Advice please-teenager smoking

traveller

ShockingPink wrote: »

That reminds me of when my teenage cousin's bedroom (in the newly converted loft) was accidently set alight. My uncle explained that Martin had been smoking while doing his homework, and left a lit ciggy on his desk... I said, "I didn't know Martin smoked" and my uncle replied, "Neither did we till the fire brigade arrived!":rotfl:

LOL!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

shelley_crow

I was put off smoking for life when i was six years old. I was visiting my granddad (a lifelong smoker) in hospital as he was dying from lung cancer, seeing him hooked up to morphine was terrible. I've never touched cigarettes because i've never felt the need.

Having said that, my mom smoked since she was 17 and even seeing her own dad dying didn't put her off. Once it's a habit it's the hardest thing to shake (apparantly). I had a permanent smokers cough until i moved out of home and into a clean air environment.

Depending on how your talk with your son goes, you may have to shock him into quitting by showing him the what smoking will do to him in the long term. x

CB1979_2

nothing like innocent until proven guilty,

to be honest he was probably more relieved you didn't find his porno stash! lol

you found a few cigs, no big deal you're certainly not gonna be able to stop him if he really wants to smoke, peer pressure is usually a much bigger pull than mum shouting.

you wash his clothes, if they don't stink of cigs then i very much doubt he's "smoking".

you've even said you tried it yourself, bit hypocritical to fly off the handle.

it could be worse, he could be going out getting lashed and causing havoc/fighting, etc.

Lainie75

My Mam went through the same thing with me and she tryed everything from talking to me about the dangers to grounding , pleading and banning everything but nothing worked i started at 13 and packed in at 29 , i'm now 33 and i have my smell and taste back.
Anyway a friend of mine saw my 13 yr old son with his mates he had a cig in his hand , i conforted him and he said he was just holding it for another friend whos dad was going past at the time (likely story huh lol) i told him about the dangers etc and how disappointed i would be if i found out he was lying etc he promised he wasnt and assumed he'd gotten away with it but of cos i became detective (as every mother has to) he would come in with chewy or mints which he thought would take away the smell but he forgot about his hands which stank og cig smoke he couldnt deny it , i , like my mam did with me , tryed everything to stop him nothing worked a year later he was smoking a sly cig in his room with a friend when he heard me coming up the stairs in a panic to get rid of the cig he tryed to toss it out his bedroom window but the wind blew it back in without him realising and his duvet caught fire luckily we were able to put it out but i dread to think what could of happened , so after another hart to hart (and there were many) with him i told him i did not want him smoking in the house and i did not approve of him smoking but that if he really needed a cig when he was home than he could go to the back door and this is the way things are now and hes 15 , i wish he didnt smoke but i have to face the truth and so i thought i'd do it the safest way i can.

good luck i hope he isnt smoking or you can stop him.

RedBern

had same problem with my son when he was 15/16. Stopped giving him any pocket money once we found we were obviously giving him too much money as he could afford to set fire to it! I'm sure your son knows all the dangers and what an addictive substance tobacco is. Speak to any smoker and they'll know that 1 in 2 smokers will die prematurely of a smoking related illness - but you can bet your life it won't be them! My son eventually gave up last year when he was 19 - helped by the smoking ban in pubs (mainly because he is too idle to get up off his backside to walk outside to smoke - I kid you not). However, since then, his skin is lovely, he doesn't have spots and he looks great. Try not to nag (I did and it didn't work!) - give him the facts (how much money it will waste etc) and leave him to make his own decision. oh, and no smoking in the house.....

Mrs_P_Pincher

In my experience the best way to stop teenagers smoking is to get the ashtrays out and let them do it in front of you. That takes away the 'forbidden fruit' aspect and makes it NO FUN AT ALL!

It's a bold move, but it worked for me.

Mrs P P

trace_567

Ok you and others might not like this idea at all, but I have heard that it has worked.
Now I'm a smoker and wish I'd never started, so obviously it is best to try and get it stopped before it becomes total addiction.

Anyhow. Suggestion is if you do actually think he has been/is smoking go out and buy a packet of cigs (non of ya super light ones either). Then make them smoke everyone (pack of 10 I'd suggest not the 20). Basically sit them down and make them chain smoke the whole pack. It will actually make them feel sick as hell.
Believe it or not this is what my grandmothers dad did to her many years ago, and she said she has never ever smoked again. I've also heard other stories that it works.

At that age he won't be a heavy smoker, so forcing him to smoke firstly takes away the forbidden fruit, second likely make them associate smoking with feeling really ill. Key to it working is that literally the moment one cig is finished they must start on the next, till either they feel mighty ill. Obviously if he has any medical reason why this would be dangerous don't do it.

Personal choice on this one of course, some may really hate the idea.

Idiophreak

traveller wrote: »

He claimed the ciggies were bought round by his friend who stays over on the odd occasion and they both tried them, didn't like them and he isn't a smoker:rolleyes:

Tbh this sounds quite believable to me...

Unless you have other reason not to trust him, I'd just get rid of them and make sure you keep a close eye (or nose) on him in future.

Gingham_Ribbon

I have lost several people close to me through cancer and that didn't stop me smoking. Neither did my parents' disapproval.

I'd get some information about the effects of smoking for him to read, warn him there will be punishments if there are ever any in the house again and hope he has some sense.

Actually, I'd probably kick his bum all the way up the stairs and ground him for a week, but I know that's not the sensible thing to do...

ameliarate

As a smoker I would have done anything to make sure my daughter didn't start. When she was about 13 my partner (who was an ex-smoker) sugggested that they both had a cigarette because, if it was good enough for mum it was good enough for them. He lit one for her she took one puff and then spent half an hour washing her mouth out. She asked me if she could try one when she was about 15, same thing. She is now 19 and absolutely hates the smell and I am 99.9% certain she will never start.:j

Banning your son from having friends round, etc will almost certainly not work.

An honest, open, "grown up" up conversation about the costs, the smell, the health effects, ending with "it's up to you but never in my house" is the best way and, as you are not going to fund his smoking, he should bring receipts for anything he spends money on and you will then refund, until such time as he is earning his own money.