Depression Support Thread

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I hope you are ok,went to Dawlish Warren and it rained all afternoon :eek: I got a bit soaked as well,so when I got home I had to have a bath I relaxed tonight watching television and I will be going to bed soon to sleep and tomorrow night is my presentation night when I get my certificate

welcome blue-sea to the thread,post as little or much as you like


*hugs* to those that need one

love and light,

Katie xxx

Diamond78

Thank you FG and Alba. I do feel a bit better now. Its strange to know that we are have certain and different things in common. Sometimes it feels like your the only person who is going through that difficulty or emotion. In a way its nice to know Im not going loopy and im not the only going through it on the other hand its sad that others are feeling or suffering the same way as its not nice.
FG, sorry to hear what you went through at train station.Thats terrible. Well Im certainly never travelling on the bus again at that time and place. I had to walk past the spot where someone got stabbed nd died recently, I was nearly pysically sick, then the man on the bus. Like you the bus was packed. No one askedif i was ok even though you could see the terror on my face. I always tell my son not to stare at ppl as its rude but bless him, him being 6 and finding the man strange he looked at him coz the man kept making strange noises, the man started asking my son qustions.I have really got to restart my driving lessons so i dont have to put up with public transport.I hate it, makes me so anxious and nervous.Thank you for being kind.
Alba, sorry to hear you had to fight the school till you was proven right. Im sorry you have had to go through all that. My son is only 6 and your son a tenager, I feel for you as you have gone through it longer.Wow, you should be really proud of yourself.
The teacher also reckons my son has a speech problem. I have told them that since ds was in reception. He saw a speech therapist every year and they said he is fine, in may was his last check and he was fine but teacher says his not. Anyway will see what his psycologist(spelling) says when he next sees her.

Its so awful how these professional ppl make you feel bad and guilty when clearly things beyond my control where the factor to our moves and me being a single parent.

As for the course, I will write to the college and ask for a refund. If they say no, I will see if there is another course I can do while DS is in school. It would mean more assesments and exams which is hard lol..

DS is still awake, he is having trouble sleeping too. I go up to bed with him every night but he wont sleep. I bath him, read to him but he just lys down awake in bed, I try ignoring him but he doesnt even dose off. That could also be affecting him but his been like this months now.
Am going to watch shameless on E4 i think it starts at 10 but have to wait for ds to sleep as he wont let me leave him alone, he gets very scared.
Hugs xx

alba37

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

I hope you are ok,went to Dawlish Warren and it rained all afternoon :eek: I got a bit soaked as well,so when I got home I had to have a bath I relaxed tonight watching television and I will be going to bed soon to sleep and tomorrow night is my presentation night when I get my certificate

welcome blue-sea to the thread,post as little or much as you like


*hugs* to those that need one

love and light,

Katie xxx

All the best for tomorrow Katie, when you receive your certificate.

Hope you sleep well.

A x

alba37

Diamond78 wrote: »

Thank you FG and Alba. I do feel a bit better now. Its strange to know that we are have certain and different things in common. Sometimes it feels like your the only person who is going through that difficulty or emotion. In a way its nice to know Im not going loopy and im not the only going through it on the other hand its sad that others are feeling or suffering the same way as its not nice.
FG, sorry to hear what you went through at train station.Thats terrible. Well Im certainly never travelling on the bus again at that time and place. I had to walk past the spot where someone got stabbed nd died recently, I was nearly pysically sick, then the man on the bus. Like you the bus was packed. No one askedif i was ok even though you could see the terror on my face. I always tell my son not to stare at ppl as its rude but bless him, him being 6 and finding the man strange he looked at him coz the man kept making strange noises, the man started asking my son qustions.I have really got to restart my driving lessons so i dont have to put up with public transport.I hate it, makes me so anxious and nervous.Thank you for being kind.
Alba, sorry to hear you had to fight the school till you was proven right. Im sorry you have had to go through all that. My son is only 6 and your son a tenager, I feel for you as you have gone through it longer.Wow, you should be really proud of yourself.
The teacher also reckons my son has a speech problem. I have told them that since ds was in reception. He saw a speech therapist every year and they said he is fine, in may was his last check and he was fine but teacher says his not. Anyway will see what his psycologist(spelling) says when he next sees her.

Its so awful how these professional ppl make you feel bad and guilty when clearly things beyond my control where the factor to our moves and me being a single parent.

As for the course, I will write to the college and ask for a refund. If they say no, I will see if there is another course I can do while DS is in school. It would mean more assesments and exams which is hard lol..

DS is still awake, he is having trouble sleeping too. I go up to bed with him every night but he wont sleep. I bath him, read to him but he just lys down awake in bed, I try ignoring him but he doesnt even dose off. That could also be affecting him but his been like this months now.
Am going to watch shameless on E4 i think it starts at 10 but have to wait for ds to sleep as he wont let me leave him alone, he gets very scared.
Hugs xx

Thanks Diamond. I'm pleased to see you sounding a wee bit better already. You're really not alone. And please post what you want when you want. Also as FG said, you can pm anytime too.

I said write to the college as I find it easier to write, I'm not good at phone calls or any kind of confrontation, but you do what suits you best. Just don't let it go without trying to get a refund.

