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MMD: Can I spend less on a second wedding gift?
Former_MSE_Naomi
Posts: 519 Forumite
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!
Got a money moral dilemma of your own? [URL="mailto: mmd@moneysavingexpert.com"]Suggest an MMD[/URL].
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I'm going to my mate's second wedding (he was married before but got divorced) and I'm wondering if I can get away with spending less on the present. I got him a big gift the first time and I think it's crazy to spend the same again on the same guy.
Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.
If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!
Got a money moral dilemma of your own? [URL="mailto: mmd@moneysavingexpert.com"]Suggest an MMD[/URL].
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Comments
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I'm wondering if I can get away with spending less on the present
Let me rattle off a few random bits by way of a response:
-Yes
-Your 'mate' obviously likes you enough to invite you second time around and won't judge
-Spend what you can afford
-Go enjoy yourself
These MMDs, really! The last one concerning granny(?) took the biscuit though.
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Inwouldnt bother with s gift, he had it the first time.0
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They're still paying for you to attend (presuming you're there all day/for the meal). I think it would only be polite to give a gift.
Their invite will prob say 'no gifts' or words to that effect.
Just buy them a meal voucher on groupon or something instead of a present. There are some good deals around.2024 wins: *must start comping again!*0 -
Erm, yes you can get away with spending less, as long as your reason for doing so is not because his second marriage is less worthy
Just be careful that amount spent doesnt become a reflection of your attitude towards it allThe opposite of what you know...is also true0 -
Spend as much as you think your friendship is worth. :whistle:0
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Depends if both have come from previous marriages as they could possibly have all they need material wise. Maybe get vouchers in the form of say Homebase, Argos etc or experience days out, this could be memorable & doesn!!!8217;t have to be overly expensive.0
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He made the wrong choice of wife (or she of the wrong husband) the first time around so hopefully things are more permanent the second time around. Your gift should not be seen just as a show of approval or a measure of merit but simply something to show you wish them good luck on their way - spend what you can afford and are comfortable with.0
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Can you afford to spend the same again or is that why you are asking, because you cannot afford it?
I'd think of it this way as well - if he mentions to his 2nd wife after the wedding something along the lines of "well this is nothing in comparison to what he spent on my 1st wedding gift" SHE may think you don't like her or that you think she's not worth it, so you might have a problem with seeing so much of your friend as she's not so keen on you as a friend!!! Just think about that aspect too.
lol
problems, problems0 -
Unless your mate is an absolute cracker at the price is right & a regular player by MSE rules, odds on he won't have a clue how much you spent last time (though the ex might).
The new missus is a completely different player, and unless you know otherwise, presume her to be capable of appraising correctly (it's so often the bride who has to write the thank you letters after all) & apply horse sense. Whilst scanning the deals pagers here etc carefully.
You could spend less, you could appear to spend a load more - just try to avoid starting on the wrong foot with your mate's choice?
Raising a glass of (deal-advised) fizz to your mate, his bride & a long & happy friendship with them both!0 -
"Can I spend less on a second wedding gift? " Answer - you can spend whatever you like. "Should I spend less on a second wedding gift?" is a much better question.0
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