Deciding whether to go into full time work with a 3 year old! help!

McKneff

sorry cant agree with most of your advisors, although 3 days at work and
2 days at grandmas sounds not too bad. You said in your original post
about 'memories' that was the crux for me. no good just having quality time
with your son at weekends, he needs you during the week too. something else you need to think about. your comments about your oh not giving a toss sounded warning bells. will he help with the day to day housework, cooking etc. does he help out now or will he still expect the house to be cleanded and meals on the table. it will be hard even if he does help. Good luck

Paparika

Floxxie wrote: »

They'll have to be. Many places have a certain number of 'family days' and failing this the OP could use holiday or take unpaid leave. You cannot discriminate against somebody just because they have a family and may need to look after them.

The OP is probably already dealing with this. If her child is ill on one of her work days. Going f/t isn't going to change this.

Floxxie

OMG i've been sacked from so many jobs because i took too much time off to care for my DS, the bugs coughs and colds they get from nursery to primary school is amazing, i still sent him in and if i got a call to take him home then i would go get him as i didnt have anyone to help me.

shirlgirl2004

My DD is almost the same age as your son but I personally wouldn't dream of sending her to nursery full time. As her mum I can give her so much more than a nursery can. Nothing beats sitting on the sofa and reading, getting covered in glue and sticky bits whilst making models and all the other things I've done this week with my DD. In 18 months he'll be at school and there'll be time to further your career plans. Its just my opinion and I know that there are many people that disagree.

I know my DD enjoys a few hours with her friends at preschool and then even more hours with her mum and sister. Why the need to get them to grow up so quickly? He'll change so much over the next 18 months and by the time he's 5 he'll be ready to spread his wings and spend more time away from you.

Just my opinion and I hope whatever you decide works out well for you.

**dancingbutterfly**

anniehanlon wrote: »

sorry cant agree with most of your advisors, although 3 days at work and
2 days at grandmas sounds not too bad. You said in your original post
about 'memories' that was the crux for me. no good just having quality time
with your son at weekends, he needs you during the week too. something else you need to think about. your comments about your oh not giving a toss sounded warning bells. will he help with the day to day housework, cooking etc. does he help out now or will he still expect the house to be cleanded and meals on the table. it will be hard even if he does help. Good luck

he does help if i go on and on and on and on at him, even then its only washing up. hes been pampered by his precious mummy who always done everything for him, even when he was 25 when i met him she was making his bed for him doing washing etc!!! :mad: (of course he still lived with her) but i have taught him how to look after himself. he a lovely bloke but hes just so quiet and quite ignorant. the complete opposite of me!:p i met him when i was 18 and i fell pregnant 3 months later:eek: (i was on the pill btw!) so we just had to get on and try and bring our son up as best we can. we've had to get to know eachother as our son grows really! now im 22 and i want to have a career really, i suppose 18months is nothing when ive been waiting 4years. but my littl'un is the best thing in the world and i would be nothing without him.

thanks again for everyones advise;)

x x

Floxxie

Paparika wrote: »

OMG i've been sacked from so many jobs because i took too much time off to care for my DS, the bugs coughs and colds they get from nursery to primary school is amazing, i still sent him in and if i got a call to take him home then i would go get him as i didnt have anyone to help me.

It depends what years you are talking about. A lot has changed even since I had my son 7 years ago and there are additional laws and rules to protect women (and men) in this position. If you ever find yourself in this predicament again, take legal advice.

To those who have commented on whether the OP should work at all - this isn't the dilemma the OP raised - she already works and wants to know whether it would be beneficial to work full time. I have made the comments I have because I have done the various arrangements. At this stage in my life I shall be staying at home but I don't believe that this is most beneficial for my children; it is only because I cannot afford childcare for two children and my OH works funny hours, that is preventing me from going out to work.

And I am sure that the OPs OH is not the first man 'to not give a toss'. I guess that is why she has come on here to ask for support and advice in her decision making.

Floxxie