£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

armchairexpert · 12 May 2017 at 1:17AM

I completely hear you, TOPM. I was where you are last year: working every evening and half of the weekend, for what seemed like a pittance, and it felt very thankless. And yes, I spent a lot on the small conveniences that seemed reasonable in the circumstances, like buying in dinner or impulse purchases online, because what I really wanted was some time and some rest but it felt like that was impossible. I have so much fancy yarn from last year, because if I couldn't find time to knit I could at least dream about it. Ditto books - I would buy three or four books at a time, because I didn't have time to read.

This year my youngest started school, and it's made a huge difference. I think you have a while until you get there but it is genuinely a hard road and you're not being unreasonable for moaning about it.

I understand your reasoning about the four month cushion, but that does imply that once you've got that fourth month bedded down, you can either start scaling back your hours or putting more money into the account, either of which will help. At the moment you're still building cushions, so it seems like there's just no benefit to all these hours.

Treadingonplaymobil · 12 May 2017 at 8:20AM

Week 13: Day 6

Right. The big girl pants are back on, I'm feeling a little bit less pitiful. Thanks to everyone who offered support yesterday. I don't imagine it will be the last of my grumpy days, but I feel like it's out of my system for a little while at least!

Realistically I know we are in peak awfulness - in September DC3 will get more hours at preschool and life will get somewhat less stressful. We're already at mid-May, so that's less than four months of struggling on with the current scenario.~ ~We've done it for five years, we can manage another few months.

armchairexpert I will definitely scale back on the savings once we've hit the four month cushion, and then it might feel like we're actually seeing more benefit from all this hard work!

to do today:
1. Ask MIL if she will step in and help out with a one day childcare gap I am trying to resolve.
2. second top up shop of the week (we haven't done a big shop this week, trying to use up the cupboards). Hoping for <£20 again - I didn't do this yesterday.
3. clear the ironing mountain - half done, need to do DH's shirts (the worst job in the known universe).
4. finish the first wrist warmer of the pair I am knitting for a friend's birthday - only about half an inch left to go on this now.
5. get DH to submit meter readings, check into online accounts for utilities and check everything is as it should be.
6. bake biscuits for clients tomorrow.
7. make soup for clients tomorrow.

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg. Weight loss is going sloooowwwwwly, but at least in the right direction. Has taken me over a week to lose 0.7kg. 0.3kg down on Tue, only 0.1kg down on Thu!
2. make A Plan re debt overpayment priorities - we were turned down for the 0% we applied for, so going to wait another month or two before applying again, and close any unused credit cards and accounts (I have two totally unused credit cards, I think DH may have one too) and hopefully we’ll be a more attractive prospect in a couple of months. I think we need to reprioritise debt overpayments as I had been working on the basis we’d get another 0% card fairly easily. We have a plan now.
3. enjoy being a little less busy after a few manic weeks, clean the house a bit, spend some time with the children. Went for a lovely lunch out on Sun (paid for by another company as a work perk for DH, so completely free!) which was just fab, so nice to all spend some time together. First time DH and I have spent a whole day together with the children in a good 6-8 weeks. And nice family park trip on Monday. That's probably our lot for the week though

Suffolk_lass · 12 May 2017 at 8:41AM

Well done, good to see you back!

Re ironing. I hate it. When your DH's shirts come up for renewal consider this -

I buy easy care cotton shirts.
I wash them in a cool wash on a 700 spin-speed
I tumble them for 5-10 minutes on low heat
I hang them on hangers and hang them up on my gnu rail, which is in the cupboard with the boiler
I never iron them
I am contented (and slightly smug) that this works.
Pillow-cases - I do iron, once every 4-5 months, when I run out (I have about a hundred - not joking) unless the ironing fairy comes to stay (my Mum)

Bobarella · 12 May 2017 at 8:57AM

Hi TOP

Just catching up. I'm missing time on MSE but in reality the fact I don't have time is a good thing as it means I'm working more!

I sympathise on the situation with your husband and you not seeing each other. Were not quite in the same boat, but often feel like there is no quality time.

You are doing such a good job having the business buffer built up, and as you say once your youngest starts school that will help a lot too.

Bob

MoneyMission · 13 May 2017 at 8:18AM

Morning TOP,
Just wanted to pop in a say that you're doing brilliantly well. Looking back to when my children were little, I remember how relentless the lack of spare money was. We'd moved house (more expensive), OH had been made redundant twice and he chose to change career into a less well paid sector and then we were stupid and extended our house.
The years of frugality that ensued were tough and, like you, we wouldn't have made it through had we not been a strong couple.
I remember working Saturdays and evenings at various jobs so I could earn some money and not have to spend out on childcare. We took flasks of coffee and packed food on our days out (walks, cycles etc) so our activities were free. We didn't get takeaways except for on birthdays if the funds allowed. We grew veg in our garden to help the food budget. We bought 2nd hand clothes for us all etc etc etc.
Having both kids start school was the turning point. There were small benefits to start with (an avocado or two!) but they increased steadily over time. It was a long haul and at times we almost threw in the towel and moved to a cheaper house to start again.
I guess I'm trying to say what you already know - it WILL get better. It may take time and be a tough journey but you sound a super lovely family unit and it will be so worth it.
MM
x

