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Is frugal the new normal?
Caterina
Posts: 5,919 Forumite
When I started on my frugal lifestyle, for necessity (DH made redundant, toddler twins, recession), people I knew pitied and admired our lifestyle -admired in a pitying way I mean, because they knew of our impoverished predicament.
When I kept living in a frugal way after DH got back into work, the twins grew up and we were much better off (also due to my OS way, I hasten to add), the selfsame people scorned me and treated me like a weirdo.
At one point, being frugal was considered ok for poor people but not for regularly employed, middle class families like ours. At face value we had all the trappings of reasonable wealth, finally buying a house (we had the flat upstairs and were able to buy the downstairs when the old gentleman tenant died), run a car, dad full time working in a professional job and mum part time in an office, children always well dressed and cared for, good food on the table, regular holidays. Except that DH was very badly paid and I just scraped by on a minimum wage. It was my OS lifestyle that made us appear wealthy, the saving and scrimping, the savvy jumble sale and CS finds, the holidays in my parents' house in Italy (never felt like a holiday for me but the rest of the family loved it, at the seaside), my ability to make a 3 course meal out of leftovers and cupboard staples, etc etc...
Which is all well, because we managed really well on a relatively low income, because of good money management.
However, we never pleaded poverty, like some people I knew, always whinging that they were skint, but treated themselves to things like fancy electronic gadget, only bought branded goods, you know the type. I was always very open about my frugal ways, saying that we were so reasonably well off because we bought stuff second hand, food YSd, used vouchers and special offers...cue much rolling of eyes :eek: and sneering comments!
Now everybody is at it, second hand has become "vintage" and shabby chic is the way to go for the well off middle classes.
I find it very funny in a way, and also very sad, because unfortunately many people these days are very poor and need to live frugally to survive, as the threads on this forum attest. However, it seems to me that because frugality has become trendy, it is now more expensive to be frugal!
The upside of it is that I am a bit of a "frugal celebrity" among my acquaintances, who no longer scorn my ways! Only yesterday a very chic friend of mine was thanking me for how much I taught her about moneysaving. Who'd have ever thought it that one day I'd be trendy :rotfl:
I would be curious to hear other people's experiences on this.
When I kept living in a frugal way after DH got back into work, the twins grew up and we were much better off (also due to my OS way, I hasten to add), the selfsame people scorned me and treated me like a weirdo.
At one point, being frugal was considered ok for poor people but not for regularly employed, middle class families like ours. At face value we had all the trappings of reasonable wealth, finally buying a house (we had the flat upstairs and were able to buy the downstairs when the old gentleman tenant died), run a car, dad full time working in a professional job and mum part time in an office, children always well dressed and cared for, good food on the table, regular holidays. Except that DH was very badly paid and I just scraped by on a minimum wage. It was my OS lifestyle that made us appear wealthy, the saving and scrimping, the savvy jumble sale and CS finds, the holidays in my parents' house in Italy (never felt like a holiday for me but the rest of the family loved it, at the seaside), my ability to make a 3 course meal out of leftovers and cupboard staples, etc etc...
Which is all well, because we managed really well on a relatively low income, because of good money management.
However, we never pleaded poverty, like some people I knew, always whinging that they were skint, but treated themselves to things like fancy electronic gadget, only bought branded goods, you know the type. I was always very open about my frugal ways, saying that we were so reasonably well off because we bought stuff second hand, food YSd, used vouchers and special offers...cue much rolling of eyes :eek: and sneering comments!
Now everybody is at it, second hand has become "vintage" and shabby chic is the way to go for the well off middle classes.
I find it very funny in a way, and also very sad, because unfortunately many people these days are very poor and need to live frugally to survive, as the threads on this forum attest. However, it seems to me that because frugality has become trendy, it is now more expensive to be frugal!
The upside of it is that I am a bit of a "frugal celebrity" among my acquaintances, who no longer scorn my ways! Only yesterday a very chic friend of mine was thanking me for how much I taught her about moneysaving. Who'd have ever thought it that one day I'd be trendy :rotfl:
I would be curious to hear other people's experiences on this.
Finally I'm an OAP and can travel free (in London at least!).
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Comments
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Food is the first thing that came to mind here - and I am wondering whether part of the reason why cheap foods are often no longer cheap is down to this (ie fish and dried beans/lentils). There's certainly times when I reach for a bag of cheap lentils and think "If its a cheap food - how come its costing as much as this nowadays?" Reason being = everyone else wants it too now....
