What would you have done/do?

sturll

Js_Other_Half wrote: »

_pale_ You need to contact the police for your own peace of mind.
Police Child & Public Protection Unit 01924 293811

You're right.

Thank you

star-X_2

Sturll, i do think you did the right thing considering you had your children with you, not to mention the fact that you were probably in shock at seeing him, hardly someone you expected to bump into. The best thing you can do is phone the police, give them the recent photo, explain the situation, especially the wedding ring and then try not to worry yourself, easy said i know. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, we would all do things differently if we had warnings of what was about to happen/ who we were about to bump into, probably we'd all do the things that would get us into trouble, thinking we were doingit for the best, the world has gone crazy as in the pc things, you'd have been banned from the shop etc etc, not on i know. The best thing to be taken out of todays situation is that your kids werent upset, im thinking of you in this horrible situation. Are you going to tell your cousins that you saw 'that'? Im not sure i would, think of memories and feelings you might dredge up, good luck xxx

bestpud

sturll wrote: »

But right now i feel more guilt than anger. Guilt that perhaps, just maybe i had the perfect oppertunity today and blew it.

I can see why you are thinking this but please try not to. You did not rape those children and you are not responsible for his actions now either.

As I said, it is a very difficult situation to find yourself in and hindsight is always a great thing isn't it? I see someone like that every now and again so I do know how you feel, but personally, if I have my children with me, there is no way I will let him even clap eyes on them.

Tbh, if he is still doing it then he is unlikely to stop now and in that case, letting the police know where he is may be the best course of action. Someone like that would be more dangerous if driven 'underground'.

Tell the police and rest assured you have done the best you could in the circumstances. Do your cousins know about this? If not, what do you think their reaction would be, out of interest?

Savvy_Sue

sturll wrote: »

Perhaps, but on closer inspection of the photograph when i loaded it onto the PC he was wearing a wedding ring.

Doesn't prove a lot: some women continue to wear wedding rings post divorce / widowhood.

But I think you've had good advice. I really worry about public 'naming and shaming', because although I don't doubt he is who you say he is, anyone who overheard you if you'd had a go might then mistake someone else for him, however distinctive his appearance seems to you.

ailuro2

I am in a similar situation with the thought that one day I will bump into my ex brother in law, I know what he did to his own child, and how it has torn the family apart.

The thing is, though, what can be done short of locking him up for the rest of his life? He already served his jail term.
He was married to my sister for 10 years, and none of us ever suspected he was capable of what he did, so I know he would easily cover up any accusations someone made if they saw him, and even if he was beaten up, it wouldn't do any lasting damage, would it? So what could be said or done that would be the right thing?

There is nothing, sadly, that would give satisfaction that wouldn't incur a jail sentence for me.

The tattoo thing I agree with - maybe not on a forehead, but somewhere that anyone getting intimate with someone who was tried and found guilty of child molestation , then there would be no hiding from what they were.

shelby161

Hi sturll.Just had to post something as i had a similar experience this week.The "father" of a girl i went to school with walkes into a library that i was in with my daughter this week. I know that he abused at least 4 of his 7 children,and raped my friend from when she was very young until she was around 14.I felt sick,angry and wanted to leave or shout and tell everyone in there[ there were lots of children as it was a drop in activity session for children].I also know that he attends church regularly and helps at the community centre near us[recently having his picture taken with Princess Ann when she attended the new opening day].This just makes me feel ill to be honest and that i should be doing or saying something to someone,somewhere.This must have been an awful experience for you,you did well to think of your kids first before reacting in a way you may of regretted later.It has dragged up painful memories for you so look after yourself and do what feels right.Take care.

sturll

Id just like to thank everyone who has posted. This really is a great and caring community so Thank you for your help/info and kind words.