Advice re stepdaughter

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
18 replies 1.8K views
Newly_retiredNewly_retired Forumite
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edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
OH rarely talks about her, but I have just learned from him that his daughter has huge financial problems and in particular, is doing two jobs and only being "officially" employed in one, as the other employer pays cash.
None of my business I know, and it's treading on eggshells to talk about, but I'm sure all this will catch up with her one day, later if not sooner, especially as she is not earning enough in the one official job to pay NI.
I reckon she would be entitled to benefits but she won't apply as she doesn't want to have to cope with arrears of tax and NI.
Do I get involved or leave it alone?
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Replies

  • CB1979_2CB1979_2 Forumite
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    well as your fella isn't talking about it, it has nothing to do with you and he's not lending her money, then keep out of it.
  • Newly_retiredNewly_retired Forumite
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    Yes that is what I would normally do but THIS time for once he IS talking about it and he IS lending or giving her money.
  • whatatwitwhatatwit Forumite
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    Do you know how much she earns in the 'official' job, although is she isn't paying NI then it must be less than £100 per week.
    Have you looked at the entitled to website for her, to see what she could claim.
    If she was to give up the cash in hand job and not mention it, then there would not be any arrears to pay...not saying that it won't get found out down the line, but don't let her try and claim whilst continuing cash in hand and not declaring it.
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no: 203.
  • Newly_retiredNewly_retired Forumite
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    Not sure how much she earns. Not a lot as it is part time as she is also studying and doing voluntary work experience to improve her CV.
    She could perhaps claim WTC, and maybe Housing and Council Tax benefits.
    At present she cannot afford to give up the evening job in order to pay the bills. I'll try to get more details and work out a "better off" calculation. Then if my OH wants to pass on the info it's over to her. In the long term, I think it would be better to face up to any arrears and start with a clean slate. Trouble is this situation has been going on for quite a long time so arrears could be considerable. At 32 it's time she got herself sorted.
  • CB1979_2CB1979_2 Forumite
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    well sorry i'm not a mind reader, just went on what you posted ;)

    if he's talking about it, then give an opinion, if argues with you about it, then tell him you don't want to hear about it then.

    check on entitledto.co.uk to see if she is entitled to anything.

    lastly the only thing, i'd moan about to him lending his daughter cash is if it actually affects your money, if it don't then it really doesn't have anything to do with you, if he's happy doing it then let him get on with it.
  • MipsMips Forumite
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    She is his daughter - if he gives her money, he is doing so because he is her Dad and he loves her.

    I appreciate you're not her Mum.. but if I were you I wouldn't get involved. I presume you're not paying CSA... try to look at it as child support.

    Have a word with him... ok, she has a second job cash in hand.. she probably doesn't want to declare it because she may get taxed heavily?

    Just leave it between the Dad and his girl, unless it is affecting your life.

    Dads give their kids money, as do mums... thats what being a parent is all about :)
    :cool:
  • MipsMips Forumite
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    Not sure how much she earns. Not a lot as it is part time as she is also studying and doing voluntary work experience to improve her CV.
    She could perhaps claim WTC, and maybe Housing and Council Tax benefits.
    At present she cannot afford to give up the evening job in order to pay the bills. I'll try to get more details and work out a "better off" calculation. Then if my OH wants to pass on the info it's over to her. In the long term, I think it would be better to face up to any arrears and start with a clean slate. Trouble is this situation has been going on for quite a long time so arrears could be considerable. At 32 it's time she got herself sorted.


    But that is up to her. Not you.

    People make mistakes. Look on the other boards... people aren't having lightbulb moments until late in life... and 32 is young.. very young these days... 40 is the new 30!
    :cool:
  • MrsE_2MrsE_2
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    Dippychick wrote: »
    40 is the new 30!

    Oh, thank you:D :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

    I was saying that the other day.

    I;m a "new" 30.
  • MipsMips Forumite
    19.8K Posts
    MrsE wrote: »
    Oh, thank you:D :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

    I was saying that the other day.

    I;m a "new" 30.


    Of course it is... 30 yr olds are brats... :rotfl:

    40 is young these days... I don't care what anybody says!!!
    :cool:
  • LandyAndyLandyAndy Forumite
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    Dippychick wrote: »
    But that is up to her. Not you.

    People make mistakes. Look on the other boards... people aren't having lightbulb moments until late in life... and 32 is young.. very young these days... 40 is the new 30!

    I was 45. The important thing is to have the 'moment'.
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