IA's back on the tracks diary.

daphne_descends

7 hours? :eek: I think you should see Sammy about some kind of gold star or maybe a medal :eek:

I might have spent about 7 minutes sorting some washing out yesterday :think:

immoral_angeluk

daphne_descends wrote: »

7 hours? :eek: I think you should see Sammy about some kind of gold star or maybe a medal :eek:

I might have spent about 7 minutes sorting some washing out yesterday :think:

But I normally don't even 7 seven minutes... hence why it took so long to sort 2 rooms out!!! Going to keep on top of it now it's done though.

immoral_angeluk

Morning all. Just a quickie weekend update! Call it the sunday omnibus if you will... lol

Went out with Dster on friday night. Was a really good night but it was very quiet so it ended up just being me D and another mate for most of the night. Was still good fun and a great night but I was definately worse for wear by the time I got home at 3.30am. Had trouble sleeping but eventually got to sleep around 4.15-30ish, but then was woken up at 7am and couldn't get back to sleep so ended up getting up with the girls feeling VERY rough and possibly still drunk. lol
Had to go into town early before work to get my glasses fixed as the arms had become wonky but they're all fixed now.
Then went to work and 5 hours of lovely Argos work..
Came home and then went running with D to burn off all the previous nights alcohol... :rotfl: THAT was interesting with a hangover...
Then Ste and I sat down with a movie.. 'Over her dead body'.. which was actually really quite funny.
Today we've got band practice for the first time since the gig. Going to run over some of the idea's we've got and have a go at arranging them and getting them written/recorded. Looking forward to it actually. We need to get back playing again.
Also have a job I've got to call up about. It's bar staff on saturday nights 9pm til 3.30am at the pub we go to on fridays. Will call about that today. Would mean that I'm out with D on fridays and working saturday afternoons AND nights though...
Right.. best go start practicing some bass ready for later..
Hope everyone's well and having a good weekend.

immoral_angeluk

Well.. it's 9am on sunday the 5th october... and I've not updated this in god knows how many days because of everything that's been going on... but this diary is my lifeline to some kind of emotional sanity, so I suppose I should update it reaaaaaaally...

For anyone who hasn't seen my other thread/heard from others, Ste and I are splitting up. He's still at home at the moment but will be moving in with his mum soon. We're splitting amicably on the understanding that we've both not been happy for ages and that we've just been living as mates. For ours and the girls' sakes we're splitting to relearn to be happy and love ourselves... and taking it from there. If we then find that we're happier as people and would also be happy together again then great, or if we're happier on our own, then so be it. But we need to do this to be happy, full stop, in the long run anyway. Our first thoughts are obviously for the girls. And they want happy parents who aren't miserable all the time.
Anyway, enough ranting about that emotional stuff.
Money is a bit up in the air at the moment obviously. Once Ste moves out I will be applying for housing benefit and council tax benefit as well as getting the single occupancy discount on the council tax until the CTB goes through. I'll also be eligible for income support but I'm thinking of delaying applying until the end of october as it's all changing over to Employment support allowance and they're dropping the automatic involvement with the CSA rule from what I hear. I've got to dig deeper into it though to get the full picture.
Other than that I'm actually ok... it's been a really rough week but we're getting there slowly. It'll be easier when Ste's at his mums as we can focus on moving forward rather than living in the limbo we are now which is just horrible and hard to bare. Thankfully the girls are too young to know anything about whats going on other than Ash knowing they'll be staying at nannies with daddy some nights. God bless childish ignorance.

Anyway. Hope everyone's well and sorry for rambling on again. Will try and keep this updated as much as possible as and when there's something new to tell.

Just want to say thank you to everyone on here for the support and love. It really is greatly appreciated and I love you all. x

Dumyat

take care. x

skint_spice

Slowly is good IA, it's a lot to take in. Things will get easier though and there will be happy times ahead.

BTW did you decide to go for the pub job?

immoral_angeluk

skint_spice wrote: »

Slowly is good IA, it's a lot to take in. Things will get easier though and there will be happy times ahead.

BTW did you decide to go for the pub job?

I was going to, but Ste will be having the car and I'd have no way of getting back after my shift.

sammy115

IA - I personally love to read your rambles...at least I know then that you are okay, its when you are quiet I worry!

At least you have done the sensible thing and taken a good look at your relationship before things got too far and it starts to affect the children. There is nothing worse than parents who don't like each other and that is whether they are together or apart!

:grouphug: have a chilled day.

skint_spice

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I was going to, but Ste will be having the car and I'd have no way of getting back after my shift.

I just thought it might be a bit much on top of all the other stuff. if you really want to do it though lots of pubs pay for a staff taxi (unless that's just up here).

immoral_angeluk

Can I also just post up a little disclaimer? Over the past week I have discovered that my 'coping mechanism' has been to become very practical and almost making myself cut off from the emotion of it. I'm coping better when I'm not sat thinking about it... and rather focusing on something in particular... like for example I'm feeling a bit crap this morning so I decided to check out again on entitled to the benefits situation... and that made me feel better (and realise that I'm proably going to be better off financially.... where's the logic...) once it's all sorted and even though I'm working at argos I'll still get housing and council tax paid as well as income support. So I feel better with that side of things.. but at the same time I feel bad for trying to distance myself emotionally from things..

I suppose that's really the point I'm getting at... te last thing I want is for people to think I don't care... or am being cold hearted... if I post up something on here very 'to the point' for example..
I do care. And I feel like crap at the moment emotionally.... and my way of dealing with it is probably very different to how others would... I'm just not the 'sit in the house and cry for 3 weeks' type.

Sorry.. small rant there.. mainly aimed at the trolls who would no doubt use the above as new 'ammo'...