ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

zackyv6661

cantcope wrote: »

Hi Zacky,

I'd second the GA as without it theres no way i could stop for more than a few months. I've now not gambled for over 11 years and have a good life!

He needs to tell his partner as while she doesn't know he is under pressure to magic up money he doesn't have... And his answer is clearly to try and win it.
Having big lies like that also wont help his mental health. Life is so much easier without having to remember what lies you've told and to who!

Ga will advise him to be honest, hand over his finances, put blocks on all smart devices and computers so that he cant gamble online.
The more people that know he has a problem the easier it will be for him as not only will he get support but i found i no longer had to squirm or lie if friends invited me to bingo/dogs/casino etc.
he needs to stop ALL gambling, so no lottery, raffles, online, bookies and other establishments.

I hope he accepts your help and support. x I'm happy to send an orange book (its a book from GA, i read it most days, only short). it might help you to understand and maybe give it to him to have a read through.

this is a good place for him to start. http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions

i answered yes to 15....if he answers (honestly) 7 or more then GA is the place for him x
also be aware that if he does go, there is no cure, he needs to go always.... its not a quick fix and then everything will be fine. he has a problem, he'll always have a problem. There's nothing wrong with that if hes willing to do something about it.

good luck x

Thank you so much for your reply, this is wonderful.

The orange book sounds like it would be very helpful to have a look at.

jools1985

cantcope wrote: »

massive steps Jools well done!!! Dont pressure yourself to pay the debt off as fast aspossible as this can make you want to take a short cut. make manageable payments x
feel free to post whenever you need. I'm happy to support. I've not gambled for over 11 years now. doesnt mean i dont sometimes want to though. i just use the support i have around me to keep me focussed.

Ah thanks CC, your support on this thread is amazing. I had an email the other day from another gambling site. I've been getting them almost daily but couldn't see how to unsubscribe so logged on the site and promply excluded myself for 5 years. I then got about 6 emails for linked sites confirming I was excluded for 5 years. The worrying thing was I didn't even remember joining most of them, although I must have done at some point. It felt very satisfying though.

As for debts, well I'll be 60 later on this year and really hope I'll have paid them off before I retire at 66. I have a hefty mortgage payment of £767 per month, but only have 30 more payments to go on that which will ease up my finances considerably.

I look back and thinj what an idiot I've been, starting to gamble at the age of 56. All online, I've never been inside a bookies or ever bought a lottery ticket. I try to only look forward now though. Onwards and Upwards :j

cantcope

im sure with determination and hard work you'll have a debt free and serene retirement Jools x

jools1985 wrote: »

Ah thanks CC, your support on this thread is amazing. I had an email the other day from another gambling site. I've been getting them almost daily but couldn't see how to unsubscribe so logged on the site and promply excluded myself for 5 years. I then got about 6 emails for linked sites confirming I was excluded for 5 years. The worrying thing was I didn't even remember joining most of them, although I must have done at some point. It felt very satisfying though.

As for debts, well I'll be 60 later on this year and really hope I'll have paid them off before I retire at 66. I have a hefty mortgage payment of £767 per month, but only have 30 more payments to go on that which will ease up my finances considerably.

I look back and thinj what an idiot I've been, starting to gamble at the age of 56. All online, I've never been inside a bookies or ever bought a lottery ticket. I try to only look forward now though. Onwards and Upwards :j

cantcope

if you private message me your address im happy to send you one.
please dont put your address on here though!

zackyv6661 wrote: »

Thank you so much for your reply, this is wonderful.

The orange book sounds like it would be very helpful to have a look at.

jools1985

10 weeks today since my last bet - it feels good

cantcope

great news Jools!

jools1985

4 months yesterday since my last bet. I'm feeling really good about that and not missing it at all.

Leanneglos1

Help please...so I!!!8217;m in serious debt all from gambling, tonight told my OH everything, well wrote it all down, questions so I!!!8217;m going to close all bank accounts and get wages paid in to his account, we are then going to get me a prepaid card, luckily my credit score is trashed (on DMP) so can!!!8217;t get anymore credit anyway. What do people suggest first steps are, GA meetings-some Of the meeting locations say suitable for the 12 step programme, how do I find out more about this?? Can I just turn up to the 12 step ones or do I begin with just the general ones, also is their anything I can install on my iPhone to stop me gambling, I don!!!8217;t have a computer so it!!!8217;s all been on my phone, any other suggestions or advice?? Determined to get over this addiction and get my life back

jools1985

Hi Leanne and welcome to this supportive thread. The 12 step programme will be explained to you when you join GA and is suitable for all. You'll be given booklets which are very helpful and will also be assigned to another member as a sort of mentor to guide you and for contact should you need to talk/text for help. These people are called sponsors.

There is software you can download to put on your phone, but I don't know what it's called. I have not used it myself, but I have banned myself from all gambling sites I am aware of. Another option is to use a phone that is not a smart phone so you can't access gambling sites in the first place.

It's a hard journey but you have recognised you have an addiction and want to beat it. I wish you every success.

Leanneglos1

Thank you for your reply, do I simply just turn up to the meetings or ring in advance, is the 12 step a weekly programme so will I miss the first few weeks etc if i go this week? Where I live they have 2 different meeting locations, 1 for the 12 step according to the GA website and 1 just to have a chat and discuss things with other people in similar situations, would you recommend both or just one?