Hello.. and how on earth do you stay sane when clearing debt?

FreelanceGirl · 3 October 2011 at 1:20PM

Hi everyone! I've been lurking for some time and thought I'd say hello and introduce myself. I'm a seriously bad person with money. Or I was! When I left university 11 years ago, I had a lot of debt and then because my first job only paid £10K, I struggled and lived beyond my means.

I was a victim of 'consolidation' and 'payment protection plans' and got myself into a right mess... at one point with a £28,000 loan!?!

Not to mention the credit cards I had.

When I met my husband, he really helped me out. That was eight years ago and today, that £28,000 loan is gone! There are no more credit cards. And all that remains is a £9,000 loan between the two of us plus an overdraft. Not forgetting student loans of course.

Although we've still got £17,000 odd debt between us, I feel like we're finally getting somewhere. But it's taken eight years and a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

We've probably paid off £15,000 over the past year! We both run our own businesses and mine's finally doing well. Although it's swings and roundabouts with freelancing. I just lost a few clients so my income's dropped again but hey ho! You've got to make hay while the sun shines and all that. Gotta whack any extra cash onto savings.

At this rate, we think we'll be debt-free by next summer.

But it's killed us. It really has. How does everyone else cope? I find it so depressing sometimes, seeing friends with mortgages and friends going on expensive holidays... buying new clothes, etc.

Not that we haven't been away on holiday. But we've got no savings yet and don't own a house... yet. I feel like we've been slogging away for so long and getting nowhere.

Does anyone else get down? Feel like they're getting nowhere and just paying off debts all the time?

Anyway, hope I'm ok posting this. Thanks
FG

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Happytogetdebtfree · 3 October 2011 at 1:32PM

Hi there first off i started calling mine negative wealth after i read firewalkers thread and that gave me a whole new outlook on things more positive, i started out with 77k of negative wealth and im looking to be free of all that by deceber 2012 its a mass achievement, i dont look at anyone and feel jealous what i think is yes i have paid lots on negative wealth and hindsights a great thing but if we hadnt of had this learning journey would we be thinking different? i know when its all paid off il be building some savings and il be having a luxurious holiday no expense spared and it will be all paid for ... everyday we are getting somewhere everyday we learn new things and ideas that we can pass on to our children i want this learning curve to be of some value for me it means il be inclined to pay my mortgage off sooner rather than later il keep savings il plan for the future il buy now and pay now and i wont need a never never card i find the balance in life and i enjoy the ride

FreelanceGirl · 3 October 2011 at 1:47PM

Happytogetdebtfree wrote: »

Hi there first off i started calling mine negative wealth after i read firewalkers thread and that gave me a whole new outlook on things more positive, i started out with 77k of negative wealth and im looking to be free of all that by deceber 2012 its a mass achievement, i dont look at anyone and feel jealous what i think is yes i have paid lots on negative wealth and hindsights a great thing but if we hadnt of had this learning journey would we be thinking different? i know when its all paid off il be building some savings and il be having a luxurious holiday no expense spared and it will be all paid for ... everyday we are getting somewhere everyday we learn new things and ideas that we can pass on to our children i want this learning curve to be of some value for me it means il be inclined to pay my mortgage off sooner rather than later il keep savings il plan for the future il buy now and pay now and i wont need a never never card i find the balance in life and i enjoy the ride

Thanks so much! I really have felt like I'm going mad half the time. I'll save up a load of money from my business and think 'Wow! I've got lots of money, let's go on holiday or let's go shopping! But then I remember how much debt we're still in - and I go crashing down to earth.

Most of the time, I'm ok with it. And it's a great feeling when another loan or debt is paid off. But recently - after a very difficult year of freelancing (seven days a week, 15 hour days) - I feel so drained and down.

I shall try and keep my pecker up, as they say and remember that nothing will beat the feeling of being debt-free. And those friends who go on holiday do buy things with credit - like I used to!

Thanks

Happytogetdebtfree · 3 October 2011 at 2:15PM

I know what you mean sometimes it can be very defeating what i have found is i dont pay any lump sums unless its enough to pay and clear the amount i pay all minimum payments and then accumulate savings to clear a credit card say i dont like chucking hundreds at cards to see it in a blackhole but thats my way and its working well for me :-) i bet working 15 hours a day is hard 7 days a week try to find the balance how long till your financially free ? x

AngryDog · 3 October 2011 at 5:09PM

I try not to think about it. When I do I get pretty bothered by it.

