Dont know how to get through the day

toria27

Hi all, Just need somewhere to put my feelings down really but any advice on ways of coping is always appreciated. I just feel that at the moment every time something good happens to me it ends really badly.

Firstly my wedding on 7th June started off great it was a perfect day until my brother (who i dont talk to due to his violence towards me) started a fight with the master of ceremonies and receptionist, he trashed the hotel tried to hit my father in law and damaged my new husbands shoulder as he was holding him down. He got arrested and I spent my wedding night in tears, it ruined the memory of the wedding for both of us and the wedding ended early. All of this was in front of his 3 young children who were devestated, it is the last time my parents make me invite him to anything.

Around the time of the wedding we started trying for a second baby and found out on the last day of our honeymoon that I was pregnant again one of the happiest days of my life, this ended in a miscarriage on Sunday, I had a scan on Tuesday which confirmed it was a complete miscarriage. I am of course devestated and not coping very well at all dont know what to do to get through the day. I am off work until Monday and have no one to be with which makes it worse, I was hopeing to spend the day with my mum today but she rang yesterday to say they had decided to go on holiday and dont know when they will be back but has bought me the new slimming magazine!

i feel so alone and empty I want my baby back so much it was so awful to feel it dying inside me. I cant stop thinking about the last day of our honeymoon and how that memory is now filled with grief.

Thanks for listening x

Keeping_Motivated

Nothing much to say to make it feel better but I didn't want to read and run. Take time to grieve, I know it hurts but you have lost someone, its a bereavement and that takes time to heal and move on from so don't be hard on yourself, understand why you feel so low but I hope you are able to lean on your OH and get each other through your loss.

Take care
KM x

MERFE

It sounds like you have had a really bad few weeks, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone with how you are feeling. 2 weeks ago I had a missed miscarriage and for a while I just wanted my baby back and couldnt really concentrate on anything else. I really don't know how I would have coped without my mums and husbands support for the last couple of weeks. Although my husband didnt do much whilst he was home I didnt want to be alone either. My husband and I have decided to try again in about a year and this decision has really helped me come to terms with what has happened.

I'm also a member of another website netmums which has some a fantastic forum and a section for mothers who have miscarried or lost a child and the support on there is brilliant.

toria27

im so sorry for your loss. unfortunetly i dont have the support of my mum and we can not afford for my husband to be off work. I do not get paid sick leave where I work and we have £1000 bill due on 14th August and I have no idea where to get the money from.
I think i would be a bit better if i had had someone to be with but Monday was the worst as it is when I lost the baby fully and was sat crying for the whole day I dont think i stopped at all. im just counting down the hours until my husband gets home so i dont feel so alone again

misty

I'm so sorry for your loss. you have had a series of terrible things happen. You need time to come to terms with what has happened. Could you speak to your doctor and try to arrange some counselling?

toria27

i dont think i would be offered any help as i think the doctors will just say it has only just heppened come back in a few weeks if you feel the same. i dont have much faith in my doctors. i also feel that some people will think i am too upset and that they dont see it as a baby as it was early but to me it was my child and I wanted it so much

scruffy96uk

I don't really have any sound advice but a good hug never goes a miss

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

MERFE

oh it is awful that you are going through this on your own. We also have money worries so I understand that you dont need any extra stress at the moment, we were not sure if my partner was going to get paid for the week he had off work as he had only just been taken on but I needed him home with me more than anything. He did struggle with that and wanted to get back to work. I hated the thought of things going back to normal and wanted to just get away from everything. Instead now I just try to keep as busy as possible. Maybe going back to work will help take your mind off it, I still get teary at times its a really sad thing to happen and I know I'll struggle around Christmas and New year when the baby was due. It really helped me to talk to people about how I felt and what was happening so if you need someone to talk to you can always pm me x

katiekittykat

scruffy96uk wrote: »

I don't really have any sound advice but a good hug never goes a miss

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

here here i was going to say the same.

Lots of love and hugs

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

floss2

Contact these poeple: http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

They will understand and be able to support you when your husband cannot be with you. They also have local support groups.

:grouphug:

Love Floss xx

katiesmummy

i'm so sorry for your loss. i have been through this myself and i know it isn't easy.
do you have any friends that you could get to come over and sit with you for a while, even if its just to make the tea? you might feel better just having someone in the house that you can talk to if you want iykwim.

i agree with floss about the misscarriage association- try and find your local support group and pop along when you feel up to it.

oh and (((((hugs)))))