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    overwhelmed new member
    • #1
    • 16th Feb 12, 8:09 PM
    overwhelmed new member 16th Feb 12 at 8:09 PM
    This is my first visit and somehow it feels like a big step !
    I am a, relatively new, single parent. Massively in debt .... I reckon I should have it all paid off by 2099 .... 
    Your stories , helpful members & tips look like they may help me to begin the long process of sorting this mess out. Emotionally , finally in a good place , financially - it's dire !
    But , I just wanted to say , your stories are all encouraging & it's given me the push I needed to start sorting this out !
    Thanks x
Page 3
  • Coco114
    Ahh thanks so much for your support - yes, I am bound and determined to be polite, decent and generally as pleasant as possible - I feel its the only way to do it when there are kids involved. But, being totally honest .... its wearing a bit thin now - just feel like I am being taken advantage of so its difficult - particularly when I am still questioned on a regular basis about what I am doing / who am I talking to etc etc, only difference now is I DONT ANSWER BECAUSE ITS MY BUSINESS NOBODY ELSES !!!! Mind you, took me a long time to get brave enough to say it !!!
    I know that it will all sort itself out but its bloody hard getting there and I know that, if I ever get lucky enough to meet someone else - well I am sure that that will put an end to the polite niceness but hey ho - not putting the rest of my life on hold incase I hurt someone elses feelings .... I have been doing that for far too long !

    Anyhow, I have absolutely no money left for this month so I feel a weekend of cleaning and organising my house coming on. Its "visit" afternoon tomorrow - though if he going to insist on spending the afternoon sat on my sofa -I may just take myself off for coffee with my friends - I have nothing left to say. And no, I dont worry he will change the locks when I am not there - that would mean he would have to deal with the endless phonecalls and letters of people wanting money oh as well as the endless round of cooking, cleaning washing etc and generally trying to keeps running ..... not a chance so no fear on that score

    So I will stop whining now !! but thank you all for listening - am going to post all my letters off tomorrow and wait and see how many people accept my token payments - at least for now. Well, to be honest they dont really have a choice because they cannot have what I havent got - simple as that
    Have a great Friday evening everyone ..... I think there may be enough dribble in the bottle to pour myself half a glass of Wine - fingers crossed !
    coco x
  • Hovel lady
    We're always here to listen and (hopefully ) say something helpful
    Enjoy your (half) glass of wine
  • Coco114
    Just had to write & share ! Had two yuk calls to make this morning both to say I couldn't pay bills until Friday . One was sky tv , very abrupt , made me feel like a fool and then cut me off ! So, swallowing the tears (as try not to get upset any more , it's only mobey after all) I braced myself & rang O2 to do the same .... The woman I spoke to was soooo lovely & helpful was very kind , sympathetic and suspended the account without restriction until I get paid ! She was also chatty and very "hey we all go through bad patches " an absolute star !
    Kicking myself for not taking her name as would like to email O2 & comment on their great customer service ... Well at least for me !
    We are so quick to comment on poor service - just thought it right to comment on good service for once
    Have a good day all.
    Coco x
    PS - there was a dribble of wine left .... But I saved it to put in my chilli I am making later !!
  • Coco114
    Ok having pondered on my last post for 10 mins now I feel bad maybe the lady @ sky was just having a bad day or something ?! I am sure that most people that work there are super lovely !!!
    Will stop rambling now & go do something constructive now
    • vasseur
    • By vasseur 17th Mar 12, 9:15 AM
    • 3,059 Posts
    • 9,841 Thanks
    Ok having pondered on my last post for 10 mins now I feel bad maybe the lady @ sky was just having a bad day or something ?! I am sure that most people that work there are super lovely !!!
    Will stop rambling now & go do something constructive now
    Originally posted by Coco114

    The thing is though - she was your point of contact and as such was representing the company as a whole. I've never had particularly pleasant experiences with them either when I have been trying to cancel. I have found them very aggressive and patronising.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend - you're making great progress.
    It's not how far you fall - it's how high you bounce back....
    Happiness is not a destination - it's a journey
  • flippin36
    Ok having pondered on my last post for 10 mins now I feel bad maybe the lady @ sky was just having a bad day or something ?! I am sure that most people that work there are super lovely !!!
    Will stop rambling now & go do something constructive now
    Originally posted by Coco114
    No excuse for being so rude to you when you are clearly stressed as it is. Working in customer services you have to rise above having a bad day and be polite at all costs. Its easy. Sorry that it upset you so much, if it were me I would cancel my account with them as soon as possible and let them know why. Did you remember her name because I would be tempted to let them know how upsetting her manner was?

