Letting go of old issues?

*niptuckfan*

im looking for some advice as i have been going over and over stuff in my head today! Without going into everything in too much detail i have a couple of issues in my life which are upseting and i find myself day in day out obsessing over them - they are to do with other people and totaly out of my control but i find myself going over old argumetns etc and i know that this is not productive but i cant help it. These people who i stress over are now out of my life completly and i do feel better for cutting them out but still find my mind wandering - my husband is of great support and agrees with me for cutting out these people who make me feel so bad in life - he says i should just forget about them as there is no changing fools but still im obsessing over it

any tips would be gratefully received

floss2

Why not write down everything that is in your head about these people, and then burn or shred it? It can help to physically "get it out of your head"....

basketcase

Always remember that if you continue to dwell on them they're still making you suffer. Don't give them the satisfaction! Every time you catch yourself thinking about the situations, try thinking "Oh no you don't!"

foreversomeday

Some alternative therapies can be good for this - like Reiki, Emotional Freedom Technique or even the more commonly "accepted" ones like acupuncture.

If you're not interested you're not interested though, I won't try to persuade you
Link: http://www.reikifed.co.uk/dirdb/mapregion.php

*niptuckfan*

thanks - your right they are still making me suffer and i bet they dont even give me a 2nd thought! i think i will write everything down

thanks guys x

*niptuckfan*

oh now foreversomeday i like your way of thinking! i am definately into become more spiritual i used to go to yoga and i am definately wanting to get back into it - i have heard of reki as there is a women who stays near me does it - what can you tell me??

McKneff

when you mither in your head, like the lady says do something positive, say
oh no you dont, or get up and make a coffee, do a crosword. and your right too, they probably dont think of you at all, dont make yourself ill over it because that where it will end. Make yourself the winner in this situation.
My phylosophy in life is that it is impossible to think of two things at once.
you have the choice to think about what your thinking - good luck to you

Sarahsaver

Ah good you have tried Yoga.
From a personal point of view Bikram yoga has sorted out SO much for me it is incredible!
next step - make sure it is 'serious' yoga, you know no footwear, no effing whale song music in the background, so you can REALLY focus just on the yoga and your breathing.
Meditate. If you can practise Yoga you can meditate and vice versa, they will both complement one another.

If you never let go of the past you will be like a dog chasing its own tail, going round in circles instead of looking at what's around you NOW. live in the present not the past;)

*niptuckfan*

you are so right! and i do know it in my head but recently have let myself get so obsessed i have lost my identity! there isnt a yoga class near me till after summer but i have noticed a tai chi in the local centre so think i will go to that next week along with some more excercise as i know i feel better with that. With regards to meditation i used to like that quiet end bit at yoga where you relax and let everything drift away but im not sure if i could really do that at home on my own - any tips?

foreversomeday

*niptuckfan* wrote: »

oh now foreversomeday i like your way of thinking! i am definately into become more spiritual i used to go to yoga and i am definately wanting to get back into it - i have heard of reki as there is a women who stays near me does it - what can you tell me??

Well my mum is a Reiki practitioner (Don't think I'm advertising by the way - she isn't actually listed on the site I linked to. It would be an unlikely coincidence that we lived near each other anyway!) and what I know about it is that it is holistic - so it heals the whole and improves the general state of wellbeing - instead of masking the symptoms (as medicine does, so you could say improving your diet or excercising has a holistic effect for example) - it will bring to the surface things you need to deal with in a gentle way and help you feel a lot calmer.

To be honest I can't tell you much about it as it really needs to be experienced - if I was you I would phone up the lady and have a chat with her. If she seems pushy to get you to make an appointment it might be best to try and find another practitioner, but she will probably be lovely and happy to chat, and most people will do a taster session for a reduced cost if you ask.

I decided to have Reiki every week since I became pregnant and although I didn't feel particularly trapped by old relationships etc it's amazing how much less I think of these people now and let them affect me - I even walked past my ex in the street the other day and didn't react at all which is not like me so I believe it has had an effect, even when I was not going for that purpose. It also makes my OH who is incredibly stressed actually calm down and he always says it feels like he's had 8 hours' sleep following a treatment. I notice the effects on other people much more than I notice the effects on myself but that's probably because I started having the treatments as I was experiencing a major life change anyway so it's harder to differentiate what has made the difference in my outlook and general mood. But for the record I've had an absolutely "perfect" pregnancy - no morning sickness at all, no stretch marks (yet ), no medical problems (apart from slight anaemia, which is diet related) and baby is in a good position and moves around loads.

foreversomeday

*niptuckfan* wrote: »

you are so right! and i do know it in my head but recently have let myself get so obsessed i have lost my identity! there isnt a yoga class near me till after summer but i have noticed a tai chi in the local centre so think i will go to that next week along with some more excercise as i know i feel better with that. With regards to meditation i used to like that quiet end bit at yoga where you relax and let everything drift away but im not sure if i could really do that at home on my own - any tips?

Could you find a local meditation group? I don't really know where to look for these other than my mum goes to one which she heard about through her local spiritualist church. If there is one near you perhaps you could pop in and look at their notice board?