I am the only person in my house working, and have been since July 2009, though my gf has worked around 6 months in that time. I have had to support both of us, working two jobs (again while she wasnt working) and living off my savings (she had nothing). My savings ran out and I lost my second part time job and could no longer afford to meet my minimum payments. I was making sure all of my living expenses (rent etc) were paid and then have been making token payments to my creditors ever since.

I am faced with a huge dilema and that is to either stay with my gf (we're having troubles anyway but this isnt the place to bore you all with it lol

) and continue paying £5 each a month, or leave her and be in the position to contine paying the £5 a month but being able to save around £350 a month, which over the course of a year would enable me to make F&F settlement offers.

I see people I know, who I went to school with etc in nice cars, nice houses (which they own) etc and it gets me down. I used to own my own house but then thats when it all went wrong (me and my ex split up and she managed to walk away £14k up, me £30k down... hmmmmm). Now I owe around £50k and it goes down at £60 a month. I've considered the BR route but I dont think its for me.

I keep sane just lol.

psychopathbabble · 3 October 2011 at 6:46PM

Same as Angrydog, I do struggle when I'm thinking about it especially as I've struggled to make much of a dent this year (my tax changed on my wages and I've lost about £100-250 per month plus my rent has increased). I've seen it mentioned before about other people and their luxury holidays etc etc... they probably haven't had their lightbulb moment yet and are still whacking all their spends onto credit cards and loans, so just bear that in mind... in a not-so-distant future, you will be paying for your holidays etc outright and they will only just be learning to tackle their debt. I get very down when my friends are out for dinner, drinking, weekends away... but I'm lucky enough to have a supportive boyfriend who doesn't begrudge paying for me for things. I do go mental every now and then and buy something that I can't afford, or go out with my friends but I think that stops me from just giving up completely

In short, I just keep in mind how good it's going to feel paying that final payment and being able to live a bit more freely with my money and start doing some of the things on my growing list!! xx

geek83 · 3 October 2011 at 7:10PM

wow, you have done so well...just imagine how much money you'll be able to SAVE once you are debt free!

And with these lessons learned, you're sure to be much more financially stable in the future...and you have to take all the positives from it.

Keep going and keep being positive, there are people in worse situations and although it might not seem like much of an achievement...look how much money you are able to pay towards your debt, keep going with the business! I'm self employed too, its hard work...but well worth it.

AngryDog · 3 October 2011 at 8:18PM

I know how you feel PB! I've not had a holiday for 15 years either

. I don't mind paying for some things for my gf, but we were talking about stuff for our new house tonight and mentally she has spent around £200 of my money and I don't have that much! It's taking the Micky now

Happytogetdebtfree · 3 October 2011 at 9:26PM

Angry dog why hasnt your gf got a job? maybe you need to discuss things with her... if your going to be £350 better off a month without her what is she windling 350 of your money on ? its time you had a little chat its clear its getting to you ((hugs )) x also on another note i dont presume everyone who spends lavishly has a financial problem my relative is pretty well off and bought an ipad outright with cash so perhaps some of these people are what we will be like and have already done there journey either way lets just keep going x

AngryDog · 3 October 2011 at 10:51PM

Happy, I've had that talk with her, never seems to do any good.
She doesn't really have any job experience. She has been very used to being carried throughout her life. I think I make it too easy for her.
We are on a 2 week trial anyway and I suspect it won't end happily for her. I wouldn't be in the mess I am in now financially if it werent for my being with her.

It is very much getting to me. On top of the strain of being in alot of debt in the first place. I just wish that she would contribute something to the running of the house.

Anyway, this isn't the place for me to moan about this lol. Thanks for the hug!

psychopathbabble · 4 October 2011 at 5:24PM

No, not everyone has financial problems but it probably makes you feel a bit better to think that they are lagging behind on the lightbulb moment

Angrydog, I get sidetracked and have been on holidays more than once in the last couple of years... I think I'd just crumble and give up if I never had anything to look forward to. Angrydog, hope you come to a suitable conclusion for both of you x

Hello.. and how on earth do you stay sane when clearing debt?

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