Son dont want to go to his dads - What can i do?

Savvy_Sue

CAFCAS are there for the child, and surely they are used to these situations, where the child doesn't want to say anything bad against either parent, but has some problem with the access arrangements.

As I see it, you can either carry on twisting yourself round in circles thinking there's nothing you can do, or you can do something. The results may not be perfect, but carrying on with the status quo isn't working for your son.

c_l_a_i_r_e

Natalie, you really need to go and see your solicitor asap. Breaking a court order is not going to do you or your son any good in the long run, even though it may seem the best thing to do now.

You should bring the matter back to court, and request the contact times be amended. A contact order is supposed to facilitate contact between parent and child, and clearly this is not happening here as your ex is working for part of that time. You say your son has been expressing concern for a while now, and i really feel now is the time for you to act on those concerns rather than let it drag further.

Perhaps you could also approach your ex in that way, say your son would love to see more of him and perhaps arrange alternative contact to facilitate this? However, this would be in addition to seeking legal advise on the matter. Good luck.

lawlorlane

Poppy9 wrote: »

If your son is so unhappy then he has to speak up. I would take your son to your solicitor with a view to your son engaging his own legal representative.

I appreciate it's hard for your son to be disloyal to his father, but if it's making him so unhappy something has to be done.

http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/children.htm

Thank you very much - i got lots of good info off that - I will be speaking to my solicitors on Monday morning to get things sorted.
Thanks again

lawlorlane

c_l_a_i_r_e wrote: »

Natalie, you really need to go and see your solicitor asap. Breaking a court order is not going to do you or your son any good in the long run, even though it may seem the best thing to do now.

You should bring the matter back to court, and request the contact times be amended. A contact order is supposed to facilitate contact between parent and child, and clearly this is not happening here as your ex is working for part of that time. You say your son has been expressing concern for a while now, and i really feel now is the time for you to act on those concerns rather than let it drag further.

Perhaps you could also approach your ex in that way, say your son would love to see more of him and perhaps arrange alternative contact to facilitate this? However, this would be in addition to seeking legal advise on the matter. Good luck.

Thank you, I am going to speak to my son on sunday when he gets back, have a mummy and son heart to heart and try and explain best i can that he needs to speak up about whats happening. Unfortunatley i really cant speak to my ex as he wont listen to what i got to say, he always thinks im doing things in spite. I will phone my solicitors on monday morning and see what they advise to do
Thanks alot for the luck, i reckon i will need it!!

lawlorlane

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

CAFCAS are there for the child, and surely they are used to these situations, where the child doesn't want to say anything bad against either parent, but has some problem with the access arrangements.

As I see it, you can either carry on twisting yourself round in circles thinking there's nothing you can do, or you can do something. The results may not be perfect, but carrying on with the status quo isn't working for your son.[/quote

What i meant about saying something bad is that my son wont say anything that he thinks will upset his dad so he is likely to say that he is ok with going to his dads and then his dad will make it look like i am causing problems, he did this the first time we went about wednesdays visits as i said its disruptive to his routine and i didnt see how my son would benefit from a two hour visit as it didnt seem enough time for them to bond (as CAFCAS put it)- AND it i'snt as he hardly ever turns up and when he does he arrives half hour late and brings him back half hour early!. He said i was doing this to spite him, as it seems, is everything i do that he dont agree with!!!!!!!
But your right, i am going round in circles and i do need to sort it, starting monday, i will phone my solicitors for help!
Many Thanks