ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

jools1985

900 days - very impressive Hero. I hope I'll gret that number eventually and really feel I will. Then again I know the gambler in me will always be there. Just got to keep strong.



I subscribed to your debt free diary a while ago and am in aew at well you are doing. I began my own debt free journey just yesterday when I contacted Step change. It all seems frightening at the minute but I shudder to think how much worse my financial and mental health situation would be if I hadn't stopped gambling.

Time_To_Change

Hi everybody. First time posting on here. I have posted a few times in the DMP forum as I am currently looking to go down this route. However I havnt found anybody else in the DMP forum with debt due to gambling. Just looking for some guidance and friendly advice. Also some inspiration to keep me motivated and on track. At the moment I don't see an end to the mess I am in but I am determined to get out of this.

jools1985

Time_To_Change wrote: »

Hi everybody. First time posting on here. I have posted a few times in the DMP forum as I am currently looking to go down this route. However I havnt found anybody else in the DMP forum with debt due to gambling. Just looking for some guidance and friendly advice. Also some inspiration to keep me motivated and on track. At the moment I don't see an end to the mess I am in but I am determined to get out of this.

hi, and welcome to this thread. Like you I'm in the early stages of starting a DMP. I stopped gambling 9 months ago and it was really hard at first. I really missed the buzz and anticipation of a win. I really don't miss the crashing lows and gamblers remorse though. I've banned myself from all online gambling sights. All my gambling was online playing slots. Like lots of other people I had a big win right at the start and believed my lucky streak would continue. Then when I was having huge losses I'd always think the next big win was just around the corner - God how deluded was I? I had my light bulb moment last December and was at rock bottom. I feel so much stronger now though and sleep better, I'm performing better at work and am generally calmer. Of course my gambling has left me with huge debts. I have thrown as much as I possibly could at the debt since I stopped gambling and have actually never missed a payment. Trouble is though I now have a lot of interest free offers coming to an end and I can't transfer to more interest free offers. The debt is no longer sustainable hence the DMP. I've been paying around £1250 a month in debt repayments since January but have also been ht with around £500 each month in interest. I have no option but to go on a DMP. It is for the best in the long term.



I've joined Gamblers Anonymous. I don't get to many ,eetings due to the shifts I have to work. My sponsor regularly checks in with me though. If you have not joined GA I'd really urge you to do so. Good luck with your journey xxx

Time_To_Change

jools1985 wrote: »

hi, and welcome to this thread. Like you I'm in the early stages of starting a DMP. I stopped gambling 9 months ago and it was really hard at first. I really missed the buzz and anticipation of a win. I really don't miss the crashing lows and gamblers remorse though. I've banned myself from all online gambling sights. All my gambling was online playing slots. Like lots of other people I had a big win right at the start and believed my lucky streak would continue. Then when I was having huge losses I'd always think the next big win was just around the corner - God how deluded was I? I had my light bulb moment last December and was at rock bottom. I feel so much stronger now though and sleep better, I'm performing better at work and am generally calmer. Of course my gambling has left me with huge debts. I have thrown as much as I possibly could at the debt since I stopped gambling and have actually never missed a payment. Trouble is though I now have a lot of interest free offers coming to an end and I can't transfer to more interest free offers. The debt is no longer sustainable hence the DMP. I've been paying around £1250 a month in debt repayments since January but have also been ht with around £500 each month in interest. I have no option but to go on a DMP. It is for the best in the long term.



I've joined Gamblers Anonymous. I don't get to many ,eetings due to the shifts I have to work. My sponsor regularly checks in with me though. If you have not joined GA I'd really urge you to do so. Good luck with your journey xxx

Thank you for taking the time to reply this sound almost identical to my situation. I only ever gambled playing online slots and I have now self excluded and put a block in my phone so I can't access them. It has only been around 6 weeks since I last bet but I have not had any urges as I am finding getting the debt under control is keeping me busy and I have also taken up running to keel me occupied. Can I ask if people have been honest about their gambling when writing to creditors? I guess they can see by looking at my credit card statements anyway. I am a bit worried about how they will react to me.

jools1985

I didn't mention gambling when I wrote my letters. However after receiving a text and an email from MBNA last week about my unpaid direct debit I phoned them - I was very nervous about it but did it. I thought maybe they hadn't yet read my letter. The lady I spoke to was really lovely and said straight away she could see I'd written to them. She asked me how I'd got into financial difficulties as she could see I'd had my accounts with them for years and had never missed any payments (I've got 2 MBNA cards). I told her I'd been gambling and struggling with my mental health. I also said I had joined GA and had stopped gambling 9 months ago. I also said I was working with Step Change to find a solution to the debt problem. She was so kind and said there was already a 30 day freeze on my account for interest and charges but she was going to increase that to 60 days because of my circumstances. I was so glad I made that call.