Hopefully you'll son will soon grow out the getting off to sleep problem, sounds like you're doing everything possible to help him sleep.

I really hope you sleep better tonight, things aren't so bad when we get a good rest.

A x

blue_sea

Diamond78 wrote: »

Awww thanx hun. I felt I was coping really well and I was. I sppose I will pick up in a few days time. Rather than feel sorry for myself and worry myself like I usually do, im going to try and sort myself out bit by bit. I feel people, not on here but ppl i know in general expect to much of me. They seem to forget im a lone parent and have no family here for support. Im going to look into another course, atleast i tried. Thanx again QB.x

Hi Diamond

I'm in a similar boat - lone parent - no support, how do you cope?

Tulip

I am off now,

chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

alba37

I'm off now too, night night everyone. Sleep well.

A x

queensway_boy

Night night,i'll put the milk bottles out after i've just


......................................................................

LadyMorticia

Welcome to the thread blue_sea.

*hugs* Diamond.

Good luck for tomorrow Katie.

I'm off to bed now. I have a big day tomorrow.

xx

Horasio

I need some clarification from you all.

I don't know if it is because I am feeling trapped in with my leg and cold but I am worried about the direction my life is taking.

We are going to be evicted from our house in September and househunting.

My OH has decided to take time off from working in order to set up a business. We sold our house and the interest is paying for our expenses. So far we have gone out on day trips - which we planned to do and settle in - to be expected.

In the last 3 weeks our lives have been revolving around helping my mother visit my step father in hospital - he is old and we have been willing to help her. This leaves very little time for my OH to work on his business. I hurt my leg the other day and he is having to do the driving and do odd jobs for us both.

We are grateful for what he is doing but and I am going to sound horrible now, he makes me miserable. I dare not get too happy as he sits there with a face as long as a fiddle and feel I am not good enough. I am trying every method I know to keep myself optimistic and cheerful but feel my mood drain away when he gives me a certain look. It seems like he is hell bent on bringing me down till I crack.

I know he is tired from looking after us all and trying to set up his business. He used to be tired all the time from working hard at work, which is fair enough and it is not easy for him now.

What upsets me is when things are less hectic he is still tired all the time and always has been since I can remember and even when things are going OK he is withdrawn and limp. I don't think he has the oooomph to set up a business and feel he is getting too old to find a decent job.

I try to talk to him about it and it ends up in a row. There are many things that are right but there is this one thing that upsets me to the core. I feel deflated a lot of the time and have to be in a supremely strong mood to not let him get me down. If I am ill or unwell, it bothers me far more and it depresses me. I feel I have to watch my mood for my own protection, that I will get upset by him. I get scared to get too happy or too ill. I don't feel this is right. I should be free to be up and down without fear.

You might say I am free to leave, this means I will have to live somewhere less nice and noisy. I can't stand attached properties and noisy neighbours. I have had my fill of this in the past for a long time and can't bear the thought of being near noisy inconsiderate people.

We can get a nicer place if we stay together but he will only spoil it. I want to help him with the business but every time I try, I feel deflated and bought down and go into a depression and goto my room to recover.

I cannot face him in the morning as he used to be all over me and I can't stand that when I first wake up, so have facilities to use till I am up to seeing him. He used to cry aggressively when I said back off. He is better now but have a fear of seeing him before I come round.

I don't know how to stop the deflation. Am I oversensitive? My mother says I am. I want to talk to her but feel she will try to control me. She gets odd with me sometimes just for asking for her to be kinder to me. She went off in a huff in the middle of the A&E waiting room when I asked her to keep cheerful so I could cope.

I have lost a lot of confidence over the years. I have been very needy towards any friends I have made and probably pushed them too far. I end up running back to my OH or mother as I have been hurt by the outside world. I feel I can't trust anyone. They either don't care or they want to control me if they show kindness. I was a bully's dream when I was younger. My OH gave me confidence to be more aggressive and sometimes assertive when I met him. I don't feel the need to be as aggressive but a lot of my anger stems from feeling angry at him.

I don't know what I can do to make a living and can't work whilst I live with my OH as coming home to him after work is another job in itself and I can't cope with that when I am tired.

He does do most of the phone admin as he has the patience to talk to Indian call centres and idiot garages - our car has been a nightmare since day 1.

I don't feel he is effective with our son and our son has become spoilt and uncaring. I used to get shouted at when I tried to discipline our son, so was undermined. This has gone on for 4 years. My mother is the same. They both moan he is not growing up yet don't do anything about it and undermine me. I feel sick that our son has done stupid things and I have had to sit there and watch it go on without any support from my family. I know kids make mistakes but feel had our family been stricter he would have had less hassles.

The other night he got really drunk and involved my mother who needed to rest in the evening. I don't know the full facts but he hasn't been drinking since but feel she bribed him into stopping for a while. She is paying half his rent when we move out so hopefully she might have some good influence. Between the age of 1-5 she had a lot of influence over him as she babysat for us.

My instinct is to run away and get my own place whilst we can afford to. My fear is not being able to maintain it financially and end up back with my OH or be lonely as I am quite shy and a loner. I also feel scared my mother will mess me up again if I am alone. I don't have any friends I can lean on during this tough time, so too scared to go it alone in a new place.