Husband sold his property and didn't tell me! It's such a shock

Barbiegirl_2

Thank you to everyone who commented in a nice way. To those of you who were harsh and unhelpful you are the reason I chose to remove my post.

Steel_2

This is a forum where people put up questions and don't always get the answers they want. If they can't handle this they really shouldn't be posting in anonymous forums.

On the contrary, it is exactly where they need to come to get advice. None of us get the answers we want to the questions we ask because deep down we want everyone to say we are right. Family and friends usually agree with us to keep the peace or be nice, so forums are the best place to get the truth. But there is a way of doing it that doesn't offend or ridicule or hurt. And that's not been done on this thread

I thought your post to CB1979 was harsh

Nowhere in that passage did it say CB1979 judged her. I said it was easy for people to come on a forum and judge. It was a general statement.

You seem to have appointed yourself as the only person worthy of giving advice, what makes you so hot?

Where does it say that? I pulled up CB for being too harsh and ridiculing the OP. As everyone should do to ensure the boards are reasonably pleasant supportive places for people to come and tell us when they're hurting, when they're confused and when they can't talk to the real people in their lives because they are afraid. if they can't come here as well, where can they go?


By your own admission you've had MANY screwed up relationships. Do you really think this makes you qualified to give good advice?

Yes. I'm a shining example of what not to do. A collection of pitfalls for the unwary to learn from. A light in the fog of confusion that says;Over here. I screwed up on that before and this is what I learnt. Learn from my mistakes if you can but don't be afraid to go forward and make your own because I and many others on this board will hold you hand and help you through it

But equally someone who has no screw ups has valuable information to impart because quite clearly they've learnt to avoid the problems in the first place. If that's the case, I want to hold their hand while they lead me through the pitfalls and show me how to avoid them.

For the record I am married - 22 years. Like most marriages it takes effort, work and communication by both parties. Important issues are not discussed by text.

In your house they are not. Maybe in Barbiegirl's house they are, because it is the only means left to them at the moment and it's too painful to communicate in any other way. But find out first if that is the way they communicate regularly or whether it was a one off.

I am sorry if Barbiegirl is having a rough time at the moment but I am not in the habit of going back to look at peoples posts from last year to find out their situation and take a post at face value.

Barbiegirl mentioned in her original post that she had had marital probems before. It stands to reason she may have posted for help before - it may have been the very reason she first came on here - and it saves having to ask her to go over many things that have already been covered in previous threads.


The sale (or non sale) of the property needs to be discussed face to face to establish the truth and the reason behind the actions and to see what the wider implications of the situation are.

Clearly. But I take exception in the way it was pushed in her face so abruptly and without care. If someone is having it rough, be kind when you're being truthful. Or what happens is what has happened - they disappear, delete their post and are too afraid to come back