Help! How much money to give as a wedding gift?

CB1979_2

i gave £50 (chipped in with 7 other mates to make £400) to my old school friend who i've known for 15 years, wedding cost him £20-25k, and me being there cost me about £500 when new suit & girlfrien's outfit taken into account, was there all day for ceremony, sit down silver service & then evening meal & free bar.

just been to my boss' wedding recently who i've known for about 10 years and more of a friend than a boss, giving £50 john lewis vouchers, I spent £50 for the hotel room & was an hour drive away, also spent £70 on drinks after his £1500 behind the bar ran out.

so that's my marker really, £50 regardless of what they've spent/I've spent.

the first wedding cost him about £400 for me & my girlfriend to be there plus the bar bill which i think was about £5k between the 125 people who went.

PeskyPenguin

Hi, I would think twice about writing a cheque if you are in debt and short of cash as the couple may take a while to cash it (especially if its to Mr & Mrs and they have yet to open a joint account!). I know someone who did this, forgot all about it and then the cheque bounced!

glossgal

I'm not a fan of giving money either but at recent weddings have just put money in a little envelope inside a card. The amount depends on how the money is asked for with me-one friend of mine was quite brash about wanting money so I only gave £20, another put a very tactful 'poem' in with her invitation so I didn't mind giving her £30. Unsurprisingly the friend who made the more polite request was more grateful afterwards and send a nice text and card whilst the other one...nothing!

webbie

Another option is to contact others you know who will be going and form a "kitty" - amounts donated will vary and each individual amount will be unknown.

Carrera74

I went to a wedding reception last night and they had asked for money. We haven't a lot of money going spare. Lots on this year with weddings, hen parties, birthdays, etc etc oh and our own wedding which we are putting all spare money to. I put a £10 note in the card and really wished I'd put more in but I couldn't afford it and I'm hoping they will be happy about it. My OH said £10 was enough but I still feel a bit awkward. Wish I'd gone and bought something neutral for their home now! Ah well.....

pinkshoes

I feel a right cheapskate and have only spent £15 on my mate's wedding gift!! (plus the £3.95 that Debenhams charge you for "postage"... they must make a killing on that, considering how many items will be bought, the probably shipped in one van costing no more than £50!!).

Then again, the hen do cost me £150, and the wedding will be another £250 and 2 whole days off work, so I see it as already having spent £400 + 1/10th of my holiday allowance on her!

It's the thought that counts!

Mrs_A_4

Last time I was skint I put a lottery ticket in the card. No point making yourself worse off, they won't remember how much everybody gives individually anyway!

bristol_pilot

This weekend we were invited to attend an evening reception only ('B'-list again!) and the invitation was accompanied by a photocopied sheet requesting money instead of gifts. This is from a couple who are really well off (two big houses, and 2 x Mercedes). I'm not sure if its rude or just tacky, but we're not going anyway, in which case we feel under no obligation to buy a 'gift' - problem solved!

To all happy couples - 1. wait for the guests to request the wedding list before sending it out and 2. if you don't want gifts (perhaps because you are merging two households) - do not ask for money (except from close family) as it is really tacky.

belfastgirl23

To be honest if they've been clear that they don't expect money I would take them at their word. Although I would insist on helping out in the new house (or the voucher idea above is a really nice one too!)

lilmissmup

PeskyPenguin wrote: »

Hi, I would think twice about writing a cheque if you are in debt and short of cash as the couple may take a while to cash it (especially if its to Mr & Mrs and they have yet to open a joint account!). I know someone who did this, forgot all about it and then the cheque bounced!

Have made a note to make sure it doesn't bounce, at least its earning interest whilst still in my account

The wedding was lovely, free drinks all day so don't feel so bad now