Thank goodness for a bit of cheap (ie free) food from the garden that's starting to come onstream at providing something towards the table.0 -
Ah, don't start me about the trend on "poor" food! I have the hysterics when I see the price of "polenta chips" (polenta being the staple of the poorest people of Northern Italy) or rocket (a weed!). Or offal! Not that I eat it, being vegetarian, but at one point offal was really only for the poorest people, now you get it served, in minuscule portions, at ridiculous prices, in the fanciest London restaurants!Finally I'm an OAP and can travel free (in London at least!).0
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Funnily enough, my DH and I were talking about this last night and we both said it's become the 'in thing'. We live frugally (could do better) out of necessity, we have one salary coming in which supports 4 adults (both DD's over 18) and I have noticed the prices of lentils, offal and the like increasing. I bake my dogs treats and I used to be able to buy enough liver for the treats for about 50p, now, the same amount of liver costs me £1.20.
I have also noticed things like the vintage Singer sewing machines going for silly money whereas a year or so ago you could have picked one up for £5.
It's great that people are trying to learn new skills or eating more frugally but I think it's a passing fad and we will once again be the 'weirdos' within 12 months! :rotfl:0 -
It is an interesting question. If newspaper headlines are to be believed 'thrift' has made a comeback since the recession and everyone is into vintage and shabby chic...and yet when you scrape under the surface of the chalk paint I think there is actually a bit more to it.
I grew up wearing second hand, sewing, cooking from scratch and re-finishing furniture etc. I'm also the prime demographic for the 'vintage' trend and what I see passing for thrift these days often really isn't all that thrifty. Buying so-called shabby-chic furniture in a lot of the trendy shops often seems to involve a piece of furniture in poor condition that has been given a coat of paint with a bit of distressing and then a very high price tag slapped on it. Likewise I see a lot of vintage clothes out there that weren't particularly good quality to begin with and don't fit many of their wearers particularly well...and they paid a fair amount for them and will likely discard them as soon as the trend changes and it is no longer x item but y vintage item that is desirable.
There is also a fair amount of 'thrift at gourmet prices' out there in the cooking world and the explosion of craft magazines selling for around the £4 mark suggests that there is a market for them. I don't, however, see a lot of magazine covers discussing how to make a great meal from your YS treasure hunt or how to darn a pair of socks. They might tell you how to cook the latest trendy cut of 'frugal' meat or add beading to a 'vintage' cashmere sweater though.
That isn't to say it is all fur coat and no ____.... I think it is great that people are more comfortable buying used and learning crafts and cooking--I just don't think a lot of it is actually particularly frugal.
I think there is also a lot of romanticizing. The trendiness of things like allotments etc. often isn't particularly honest to new followers that living a frugal life is hard work--that doesn't mean it can't be fun and inspiring and beautiful but just that it also comes with a lot of the elbow juice in the bargain. You might be able to buy a vintage lifestyle but that doesn't make it truly thrifty.
I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing--just different strokes.0 -
A lot of it, I feel, come from the reasons why you're frugal. If it's out of necessity then I think savviness is at the forefront with motivation. If it's a lifestyle choice then I believe being seen to be thrifty (not frugal... that, I feel, has negative connotations) is about painting a picture and picking and choosing what tools are to be used in order to paint that picture. I agree that it probably won't be bulking meals out with lentils or rubber chicken, using vinegar in a wash or washing with a bar of soap.
We're in a time where I think it's seen as uncouth to be frivolous with money so if they can't be seen to splurge then they may as well spent conforming and confirming with society to buy the label that enables them to fit in with the non frivolous vibe at the moment.
My sister is a case in point. Since my frugal ways she has mocked me and delivered some veiled hurtful blows about it. Now though, I get to see her baking wearing her apron, photos from their allotment that her husband works on, a house full of Cath Kidston. This is from a girl who is as working class as they come who thinks she now middle class because of all she has been able to buy. She thinks we're similar now. We're not at all. She's still a Yummy mummy lady who lunches and I'm still a hardworking housewife.
She has very little skills in terms of frugal ways but a lot markers that suggest thrift... that she's bought.0 -
Me and my friend always laugh that our secrets are now being uncovered by the general public. Ald1 once a thrifty haven is now constantly rammed (and more expensive), the waiting lists for allotments has gone up as hundreds of bearded trendies battle for them :rotfl: and camping is trendy so thats creeping up in price too!Mortgage Jan 13 99260.00 87253 April 2017
Emergency fund 700.000 -
Firstly, welcome back Caterina, I've missed you!! :smileyhea
I was brought up in a fairly frugal household due to financial constraints and it was the norm for me. Once I started earning my own money I did the same but occasionally had a spurge which I soon regretted and learnt from. Now I'm a SAHM as DH works hideous shifts in the emergency services.