    Anyway, just wanted to say good luck to you. Will follow your thread and try and help you where I can. Are you ebaying or selling stuff on Amazon to help you in the short term? Having a bit extra coming in might just take the edge off your stress until things get a little easier. Take care.
  • Coco114
    Thanks for that
    Was thinking about eBay as have lots I could get rid of - just need to figure out how it works ! Does it cost any money to set up ?
    Would help me declutter & make some cash.
    I hate the feeling of having nothing set aside for emergencies so that may be the answer.
    I assume I need to set up a pay pal account or something ?
    Might have a look tonight & make a list of stuff to get rid of
    Coco x
  • Coco114
    Ps - flippin36 I just noticed how much you have paid off since January !!! That's flaming good going
  • Hovel lady
    Hi Coco.
    Not sold on fleabay so I can't answer your question but there is a board on here for selling on fleabay, car boots etc - might be worth a look
  • Coco114
    Ok , so these staying in sat nights are all well and good but ... Having gone to bed @ 10.45 pm last night was wide awake @ 5.30 am Did I reach for a book or magazine to read till I nodded back off ?!
    No ... I logged on to MSE and spent an hour reading diaries etc !!! Am on 3rd cuppa already & brain is whirring as to how to make 15 buy food for today / tomorrow & cat food !!! Youngest will eat anything that vaguely resembles a food group bless, but eldest on the fussy side !!
    Delicious dinner last night , made cheese & potato pie & fried a pile a mushrooms , onions & peppers in garlic oil .... Not healthy but delicious !!!!
    Can't wait to get April started & pay day here - but only because have budget ready , spending diary ready & funky phone ap to work out my spending % !!! ha ha I am learning
    DLC keep ringing & sending nasty letters so I need to deal with them first but .... They will have to wait as I don't have it !!!!
    Hope you all have a great day - tho assume most of you still in bed like normal people !
    Btw , have never charged my phone as much since joining MSE but it is helping me sooo much I can't tell you - it's like having a big group of friends watching over you
    Coco x
    • mavvymoo
    • By mavvymoo 18th Mar 12, 8:24 AM
    • 1,486 Posts
    • 17,007 Thanks
    Hi Coco,Just to let you know about Ebay no you don't pay to set up an account your fees come off what you sell.Please look into it soon as you will find loads of stuff around the house to sell.
    Good old Ebay has got me out of trouble week after week
    I have made 1500 since Christmas just selling what I don't need anymore.
    So go for it and weigh everything before you put a postage cost on as when you are new to it it is so easy to under estimate.
    There is some great threads on here about Ebay to help.
    You are doing brilliantly I have been there and know how hard it is day to day.I wish you all the best and keep posting

