Are YOU responsible for your spending & debt?

GhostHunter_3

Situations change and many people who were once responsible borrowers become irresponsible through no fault of their own (redundancy, ill health, government price hikes etc etc). Trouble is many people live for today and not in the future. Its all to tempting to get that quick fix loan or credit card instead of saving the cash for the said item (or maybe having the cash get a loan or credit card and use that ear marked cash for something else instead of repayment as originally planned).

I am in debt but am not an ostrich and am trying to improve it its my debt and my problem but the only help I get is from MSE'ers or reluctant lenders!

PROLIANT

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

Proliant, that's fine. I knew you were generalising. But it is true, it is greed and keeping up with the Jones's. I live in an affluent area and everybody has posh houses and flash cars. I don't, but for years I felt I had to live that lifestyle. I have a small house and an old car - and I don't care now what others think about it but before I did. Society has a lot to answer for. I've now stopped shopping in Waitrose and Sainsburys and now shop in Lidl. My neighbours see me carrying my Lidl bags and I can almost picture the look of shock on their faces...I know for a fact that they are struggling with their mortgages whereas I'm not so they can mock as much as they like.

There is nothing wrong with Liddle, it is in fact as good if not better than tesco, Sainsburys etc because the food is actually european and has less rubbish in it, the bargains are brilliant, I also shop at Liddle when I can although it is cheaper for me to go to tesco as it is within walking distance unlike Liddle which is about 3 mile away so it would mean bus fares, just because you dont comply with society in terms of as you put it "keeping up with the jones's" does not make you a reject or less of a human than they are, in fact it makes you more of a "real person" not just a materialistic person obsessed with their own self importance, at the end of the day we all came into the world they same way and we will all leave it the same way to, lets just try and enjoy life a bit but not at the expense of others, so you keep shopping at Liddle and show those over-comitted jones's what they are missing out on in life by lining the pockets of their upper class peers. :beer:

warwickroadroad23

A lot of the problems stem from a change of attitudes.

When I was young (not that long ago, honest) if you wanted something you saved for it. Now we just bung it on a credit card and worry about it later.

A nation obsessed with "things" instead of what really matters.

warwickroadroad23

PROLIANT wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with Liddle, it is in fact as good if not better than tesco, Sainsburys etc because the food is actually european and has less rubbish in it, the bargains are brilliant,

I used to work in a college and we had some Scandanavian students over on work experience and we went to Lidl one day. They told us that the brands they sell in there are just their big named brands over there, it's not cheap stuff, like some people assume.


It always amused me when people sneered at Kwik Save too, they sold the same brands as all the other shops, just at a cheaper price!

:T

PROLIANT

As a nation, why don’t we all put down the tools for a full week, head for the countryside on foot, bike, train whatever, leave the mobile phones, leave the laptops, sat navs, PDA's, "AMEX Black Centurion" poser card and the fancy cars and just take a deep breath and have a think about where we want to go next, in terms of a society. Weather you are from "wealthy stock" or like my self from the suburbs of Newcastle Upon Tyne, we are all just the same biologically, mentally different but we cry when upset and bleed when cut so take away the mobile phones, laptops, sat navs, PDA's, "AMEX Black Centurion" poser card and the fancy cars and what do you have left? Oh sorry I forgot to mention the annual membership at the "funny handshake club" too.

continualdiamond

For my OH and I yes/no to us being responsible for our debt. We had no debt when we moved in together and thus between us have ranked up £22,000.

To begin with i say the bank is responsible for starting us off with debt. We were living in a mobile caravan, horrible, horrible place. We needed what i now see as a tiny sum of £800 for mths rent in advance/bond.

We wanted a £800 overdraft, bank said no, but gave us a £4,000 limit credit card. Now looking back to me that beggers belief on how that was responsible lending.

£800 to be used on exactly what we wanted, no more and the credit would of vanished.

£4,000 obviously covered the £800 we needed and god knows what the rest of the money went on.

Fast forward 2 years, house move from renting fully furnished to buying our own place = no furniture. (we had a washing machine of our own that was it)

Again more credit as obviously needed everything. (few mistakes in between,£18,000 did not go on furnishing the house, it includes store cards and catalogues etc)

Now stuck with £22,000 debt (not including mortgage), on a DMP with payplan and OH out of work and can not afford to live. My wage only covers the bills and as much as we hate doing it, have to relie on OH's parents giving us money so we can buy food and put petrol in the car.

