Can you help me ? want to check see if my partner is telling porky's :)

redpoison

I am planning on moving in with my partner, having a bit of a problem though..

I am giving up my council house in wales to move in with him in leicester, he has his own house..

a bit of history, he had a house with his first girlfriend, who did the dirty on him and he then went bankrupt. Met another woman they rented for 6 year's then his mummy helped him to get this house (5 years ago now)..

She goes round there arms behind her back saying oh this needs doing daddy will be round tommorrow blah blah (parnter works 50 hours a week) Anyway she is a right control freak.... His sister who has nowt to do with her parents (ok just her dad), told me to be carefull she told me: Oh got mortgage for £65k mum and dad paid the rest, their names are on the deeds they own half of that house and oh is afraid to tell them to back off just incase she decides to say she wants to sell... (they bought house for sister and kicked her out when she was taking men home, and sold it).. mother realised she could not control daughter anymore so moved over to my oh!!

Anyway i have spoken to my oh who tells me this, he took mortage out mum and dad remortgaged their home to help him and to save on tax or something?, when they sold sisters house they paid their mortgage off, and their names are not on the deeds it is his house 100%, and apparently you cant have other peoples names on the deeds unless its your partner? (unless he is clueless)

not sure if i believe him? i can not talk about this to him again as he has said its none of my business? !!!!!! ? and its his house 100%, and he even said i sound like i am gold digging? !!!!!! we argued obviousley.. nothing else been said..

I have his baby and another child, we are not married!

I have always told him if we split i will come back to wales, its his house i wont take it away from him, and i wont i not like that.

his sister also told me, mummy got oh partner down the solicitors to sign to say she wont want half the house etc? they were goign through bad patch at this time anyway, she lived in their house for 2 weeks and left.. i been with him now for 4 years and am ready to move in..

could someone explain to me how his mum can remortgage her house to help him? would her name be on the deeds? and does this sound like she is on the deeds? his sister reckons no point me mooching around in his house cus all important paper work will be kept at their parents house so she can control it all?

Incisor

Sounds pretty bad. Does sis have an angle to want to control this?

You could go to the Land Registry and get copies of the deeds and sort out the question there. But, if the answer is that Mother controls all, you then tell OH that it's not on and you have a row ... Or if Mother does not control it, you've gone behind his back and then you have an awful trust issue to deal with - which is worse because Mother appears to be a control freak and now you are down the same path.

You have to confront him face to face rather than go behind his back. Whatever his reaction. But it sounds as though the arrangements are not stable for the long term.

milliebear00001

Surely if he tells you his other is not on the deeds and has no controlling interest in the property, then you should take his word for it? If not, why are you giving up your house to move in with him?!

As far as I know, you can add anybody's name to your house deeds, but I don't see how you can check without turning into some kind of control-freak yourself! It's not a great start to your moving in together for you to be checking his story behind his back.

If you say you will not make a claim on his property, then you should take his word for it that it is his - personally, if you are the mother of his child and are moving into his house to set up home, then I think you have every right to expect a claim on his property as it will become your, and your children's, home!

ryandj

Your OH parents may have given him the money towards the house in order to save on inheritance tax, as in giving him his future inheritance before they die. Many people do this nowadays. She might have had some equity in her house, so remortgaged the house to cash in on this, and then given your OH the money which he has used to buy his house. Her name could be but would not have to be on the deeds in this case. Although morally she may have helped him buy the house, I would imagine that in this case as her name is not on the deeds then legally she does not own any of the house.

If her name is on the deeds, and house deeds can be in several peoples names even if they are not partners or even if they are not related at all, then it is a different matter.

If you can't trust your OH on what he is saying then is it right to move in with him? That is for you to decide!

redpoison

Hey i do trust him, just when i said to his sister the other day i am dreading parents round doing stuff to the house when i am there!

like they knew i wanted to paint the kitchen from green, i was doing that on my next visit, but mother painted it green again and when i painted it color i wanted to she wrote oh a letter slagging me off, his sister told me all of that then which got me thinking oh nooo they have right over the house! i panicked simpy because i was afraid she would try control me too, and still come in and do things.

ryandj i think thats how she must of done it.

I know i would have right over his home, but i dont want to do that, if we did split (which we are not) i will come back to wales and just expect him to pay maintanence.

what do i do if his mum gets letter for me to sign like she did with his ex? oh wont say anything he never backs down from his mum, and this is why his sister was telling me (why she thinks).. he is such a !!!!!!

i have asked him to tell his parents to back off, he told me he will have a word and say that we will do any decorating etc, cus i am there now it can be done!

Toto

I honestly don't have an answer to the questions about your OH house but, my advice, is do not give up your council house unless you are totally 100% sure you will be in this relationship for a very long time. Your council home is your security for your children and you will have a hard time getting another. Please be careful.

redpoison

Toto wrote: »

I honestly don't have an answer to the questions about your OH house but, my advice, is do not give up your council house unless you are totally 100% sure you will be in this relationship for a very long time. Your council home is your security for your children and you will have a hard time getting another. Please be careful.

I have to i would be committing an affence not living here and living in leicester if it dont work out i will go back live with my parents, easier to get a council house in this area, so many come up on a regular basis. But i am not expecting to come back, we been long distant for 4 years now and its time we did it!

*jobags*

You felt secure enough with him to have a baby - i.e. create a new life, a PERSON who is totally dependent upon the two of you and your values for the first 18 years of their life. But it's ony when you are thinking of giving up a tenancy that you start considering about his past and his present and his future.
I would look to yourself first my dear

Easy come easy go - if it all falls apart you could always use your children to get yourself another tenancy

silvercar

Download the deeds from land registry and find out what is going on. Then you can decide whether the sister has her own reasons for "advising" you and what influence his mother potentially has.

Then set a few ground rules on whose home the house is and what visiting rights others have. Lay your stall out from the start so others know their place. That includes your OH, at some point it sounds like he is going to have to choose whether to break the apron strings or not, so be very clear on what living with you means.

milliebear00001

Redpoison - just a small point to add - you say you know you would have a claim on his house if you were living with him, but actually, legally you would have no rights to it at all. Morally (in my view) you should have a claim, but unless you marry him, you will have no legal rights to his property, even if you've lived in it for donkeys years. Be aware of this in case your views on what you're entitled to should change in future!

Treadmill

Sounds like you have trust issues that need resolving OP