Help! How much money to give as a wedding gift?

lilmissmup

One of my close friends is getting married tomorrow and they have requested money rather than gifts to help do up there house.

I don't feel comfortable giving money and would rather get a present but it must be done.

I am pretty skint too as in debt, is £20 enough (i can't afford anymore would rather give less )?

Do i write a cheque or put cash in the wedding card?

Help?

Bella79

i dont know what the "proper" way forward is but i would write a cheque and pop it in card , If you carnt afford £20.00 then put less in im sure your friend wouldnt mind she will be more concerned that your there for her speical day x

starbump

If they are truly a "close friend" then they will know and understand your circumstances. It's not the size of the gift - it's the giving of it. Only put what you can afford - I think a cheque is nicer than cash. Or, maybe just write in the card an offer to help with the house - how are you at painting, etc?

barnaby-bear

lilmissmup wrote: »

One of my close friends is getting married tomorrow and they have requested money rather than gifts to help do up there house.

I don't feel comfortable giving money and would rather get a present but it must be done.

I am pretty skint too as in debt, is £20 enough (i can't afford anymore would rather give less )?

Do i write a cheque or put cash in the wedding card?

Help?

I work on the principle I like to pay what it cost for me to be there at the least and a bit of a gift if a friend.... generally £30-40 for a full do, £10-15 for an evening. You could always go, assess how many free drinks, buffet etc and handover a cheque covering your calculated value at the end Basically a decent night out and meal will cost you £20-30 but if they insist on a remote location, necessitate taxis/expensive accommodation, demand attendance to pricey, something I wouldn't do and time consuming (I hate that :mad: ) stag do then I reduce my gift commesurate to the cost to me...

onlyroz

I gave my brother £50 as a wedding present - but if he hadn't been my brother I'd probably have given less. I seem to remember spending about £40 on my friend, last year, on some towels.

If you don't want to give cash then don't - buy them something useful for the house. After all it's your gift, so you dictate the terms in which it is given.

Smashing

If you don't feel comfortable gving money then don't - it's incredibly presumptuous and rude, not to mention tacky to ask for money. An invite to a wedding is just that, a request for your attendance, not an obligation to buy a gift or - esentially - pay your way by giving money. Anything given should be accepted graciously.

morganb

I have a similar situation, our neighbours have invited us to an informal wedding with a 'wishing well', but at least in that situation you can just put an unmarked envelope in (well, that's what I'm going to do anyway!!)

MrandMrsEvans

I'm having the same problem. I'm going to an evening reception tonight at a wedding of an old school friend who i haven't really seen for a few years. i don't know what to give as they have asked for gift vouchers. I can't really afford more than £15 but feel that it might seem a bit stingy...

lilmissmup

Thanks for all the replies.

It is an hours drive away and i was going to have to book a hotel but my dad is going to give us a lift there and back as i couldn't afford a hotel too!

He is a close friend of mine so feel i have to give them something, i reread the invitation and it says you don't have to give anything and he does know my situation but still.

They have said they would rather not have gifts as already have everything they need.

Going to write a cheque for £20 and put in card but not very happy about it

barnaby-bear

MrandMrsEvans wrote: »

I'm having the same problem. I'm going to an evening reception tonight at a wedding of an old school friend who i haven't really seen for a few years. i don't know what to give as they have asked for gift vouchers. I can't really afford more than £15 but feel that it might seem a bit stingy...

Oh I think that's fine - for a bit of buffet and a disco it seems generous..... You are the B-list.:rotfl: I hate being asked for money/vouchers but it's no more obvious than with department store lists (they know who bought what and how much) and I can see why people don't want a huge heap of [STRIKE]tat [/STRIKE] other people's tastes.... We did a list but said it wasn't compulsory so we got a fair bit of naff clutter but it semed rude not to let people choose. Someone went off-list and gave use theatre vouchers and another cinema vouchers so a few months later we could have a free night out which I thought was really nice, didn't clutter up the house and gave us a night out when money was tight.

barnaby-bear

Smashing wrote: »

If you don't feel comfortable gving money then don't - it's incredibly presumptuous and rude, not to mention tacky to ask for money. An invite to a wedding is just that, a request for your attendance, not an obligation to buy a gift or - esentially - pay your way by giving money. Anything given should be accepted graciously.

I think this is true but if they haven't gone overboard and it's equivalent to night out I kind of like to feel I'm not the cause of a bit of debt to start their maried life... having said that we'd have hated people not to go or get themselves in debt because the felt obliged. I wouldn't give a bigger gift for someone else's extravagent tastes though...