As we have one income (albeit a fairly good one by some standards) I am careful with that money as it has to feed, clothe, ferry about a family of 4. I meal plan and shop accordingly, I have a huge collection of loyalty cards which I use religiously and now I'm trying to grow the odd bit in my garden. Vinegar for washing conditioner and microfibre cloths for cleaning instead of chemical conditioner and cleaning wipes
The garden is proving more miss than hit though as the kids are scrumping the tomatoes to second they turn red and the rhubarb can't be harvested until next year. I'm planning some thornless blackberries and a gooseberry bush to be planted in a few weeks along with some other bits to make the garden a little prettier and more productive
Some friends profess amazement that I do all this, they say they can't be bothered or should do it but don't get around to it. I suspect their OH's earn more and they will be going back to work shortly too after maternity leave so after nursery fees they will have more money again.
Once DS starts at nursery (1 month to go :j:j) I will start Christmas planning and prepping - I'm going to try making fudge to give to the nursery staff, wish me luck!Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re probably right ~ Henry Ford0 -
FairyPrincessk wrote: »It is an interesting question. If newspaper headlines are to be believed 'thrift' has made a comeback since the recession and everyone is into vintage and shabby chic...and yet when you scrape under the surface of the chalk paint I think there is actually a bit more to it.
I grew up wearing second hand, sewing, cooking from scratch and re-finishing furniture etc. I'm also the prime demographic for the 'vintage' trend and what I see passing for thrift these days often really isn't all that thrifty. Buying so-called shabby-chic furniture in a lot of the trendy shops often seems to involve a piece of furniture in poor condition that has been given a coat of paint with a bit of distressing and then a very high price tag slapped on it. Likewise I see a lot of vintage clothes out there that weren't particularly good quality to begin with and don't fit many of their wearers particularly well...and they paid a fair amount for them and will likely discard them as soon as the trend changes and it is no longer x item but y vintage item that is desirable.
There is also a fair amount of 'thrift at gourmet prices' out there in the cooking world and the explosion of craft magazines selling for around the £4 mark suggests that there is a market for them. I don't, however, see a lot of magazine covers discussing how to make a great meal from your YS treasure hunt or how to darn a pair of socks. They might tell you how to cook the latest trendy cut of 'frugal' meat or add beading to a 'vintage' cashmere sweater though.
That isn't to say it is all fur coat and no ____.... I think it is great that people are more comfortable buying used and learning crafts and cooking--I just don't think a lot of it is actually particularly frugal.
I think there is also a lot of romanticizing. The trendiness of things like allotments etc. often isn't particularly honest to new followers that living a frugal life is hard work--that doesn't mean it can't be fun and inspiring and beautiful but just that it also comes with a lot of the elbow juice in the bargain. You might be able to buy a vintage lifestyle but that doesn't make it truly thrifty.
I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing--just different strokes.
The shabby chic furniture etc is so epitomized in Harry Enfield's sketches I Saw You Coming - clever writing and observation.
Being truly frugal and thrifty could be a full time job if you were to be fully involved I reckon. No time for tv watching - could be a bonus !0 -
Excellent post, Caterina.
My parents were frugal out of necessity. We did have a big house which Dad had inherited from a Great-Aunt but it needed a lot of work doing on it and Dad didn't earn much. He grew most of our vegetables, Mum bought cracked eggs from the farm down the road, we had an old car. My sisters and I wore second-or third or fourth hand-clothes. The only new clothes we had were Christmas or Birthday presents or home made.We had a weeks holiday a year -always self catering and we'd take a weeks veg with us.
When DH and I got married we were very hard up. He was doing articles and his pay covered the rent. I earned a bit more but a third of my salary went on fares. We did a big shop when we got paid so we could budget for food.If DH needed a new suit for work we really struggled that month. For years my sister and I would buy each other a set of towels for Christmas.
Now we are much better off but still frugal. retirement is coming up and I want to move to be nearer my DDs. I find it amazing that people will think nothing of spending £2 or 3 pounds a day on coffee and are constantly up- grading their phones.My SIL is always pleading poverty but seems to spend most of her spare time shopping-and I don't mean hunting for bargains.0 -
Dh and I had to start living frugally just before ds2 was born, dh was made redundant 3 days before my mat leave started, then 4 months in he suffered a blood clot in his brain and had to take several months of work and needed constant supervision.
Before that we lived the typical consumerist lifestyle (we are Thatcher's children) and had racked up a lot of debt. Tbh I think we are happier now than we ever were before, we eat better and actually enjoy the challenge of growing our own, recycling/mending and learning os skills.
My mummy friends from school think we are pretty strange, even tho they all do the shabby chic thing albeit straight out of cath kidson/laura Ashley/white company.
Suppose that's the joy of living in Harrogate though!0
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