Getting married: Advice needed on joint finances

zekepes

I have been married twice and we have always had totally joint finances.

with #1 our wages got paid into one current account and then we had a standing order go out to another current account which we called the expenses account. All the direct debits were paid in there and we also put in enough to cover annual or quarterly bills, too. They were both with Barclays. When we split we continued living together for a year and we then had separate accounts and each paid into the expenses account until our divorce was finalised. I moved out a couple of months before the house sold and exDH then took over the whole expense account and I ceased to pay anything into it.

with #2 (and last hopefully!) our wages get paid into a current account (HSBC) and all of our direct debits get paid out of that, too.

I have friends, generally older, who have separate accounts and one person is responsible for groceries and the other for the mortgage etc and I have no idea how they manage this!

Oh, and to add, with #1 our joint account was his account first and he just added my name to it. When we separated my name was taken off and I opened a new account, with the same bank. All very simple. We did have an amicable divorce though - not that you want to be thinking about that though! Same with #2 as well actually - our joint account was his current account first and we just added my name to it.

Mumstheword

We have always had joint accounts. All goes into the family pot, and all comes out of it.

We do have 1 account in my name...but only because we needed another account ands I was the only one there at the time lol! It's still joint money going in and out of it.

I really think separate accounts would cause us more harm than good. i gave up work to be a mum to our kids, and think I would resent the idea of having separate money. We both do our own roles to run the family, and any income and outgoings are a joint concern:)

bylromarha

Been married 9 years-got a joint account sorted straight after honeymoon. All goes in, all comes out. I do the day to day running of it-OH has the broader perspective!

Has worked when I was earning nothing, OH earning poorly, OH earning well, me earning well, me being SAHM.

As long as you have an agreed way on running the finances, and a similar attitude to finance, you should be fine. OH and I never make a big purchase (over £100 for him, over £50 for me) without consulting the other and taking time to think it through.

From reading your post, pooling your money, having an attached savings account to siphon excess money into and paying everything out of that account may work as well for you as it does for us.

Supergirl_3

I'm one of those who don't have a joint bank account. It's nice to keep some independance and it's in my maiden name too.

Also Whats mine is mine and what's his is mine too

It's a personal thing whether to have a joint bank account these days. It's great when everything is going well, but I know of so many couples who have split up and the women wished they had kept their own money seperate.

savvy

Well having been in a few relationships I'd say the set up we have at the mo is the best, we have a joint account for all bills and we've split this on like percentage of what we each earn, but add a little extra in to cover purchases for the house. Then we have seperate accounts for ourselves, once the joint D/D, and any other D/D's go out you know you can do what you like with what's left

Skippycat

My boyfriend and I live together and have quite similar wages. We share a joint account and each put the same amount of money into this account each month. The account covers the mortgage, utilities, food bills, xmas presents etc. We both also have our own separate bank accounts so that we both have independance and money to spend as we wish.

ailuro2

We have a joint account that everything goes into.

We have ISAs that we both know the details, passwords etc. for.

Everything is transparent, which is always the best way - no secrets.:D

When it comes to gifts we take cash out and buy that way, or ask the other one not to check the credit card statement until the gift has been given.

Becles

We kept everything seperate.

He moved into a home that I have owned for a number of years. He doesn't feel comfortable being on the deeds etc., as he brought no financial assets into the marriage and I've got a considerable sum tied up in the equity. All the household bills remain in my name apart from Sky TV and broadband which he pays for.

I also didn't want a joint account as my credit record is squeaky clean and his has been very bad in the past. I didn't want to be assosiated financially with him and risk my excellent credit record.

He's admitted he is pants with finances and wouldn't have a clue how to run a household budget. He is happiest sending me a chunk of his wages when he gets paid, then I deal with paying all the bills, grocery shopping etc. He knows what's left of his wages is his to spend on his own stuff, and he uses it to run his car, mobile phone and personal spending.

It works for us, even though other people have said it seems an odd set up.

OP - you're best off reading through everyones methods with your OH and deciding which way would suit you both best. It's a very personal matter and it needs to be something that works for you both without causing problems.

nikkinoo_3

When we bought our house DH and I earned similar amounts. We have our own individual current accounts but each put £1150 into our joint account to cover regular mortgage payments, £300 each month over payments, £400 joint savings and what's left covers utilities bills/food/joint socialising/household purchases/car etc.

If I go out with my friends I pay from my own account, likewise if I buy DH presents or buy presents for my family/frends. He pays for his famiy's presents (and presents for me, of course )

I manage the money, DH wouldn't even know how to access the joint account online. I'd like him to, in case anything should happen to me, but he's just not intersted. It works really well for us. Now that he has his own business and is earning far more than I do anything extra remains his own to do with as he wishes. He's very good though at 'treating' me to a night out or takeaway occasionally as he knows I don't have as much left at the end of the month as he does. He's also very good with his own money, and apart from the mortgage neither of us have ever been in any debt, and nor have we ever argued over money.

Becles is right - everyone has their own method of managing finances that works for them. Read through the posts and you'll find something that will work for you.

MiM

Thanks everyone, lots of food for thought. We'll have a good read of all this together.