Au Pair cost - 6month baby other dilemmas

whitewing

My DS is now 11 and had au pairs since he started school. Our au pairs have been great. However, I would not personally have an au pair for a child under 5. However good you are, take it from me, you can't spot a phoney.

I think you are right that young children need freedom to run and play, and it would be stifling if their main carer is unable to give them that freedom.

Up to 5 my DS went to nursery, and had a great time.

Best of luck.

BernadetteN

You really need to think hard about employing an au pair to look after any under 5 year old. Over the years, I have interviewed several thousand au pairs and can say at least half of them change placements in the first few weeks and I personally would only have employed a small percentage of those I have interviewed.

It sounds like you want a cross between a domestic servant and a nanny. Otherwise, I'd recommend a childminder. I don't think you are paying your current servant enough either.

Rachie_B

you need a live in nanny and not an au pair

pandora205

Others have commented on the employment aspects here so I'll just give my thoughts on the children's care. Your elder child needs someone who is going to interact and play, who enjoys spending time with her, sharing books and generally having fun. A baby will need a carer who communicates well and who notices their responses, who interacts during routine activities (such as meal times and changing). Both would benefit from some time with other adults and children... Your elder child is probably ready for a nursery at least for some of the time, as she will enjoy playing alongside her peers. The outside world is there to be explored and she will need supervision and encouragement to develop and practice new skills. Children of this age should not be encouraged watch television or DVDs although it is fine for short periods for a two year old when shared with an adult.

It's difficult to get everything to fit when you are working (I know - I had three under five at one stage) but the quality of child care is the most important thing. Talk to local parents, see what (and who) they recommend and explore all the options. And remember that at 3+ there is some funding for education, which may give you some flexibility.

Milky_Mocha

Some more excellent advice since I read this thread last, thanks again.

What I've decided (I think I mentioned in my last post), is to abandon the idea of an au pair. They'd likely be more trouble than they are worth. I'd take dd to nursery for the 4 days I'm at work so that the carer need only look after the baby. In the meantime the 2 days a week at childminder's (four other kids to play with whilst there and the activities they do and quality of care dd gets there is fantastic - outstanding ofsted rating) and the activities with me on Fridays, at the weekends and some weekdays with her Dad and I should suffice. The baby will be here soon anyway.

Her immigration status is not a concern, thank goodness, and as for her remuneration it is generous due to the 'benefits' afforded her as a result of being a distant relative known well to our family. e.g. we've been building up a stock of equipment for her to start her own casual trading and catering work so that when she leaves us she isn't left high and dry! ice cream maker, pie maker, blender and a few other gadgets accumulated so far at no expense to her. Like I mentioned she was hired under different circumstances and she feels so grateful for the extras and I believe a strong teason why she wants to stay for as long as possible. Cash in hand isn't everything to everyone, especially for someone like her. To be honest, financially, everything taken into consideration, she is better off than many people in this day and age who work professional jobs especially with today's huge mortgages!

I agree working out minimum wage would be difficult anyway. What percentage of her time with us is attributed to 'employment' and what percentage to the normal day to day duties you would expect of a previously retired person who is related and lives with you as a member of the family? Someone who you feed, clothe and provide for, be it for hairdressing and toothbrush costs or more substantial expenses? Hardly the grave concern of the internal revenue I would imagine!

Gosh, I do waffle! The main reason I'm posting is to humbly withdraw my use of the term 'elderly'! and of course to say thank you :-)

pandora205

That sounds like a better option if you have a good child minder, though having 4+ children would be quite a challenge for her I would imagine. She'll be aware of legal ratios so that won't be a problem.

I hope it all works out for you as I know it's a challenge to get the balance right. It does get easier (sort of) as children get older, or at least cheaper from the child care aspect.

Milky_Mocha

pandora205 wrote: »

That sounds like a better option if you have a good child minder, though having 4+ children would be quite a challenge for her I would imagine. She'll be aware of legal ratios so that won't be a problem.

I hope it all works out for you as I know it's a challenge to get the balance right. It does get easier (sort of) as children get older, or at least cheaper from the child care aspect.

I'm amazed at how she does it. I guess it is her years of experience. And she always manages to give such detailed reports at the end of each day. Importantly dd loves her and is always excited when dropped off, waving a cheerful goodbye! kids - sometimes I think parents worry more than necessary but somebody's got to!

Errata

Mocha - Personally, I'd pay her a living wage so she wasn't dependent on me for anything and could hold her head up high and plan for her future without wondering if and when I was going to chuck a few extra bob her way.
But that's my culture and how I show respect for other women.