    Debt free and Mortgage free thank you to all for your encouragement and advice

    Crazy Clothes challenge 465/500 just under
    Biggest loser 11/15lbs
    Today I will be happier than a seagull with a stolen chip
  • flippin36
    btw - We find that cds, dvds and books do better on Amazon. You can list things and don't pay a fee until you have sold something so it stays listed until its sold. Much easier than ebay I think and we seem to get a few pounds more. Don't dismiss the idea of selling broken things on ebay. As long as you describe it accurately, there are people out there that love broken stuff they can mend. We have just sold an old washing machine that has been cluttering up our garage for years, 2 defunct laptops, non working cameras etc. You may even find ebaying fun when the bids start coming in and the clutter goes down. (Though I'm sure your not cluttered like me). Good luck!
  • flippin36
    Re 15 for food for 2 days. You can do this easily. If you need to post on the old style board as they are real pros when it comes to stretching money on groceries - they can make a meal out of nothing. I have taken to shopping late 5-8pm to get reductions on my staples. Bread, cheese, meat, veggies, fruit all get massively reduced - sometimes down to a few pence. If it was just to get you through a tight patch for a few days its certainly worth having a look. 2pm on a Sunday can be pretty good for yellow stickers. If thats not for you Aldi and Lidl are very cheap for staples and good quality.
  • Coco114
    Thanks to all for your help much appreciated !
    Productive morning so far - have opened paypal acct , earnt 20 in amazon vouchers and am looking at cash back bank accts for all my DDs - having them separate will be only way I won't come unstuck mid month , after March is over , I never want to have to make a grovelling phone call to say I can't pay a bill it's totally humiliating.
    Also , I I am going to tell all creditors I will only correspond in writing - I can't cope with the endless calls, voicemails any more !
    Anyhow , off to have a look at amazon now .... Enjoy your Mothers Day
    Coco x
    • vasseur
    • By vasseur 18th Mar 12, 11:07 AM
    • 3,059 Posts
    • 9,841 Thanks
    Have a great Mother's Day Coco

    Definitely get into Fleabay. I have sold loads in the last year, children's clothes sell especially well. Make sure you mention the brands in the listing title as i think this really helps.

    Do you have an iphone? You can get ebay and paypal apps so you can be notified when someone bids, sells or pays you money. It's really addictive and it's that extra little bit of hope that more money is coming in

    When I think of the amount of things I used to just chuck out now even when I buy something I am thinking 'how easy will this be to sell on after we've finished with it???'
    It's not how far you fall - it's how high you bounce back....
    Happiness is not a destination - it's a journey
  • loopylouc
    hi - just spotted your thread and had to post to say you are doing so well. There is loads of organizing to do when you start out on your debt free journey and being brave moments - mine was answering the phone when I saw it was a withheld number or 0845.

    Just to throw something in have you joined any survey sites? I use toluna and valued opinions and one poll. They pay out different amounts for completing surveys. Toluna you do surveys for points and then collect enough points to get vouchers. I find this one a bit of a long haul one, but One Poll pay out at 40 , surveys are for small amounts of cash but I think you get a bonus for joining, and its something to do in an evening. Valued Opinions pay out in vouchers when you get to 10.
    I've had boots and m&s vouchers and used them to get birthday prezzies or basics when we were short at the end of the money\ month. So DD went to school with an M&S packed lunch but we had not cash in the bank.

    Hope that helps a bit and good luck with the rest of your journey.
  • Coco114
    Thanks Loopylouc
    Have joined couple of survey sights today - will now add one poll to the list !
    Did quite well with my 15.00 , 2 day food shop even cats will be fed !! One last challenge - petrol just touched red & got to drive 25 miles tomorrow .... Not sure if I will make it but I guess I will find out tomorrow ha ha CB goes in on tuesday thank god !
    Busy trawling through old style so I can make sure my grocery budget goes as far as possible next month !
    Coco x
    • Barbeduk
    • By Barbeduk 18th Mar 12, 9:49 PM
    • 823 Posts
    • 7,150 Thanks
    Hi Coco, just caught up with your thread (again!). Just wanted to say that I have listed my first 2 items on eBay and it was so much easier than I thought! Feel like such a twit, have been putting it off for months.

    Good luck with the petrol tomorrow!
    June GC 288.01/400
  • poodlegal
    Hey good luck with the petrol... glad you are feeling more upbeat about it all, we finally are trying to get to grips with our finances too and as much as you have to miss out on stuff the feeling of finally heading in the right direction outweights the doing without. Plus it makes you appreciate the little things in life more. Good luck on your df journey! :-)
  • mightyma
    I was in the creek a few years ago and couldn't see a way out. Trust me, work hard and pay things off gradually. Live a low key life for a few years and you will be better for it when you come through. Good luck to you.
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