreed on when we started living together). If the money's not there, we dont buy it...disciplined i guess but that's me (and i do tend to control the finances cos he isnt too bothered!!) but i must say we very very rarely argue over anything money related so like i say, i guess it works for us, wouldnt work for everyone!

alison6692

Hiya x

When hubby and I first moved in togethe we used to argue loads about money as I had to run the car we both used on my salary - even though my now husband earnt a lot more than me. So one night we had a massive argument and I said it wasn't fair that he earnt so much more than me - yet we both had our own accounts - so he always had a lot more money than me! So we decided to have one account which works for us.

We both put our wages into one account and we share any bonus's that my husband earns - or any overtime money that I earn. We each have a set amount to spend on NICE things every month, which is equal. It works out really well and we very rarely argue about money now.

HTH

Alison x

Any

newlywed wrote: »

You are only financially connected when you get a joint account, joint loan or joint mortgage

I'm married and not financially linked with OH - it's not automatic on marriage

You can be financially linked when not married - if you apply for a joint account

Hi Newlywed,
That's what I thought... But yesterday I applied for my Experian credit report and I saw how many times my name has been searched because my dear half applied for c/cards. It shows you everything - when and where he applied etc. It's great. Which I don't mind, but he is rubbish with money and he has many missed c/card payments (just forgot to do it, I have to manage that now) so I am thinking, when I apply for new c/card and they see his scoring because they WILL check his, how will it affect the amount I get because we are connected? They must search your partner for a reason...

Any

[Just as people are entiled to do whatever they like with their hard earned am I also not entitled to have an opinion about that way of doing things?[/quote]

Hi,
I am not saying you are not entitled to have an opinion, where did I say that? I only asked why is it "horifying", I am only interested in your feelings on the matter as for why use such a harsh word.
I also thought that to say "I am not his mum" was a bit harsh for all the ones that have to deal with all the finances for their OH.. Sorry if I sounded harsh on you!!
As for why I am interested in your feelings about this - obviously you are in very strong financial position, but I am younger then my OH and as I am paying for everything with him, I cannot imagine that after many many years of living together and paying bills etc I would leave with nothing because everything is in his name.. You see? That is my feeling.

doelani

We have joint account which all money goes into , on a friday I withdraw cash for groceries and spends.

fedupnow wrote: »

I give him spending money.

Wow...... I sound such a control freak.

then I give hubby his spanding money too :rotfl: if he runs out or needs extra he will ask " have we any extra money in bank" before using his debit card.

My hubby would not know how much any of our bills are etc due to past debt problems we do work on a strick budget then on 28th once all DD have been paid, money goes to savings etc, we will split any " spare " money in bank. We try and deal in cash for our spending money.

this system works for us.


p.s. my stepdaugher is horrified that her daddy only gets £xx per week to spend when he works and I take all his money off him for myself lol tried explaining to her that is he needs extra he gets it from bank and this is how we budget lol

starbump

Any wrote: »

Also once you are married you are also financialy connected to each other on credit reports etc.

newlywed wrote: »

You are only financially connected when you get a joint account, joint loan or joint mortgage

Under the old rules, any time a credit search was done, everyone with the same surname at the same address appeared on your credit report. Thus, assuming you took your husband's surname, you would become financially associated. This is no longer the case and anyone (including any family members) whom you do not have a financial connection with should not appear on your credit report and you can apply to have them removed.

You can become financially connected in many ways! The secondary card holder of a credit card is linked - this often creates financial links with children/parents, not just spouses ("emergency" credit card while at uni, etc).

Any

starbump wrote: »

Under the old rules, any time a credit search was done, everyone with the same surname at the same address appeared on your credit report. Thus, assuming you took your husband's surname, you would become financially associated. This is no longer the case and anyone (including any family members) whom you do not have a financial connection with should not appear on your credit report and you can apply to have them removed.

You can become financially connected in many ways! The secondary card holder of a credit card is linked - this often creates financial links with children/parents, not just spouses ("emergency" credit card while at uni, etc).

