Overcrowded! please help!!!

byrneand

olly300 wrote: »

You are making presumptions about how they got into that situation.

I know. But at the same time my observations of real life are that this is often the case. In exactly the same way as people thinking about whether they could aford a mortgage if interest rates to xyz. Another thing would be can I afford a child if xyz happened. There are extreme circumstances and events outside of our control that completely broadside people's decision but I really wish that more people would take responsibility for their actions.

There are a lot of people who make sacrifices to improve te quality of their life in the long run... delaying decisions until they are in a better overall position... working extra jobs or long hours. It frustrates me when people say you should be careful what your giving up (e.g. security of tennancy, low rent etc.)... These are the risks that the vast majority of us face. Rather than saying I can't believe I don't fit this criteria or that.. I beleive they should take hold of the situation in thinking how can I improve my skill level (experience/study/practical) or increase my earnings to get me out of this situation rather than placing a burden on the system.

It is our taxes that fund this system and I personally would rather see the money going on improving education levels or child healthcare etc. than supporting people who have made poor life decisions.

As you say I am making presumptions and don't know the OPs full situation. I apologise if this offends but I'm just massively frustrated with watching the standard of living, and moral values decline in the UK. I'm fed up of hearing people say poor me because of xyz. It is harsh, and not 100% of the case but a lot of the problems that people face are down to not thinking through their decisions and wanting short term fun/easy life/what the Jones have.

mummytofour

byrneand wrote: »

- Is one option to stop having children unless you're sure you've got stability and enough space.

just calling a spade a spade!

Tis the judgmental ones out again!!! :rolleyes:


You know the situation do you? The family maybe homeless because of ill health or job loss. Whatever the reason its not your place to tell the world how to live!! IN an ideal world everybody would have enough money and enough space but thats not always the case. Hopefully you will never be in that kind of situation and if you are I hope others show more compassion that you have.

LandyAndy

mummytofour wrote: »

I lived at one pint in a one bed with 2 kids, I had a sofa bed as it was the only way I could get some peace. I also have 5 kids ( one dd and a SEN ds both who need their own rooms plus another 3 boys ) in a 3 bed. It sucks but you make the best of it.

Have you tried all the swap sites?

I wondered where you got your username from.:rolleyes:

byrneand

byrneand wrote: »

As you say I am making presumptions and don't know the OPs full situation. I apologise if this offends but I'm just massively frustrated with watching the standard of living, and moral values decline in the UK. I'm fed up of hearing people say poor me because of xyz. It is harsh, and not 100% of the case but a lot of the problems that people face are down to not thinking through their decisions and wanting short term fun/easy life/what the Jones have.

....But in my experience, in probably at least 80% (if not more) of the times when this is the case it is decisions that they have made at one point or another in their lives.

People say I lost my job... sometimes this is the case and its terrible when its indiscriminatory (e.g. closing UK office) but in an awful lot of times it is because the person wasn't as good as someone else or didn't try as hard. The guy who always heads home early and generally takes the p*ss. You then hear the poor me story...

There is usually a rationale behind a dicision to fire one person and keep another.

It's the same when you see some kids in the parks etc... and others studying - I'm pretty sure the one's studying would rather be playing football or something but they are learning discipline and the idea of sacrificing a short term pleasure for achieving a long term goal.

If someone has xyz children or to leverage to the hilt to purchase an expensive house then this, in the main, is due to a decision that they have consciously made. I think in society we should help people who have made wrong decisions to try and turn things around but I don't believe that this support should be indefinite or unconditional.

byrneand

mummytofour wrote: »

I lived at one pint in a one bed with 2 kids, I had a sofa bed as it was the only way I could get some peace. I also have 5 kids ( one dd and a SEN ds both who need their own rooms plus another 3 boys ) in a 3 bed. It sucks but you make the best of it.
quote]

I'm really sorry but I don't know what "one dd and a SEN ds" means... sorry for my lack of abreviations/knowledge!

ginvzt

It is not easy. When I grew up, we were 3 children and my parents. We had two rooms - one for us (my dad also did some work from home, so he would work there - fixing TVs!!!) and one living room/my parents bedroom. We had a shared kitchen with another 6 families and shared shower room. (I am less than 30 and I do some from another country, EU). My parents had a sofa-bed in the living room and they slept there, we had a bunk-bed and a sofa bed.

Looking back I see it was hard and I wouldn't want my children to grow up like that, but those were the circumstances we lived like this. My parents are teachers and we couldn't afford anything bigger. Also, my dad was scared of mortgages. Although when I moved out (came to study to UK) they sold the flat and bought the house.:rotfl:

I am not trying to look for a pity or anything -I just what to say that it is do-able. Lots of families back home (even my friends who now have really well paid jobs) live in what her would be called '1-bedroom flat' and are doing just fine. Actually, they are not thinking to buy a bigger flat/house yet. Maybe in a few years time when children start going to school.

mummytofour

LandyAndy wrote: »

I wondered where you got your username from.:rolleyes:

Excuse me while i go and laugh my head off.:p

Alleycat

Whilst not overly convenient, its not exactly an intolerable situation nor unusual. There will unlikely be any loopholes apart from having several more children (not something I would advocate at all) to take you into their overcrowded category for further points/extra priority.

Practically, as others have suggested. At the moment your dd is only a baby so doesn't need loads of space in the bedroom as she can use the living room for play. When she is older, you can get a sofa bed for the lounge and sleep in there, whilst she has the bedroom.

SingleSue

We once had a 1 bedroom rabbit hutch like house which was fine for us when it was just me and hubby, then we had a surprise...yep we (well I) were expecting and by god was that a surprise bearing in mind we had been told there was only a million to one chance of having a baby!

Unfortunately, the pregnancy came at the time when the market was falling
(the 90's!) and our house was already in negative equity, the bedroom was just about big enough for a double bed and a bedside cabinet and the lounge didn't have enough floor space for a pull out/sofa bed.

We managed (just!) by having a small cot built to fit the bedroom once DS had reached an age where the crib was too small for him, ok this meant that the way for me to get into bed was to sort of throw myself from the door onto the bed but at least we could all sleep in the bedroom! :rotfl:

And I have no idea how big these Sq footage measurements are...whatever happened to 10 x 8 ?

moodydonkey

Me and my two girls lived in a box room for nearly a year. Because of previous I can't even get on to a housing list at the moment so to agree with an earlier post to come off one and rent privately would be mad.
Don't want to sound preachy but you have a roof and people that you love and believe me that is more important than anything. Best thing to do is just wait i'm afraid.