Have no social life, haven't been anywhere in 6mths, cannot afford a meal out,drinks with friends or even a £15 ahead retirement do for some people at work, or the cinema or to drive any great distance, petrol is just enough for me to get to work and back.

Had my 1st hair cut in 6mths last week, had to put money away for it every mth to get £25 to afford it and i loved every minute of treating myself.

Life is just one big stress ball at the minute, its no life at all and where both 26..........

dixie06

I'm 100% responsible for my own debt, like many have said no-one forced my but I wanted a new this, a new that and it was easy. Now I work long hours in order to pay for my own stupidity when i could be at home with my family. I have no-one to blame but myself. Even now whilst paying of 3 CCJ's I'm I very often still tempted to apply for loans and credit cards but i know if I have them I spend it all and be in a worse situation.

Good luck to others in the same situation, stay strong and DON'T spend what you didn't earn through sheer hard work and effort. I think its more rewarding to think I'll have that new lipstick, i'll pay cash for it out of my very own money.

Deep_In_Debt

People seem to be obsessed with labels and anything that is expensive must be good quality. I buy a lot of good quality clothes in my local charity shop or in Tesco and I'm constantly told how nice my clothes look and where did I get them. When I'm honest, I'm surprised at how many people say, "I never thought of buying my clothes there" but they still don;t change and still wear the latest "designer" gear that they "had" to pay nearly 300 quid for whereas I paid £30 for mine and I'm told I look nice.

continualdiamond, I'm on a dmp with CCCS. It's a struggle, I'm on my own but I don't really miss my nights out. I've got other interests now. I do still go out and enjoy it when I do but my mates come round to me now and we have cheap nights in and we enjoy the nights in more than we've ever enjoyed the nights out. Good luck on your journey. I'll be around for a while!

purplevamp

mrsmortenharket wrote: »

Do you think the bank is irresponsible for lending the money

Yes

mrsmortenharket wrote: »

were you irresponsible for spending it all?

yes

mrsmortenharket wrote: »

Have I opened a can of worms

yes!!:D

The banks know there are people out there who will always take up their offers. The banks know that some of these people can't afford to pay them back and will get into financial trouble.

Some of the people who take on these offers, etc know they can't afford to and have no intention of paying it back. Some people genuinely believe that these offers will help them - sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

But yes, we do need to take responsibility for our actions, but for some it's not as easy as that.

This is just my opinion.

SarahNeedle1872

Oooh great thread! I love a good debate!!

In our instance, OH and I are purely responsible for our debt. We never got to the point of borrowing where we could accuse the banks of 'irresponsible lending' therefore we are totally reponsible for the debt we have. We took a loan to move into our rented house (kinda not much choice as I was unexpectedly pregnant) and then spent loads on the credit cards buying lots of stuff we 'needed' like a couple of big tvs etc

In general though, I think it is '6 of one and half-a-dozen of the other' in terms of lending..... No, people shouldn't borrow what they cannot afford, but not all debt is down to people being extravagant - some people borrow money just to survive month to month.
The banks should also take responsibilty too by not lending what people cannot afford...... how many times have we seen on this thread where someone has taken their 4th consolidation loan because their bank told them it was the 'right thing to do'. and I remember reading an article in the paper a couple of years ago about a poor gentleman who'd commited suicide because he owed £100k+ on 19 credits cards..... 19 CREDIT CARDS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! All the companies had access to his credit file, so how is that responsible lending!?!

In recent years we have all become accustomed to the 'buy now pay later' attitude, and keeping up with the Jones' - but clearly this has to stop.

What does sadden me a little though, is that not everyone is getting the help that they need to sort themselves out.... God love Martin and this site, and when I'm here I feel happy that there's loads of people out there with all this knowledge about budgets and reducing debt, and 0% BT's and charges reclaiming, and all the great stuff that Martin has brought to our attention.... but then when you get out in the 'real' world, you realise that our little gang is just a drop in the ocean, and actually there are millions out there who would look at me like I was mad if I said I was down to my last £3k of debt!