Help! How much money to give as a wedding gift?

zekepes

I tend to give £30, £50 or £100 depending on how close they are/ how much I like them/ their circumstances (usually as gifts though!) and this is a gift from a couple who have a very comfortable joint income.

One thing that both my friend and I have noticed from our respective weddings (we both asked for no gifts but got them anyway) was that we both had one couple/person at each of our weddings (she had 150 guests, I had 23) who gave us nothing (fine, that is what we asked for afterall!) and in each case they were the richest people there (and in our case that person happened to be my new husband's sister and her husband!). Just for interest really! You would probably be surprised by the amount of people who are a lot better off than you that are also going to give £20 or less.

I think the suggestion of a 'voucher' to help them decorate their new home is lovely, maybe for one full day or something. In reality that is worth quite a lot of cash. As she is a close friend I would give her a ring and tell her that you feel quite embarrassed by the amount you can afford, and let her know of your 'voucher' idea to help instead.

TBH I think quite a few of the brides and grooms of late requesting money will look back and cringe. I can understand why they do it, but to use a wedding as a cash cow (I know they are paying for the day but guests are also paying for the day in terms out nice outfits, buttonholes, hotels, travelling which can really mount up) is, no matter how sensible, quite tacky IMO.

OOPS!! Just read that you have been already! Sorry!

Northern_girl_2

I understand why some people think being asked for money but I think it really depends on the bride and groom's circumstances.

I wouldn't be impressed if it were a couple that I knew to be relatively well off. However, I have friends who are getting married this year who have really struggled to pay for everything despite keeping the wedding very small.

It is only family and close friends going and the couple have asked (in a very tactful way) that guests either help in some way with the wedding or give money towards the honeymoon if they are able. Lots of different people have come forward to do things like the cake, photography and to DJ. I'm happy to give a bit of money towards the honeymoon and because I know they are as skint as me I know they will understand why it won't be a huge amount or that some people won't give anything.

Savvy_Sue

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curlychops

I got married last month and we too asked for money if anyone was wishing to give a gift. The majority gave money which ranged from £10 - £500 so just go with what you can afford, they wont think any different of you if you gave a smaller amount. Some chose not to give money and gave gifts which was also lovely as you actually had something to open and some chose not to give at all. which ever route our guests chose did not bother us in the slightest.

Little_Belle

I am afraid I am one of those asking for money - our reasoning behind it was that we have been living together for a while in a rented house, there isn;t anything we need for the home, and we didn;t want things that are going to sit and gather dust, we dont want people to waste their money on items that will never be used or will end up down the charity shop, to me that is a horrible waste of peoples hard earned cash.
However as I said we are currently renting, and what we have put in our letter we sent to everyone with the invites is that we have opened a savings account for a deposit on a house. We have made it clear we do not expect gifts from anyone and that all that matters is they are there, but in this day and age it seems like everyone has a gift list - but the only thing we wish for is to be one step closer to owning a family home.
I don't think we are being rude because it is for something potentially lasting a life time, we have worded it in such a way that those that cannot afford anything should not give anything but IF they would like to give a wedding present that is what we dream of.

I am the other side of the fence too as my best friend is getting married in september and her hen party has already set me back £150 and she has sent us the gift list from J Lewis and everything on there is expensive - knowing I am trying to pay for my wedding too this year I would have thought she wouldnt expect a gift but she is the other way and has made it pretty clear she DOES!

Sorry for long post

fatgit

Smashing wrote: »

If you don't feel comfortable gving money then don't - it's incredibly presumptuous and rude, not to mention tacky to ask for money. An invite to a wedding is just that, a request for your attendance, not an obligation to buy a gift or - esentially - pay your way by giving money. Anything given should be accepted graciously.

well said.

i'd be ashamed if one of my friends asked for money as a wedding gift