Thank you for this Starbump. I was very surprised I had my husband on my credit rating, but then about 3 years ago I was secondary cardholder on one of his credit cards... So that must be it!

glossgal

Any wrote: »

[Just as people are entiled to do whatever they like with their hard earned am I also not entitled to have an opinion about that way of doing things?

Hi,
I am not saying you are not entitled to have an opinion, where did I say that? I only asked why is it "horifying", I am only interested in your feelings on the matter as for why use such a harsh word.
I also thought that to say "I am not his mum" was a bit harsh for all the ones that have to deal with all the finances for their OH.. Sorry if I sounded harsh on you!!
As for why I am interested in your feelings about this - obviously you are in very strong financial position, but I am younger then my OH and as I am paying for everything with him, I cannot imagine that after many many years of living together and paying bills etc I would leave with nothing because everything is in his name.. You see? That is my feeling.[/quote]

...Well I suppose horifying is quite a strong word lol! I just know that I would never want to be completely financially dependant on anyone regardless of the circumstances I suppose. When I say 'like his mum'..well I stand by this, talk of giving the husband/boyfriend (or girlfriend) spending money isn't far removed from the parent child pocket money scenario is it? I know some people say it in a lighthearted way but the end result is still the same and I don't see why anyone would have to live like that, not unless your OH is a gambler or has mental health problems or something..

Any

glossgal wrote: »

Hi,

...Well I suppose horifying is quite a strong word lol! I just know that I would never want to be completely financially dependant on anyone regardless of the circumstances I suppose. When I say 'like his mum'..well I stand by this, talk of giving the husband/boyfriend (or girlfriend) spending money isn't far removed from the parent child pocket money scenario is it? I know some people say it in a lighthearted way but the end result is still the same and I don't see why anyone would have to live like that, not unless your OH is a gambler or has mental health problems or something..

yeah, we have a joint account and then separate accounts as I said.. And everything was fine.. Until last month when I wanted to buy something together for our house,I found out that he ows 15k on credit cards!! Not only that, this is the second time this happened in 3 years. This is a guy who brings £2.5k home a month and pays only £800 into joint account, so where the hell does he spend that amount of money? As we are married and I would like a child in 2 years I had to start looking after his monies - did balance transfers, budget sheet, set up standing orders... It wasn't without arguments and I had to put knife on his neck - either he takes this seriously or divorce! You are right about being independent and everything, I would like that and at the moment I am in it's way, but in future when I get pregnant and stop working for a year, this guy should be the guy to look after me and child and the cost that me being off work brings! I was facing a question - am I going to fight this and change his way to money or do I run? Love as many people say is not about money, but I wasn't prepared for my child to be with no toys, no nice clothes and no trips... If he loves me he will be willing and able to look after us, otherwise is not a man in my eyes!! It's only a year I will be off work, but I am not giving up everything while he is having a party! So what I am saying is - once you decide to stay with a guy for life, you should know what his spending habits are, not to be his mum, but to be sure that if anything happens to you ge won't let you starve..

belfastgirl23

Any wrote: »

yeah, we have a joint account and then separate accounts as I said.. And everything was fine.. Until last month when I wanted to buy something together for our house,I found out that he ows 15k on credit cards!! Not only that, this is the second time this happened in 3 years. This is a guy who brings £2.5k home a month and pays only £800 into joint account, so where the hell does he spend that amount of money? As we are married and I would like a child in 2 years I had to start looking after his monies - did balance transfers, budget sheet, set up standing orders... It wasn't without arguments and I had to put knife on his neck - either he takes this seriously or divorce! You are right about being independent and everything, I would like that and at the moment I am in it's way, but in future when I get pregnant and stop working for a year, this guy should be the guy to look after me and child and the cost that me being off work brings! I was facing a question - am I going to fight this and change his way to money or do I run? Love as many people say is not about money, but I wasn't prepared for my child to be with no toys, no nice clothes and no trips... If he loves me he will be willing and able to look after us, otherwise is not a man in my eyes!! It's only a year I will be off work, but I am not giving up everything while he is having a party! So what I am saying is - once you decide to stay with a guy for life, you should know what his spending habits are, not to be his mum, but to be sure that if anything happens to you ge won't let you starve..

What on earth had he spent it on??