Time_To_Change

jools1985 wrote: »

I didn't mention gambling when I wrote my letters. However after receiving a text and an email from MBNA last week about my unpaid direct debit I phoned them - I was very nervous about it but did it. I thought maybe they hadn't yet read my letter. The lady I spoke to was really lovely and said straight away she could see I'd written to them. She asked me how I'd got into financial difficulties as she could see I'd had my accounts with them for years and had never missed any payments (I've got 2 MBNA cards). I told her I'd been gambling and struggling with my mental health. I also said I had joined GA and had stopped gambling 9 months ago. I also said I was working with Step Change to find a solution to the debt problem. She was so kind and said there was already a 30 day freeze on my account for interest and charges but she was going to increase that to 60 days because of my circumstances. I was so glad I made that call.

That's very reassuring as one of my creditors is MBNA. The others are barclaycard and Tescos so hopefully they will be as understanding.

cantcope

jools1985 wrote: »

Almost 9 months without gambling now. Life is so much clearer than it was in those dark days

fantastic :j

cantcope

Time_To_Change wrote: »

Hi everybody. First time posting on here. I have posted a few times in the DMP forum as I am currently looking to go down this route. However I havnt found anybody else in the DMP forum with debt due to gambling. Just looking for some guidance and friendly advice. Also some inspiration to keep me motivated and on track. At the moment I don't see an end to the mess I am in but I am determined to get out of this.

Welcome, i too had debts because of gambling. I rushed to pay them back as quickly as i could. I wouldnt advise this now. It put much more pressure on me that could have then made me want to gamble again.
Pay them back at an amount you can afford, dont put yourself into hardship.
Stopping gambling is the easy part, its changing everything else to support you stopping that i found more challenging.

Blocks on pc's, tablets, phones.
Telling my family and friends so they could support me
giving someone else access to my finances to deter me from gambling again (as they'd see it!)
going to GA ( i still do now 12 years later)
Being open and drawing a line, this is what happened, i cant change it, i accept it, and now i want to get on with my life, the right way.
Accepting i had no control whatsoever over gambling.

My destructive, out of control gambling was all online, slots, bingo, poker, roulette, blackjack, virtual racing, scratchcards.
However, i had to stop ALL gambling as i cant be certain that if i won a big amount on the lottery or at bingo, dog track etc i would then get greedy and want a slightly bigger win.... to me its not a problem not to gamble on anything. its much easier than i first thought it would be.
You know the deal, if i could win £100 more i'd be able to pay this off or buy that....

Wishing you all the best on your journey to becoming debt free and happy to support your recovery to not gamble.

You are not alone. x

12 years on from my journey i now have no debt, own a 3 bed house (bought ex out and got mortgage by myself), I've got married, divorced (expensive for me as he had no money!), have a 5 year old amazing little boy. good job, steady wage. I sleep well, i have great friends, i have self respect again and self love. My life is great. So far away from where i was all those years ago.

You'll find it easier once you accept and acknowledge you've had your last bet. good luck x

cantcope

HEROWHENZERO wrote: »

Since stopping gambling and going to GA each week, I've managed to pay off half of the debt that I had before getting into recovery. Just for today I will not gamble, one day at a time. 900 days since my last bet. (I do use an app to track, I'm not counting the days now)

That's brilliant well done! :j:j

jools1985

cantcope wrote: »

12 years on from my journey i now have no debt, own a 3 bed house (bought ex out and got mortgage by myself), I've got married, divorced (expensive for me as he had no money!), have a 5 year old amazing little boy. good job, steady wage. I sleep well, i have great friends, i have self respect again and self love. My life is great. So far away from where i was all those years ago.

You'll find it easier once you accept and acknowledge you've had your last bet. good luck x

cantcope you have always been so supportive to all of us on this gamble free journey. It's lovely to read how you have turned your life around and gives hope to those of us starting out on both quitting gambling and clearing debts.