Mum_of_2_monkeys · 13 May 2017 at 9:30AM

Hi - I've been reading for a while & just wanted to say - you're doing brilliantly. You're a real inspiration - we don't have quite the same amount of debt, but we also don't have the same amount of income... reading your progress is helping me get my act together & try to spend less when out & about. The decluttering & sales from decluttering had dried up, but I managed to put away £25 in the birthday/Christmas pot this week & am also trying to lose weight (there's a constant battle with chocolate & cake). Seeing what you are achieving is spurring me on! Thank you & keep going xx

Treadingonplaymobil · 14 May 2017 at 8:57AM

Suffolk_lass wrote: »

Well done, good to see you back!

Re ironing. I hate it. When your DH's shirts come up for renewal consider this -

I buy easy care cotton shirts.
I wash them in a cool wash on a 700 spin-speed
I tumble them for 5-10 minutes on low heat
I hang them on hangers and hang them up on my gnu rail, which is in the cupboard with the boiler
I never iron them
I am contented (and slightly smug) that this works.
Pillow-cases - I do iron, once every 4-5 months, when I run out (I have about a hundred - not joking) unless the ironing fairy comes to stay (my Mum)

I don't mind ironing on the whole, but I do loathe and despise ironing shirts. DH has one non-iron shirt and I always internally cheer when it comes through the wash. We don't have a tumble dryer, but I am definitely going to experiment with low-iron solutions!

Bobarella wrote: »

Hi TOP

Just catching up. I'm missing time on MSE but in reality the fact I don't have time is a good thing as it means I'm working more!

I sympathise on the situation with your husband and you not seeing each other. Were not quite in the same boat, but often feel like there is no quality time.

You are doing such a good job having the business buffer built up, and as you say once your youngest starts school that will help a lot too.

Bob

Lovely to 'see' you, and great that you are busy with 'proper' (i.e. Income producing) work, judging by your diary :j . I am COUNTING DOWN until poor DC3 can be shipped off to preschool

MoneyMission wrote: »

Morning TOP,
Just wanted to pop in a say that you're doing brilliantly well. Looking back to when my children were little, I remember how relentless the lack of spare money was. We'd moved house (more expensive), OH had been made redundant twice and he chose to change career into a less well paid sector and then we were stupid and extended our house.
The years of frugality that ensued were tough and, like you, we wouldn't have made it through had we not been a strong couple.
I remember working Saturdays and evenings at various jobs so I could earn some money and not have to spend out on childcare. We took flasks of coffee and packed food on our days out (walks, cycles etc) so our activities were free. We didn't get takeaways except for on birthdays if the funds allowed. We grew veg in our garden to help the food budget. We bought 2nd hand clothes for us all etc etc etc.
Having both kids start school was the turning point. There were small benefits to start with (an avocado or two!) but they increased steadily over time. It was a long haul and at times we almost threw in the towel and moved to a cheaper house to start again.
I guess I'm trying to say what you already know - it WILL get better. It may take time and be a tough journey but you sound a super lovely family unit and it will be so worth it.
MM
x

Thanks for that, lovely to hear from people on the 'other side' of where we are now.

Treadingonplaymobil · 14 May 2017 at 8:59AM

Mum_of_2_monkeys wrote: »

Hi - I've been reading for a while & just wanted to say - you're doing brilliantly. You're a real inspiration - we don't have quite the same amount of debt, but we also don't have the same amount of income... reading your progress is helping me get my act together & try to spend less when out & about. The decluttering & sales from decluttering had dried up, but I managed to put away £25 in the birthday/Christmas pot this week & am also trying to lose weight (there's a constant battle with chocolate & cake). Seeing what you are achieving is spurring me on! Thank you & keep going xx

Thank you so much! I love having another reader, knowing you are all checking in keeps me (a bit more) on the straight and narrow!

Treadingonplaymobil · 14 May 2017 at 9:21AM

Week 14: Day 1

Wow, another week already. Time is flying!

Had a long conversation with DH yesterday about the debt, the rate of paying it off and what we need to spend on. We have come to the half-depressing-half-freeing realisation that we are not going to pay this debt off in a straightforward linear fashion and may not necessarily be debt free in 7 years.

There are several reasons for this. The first is the house - we very much bought a house that was too small and a bit shabby (as it's all we could afford) and we are just not going to be able to get through the next 7 years without extending and doing some work on it. Our current budget has no 'allowance' for this at all.

The second is simple enjoyment of life - we are prepared to compromise a lot, but not miss out on every single thing we enjoy in order to drive down the debt. So things like taking the kids for an extra swim here and there, going to the zoo, spending a bit on our own hobbies and interests.

The third is the 'real' profit from my business, and is partly tied in with the house. I've discussed this here before, but as well as spending on myself, the nature of my work (having clients visit my house) means that the house needs to look fairly decent (and I mean 'need' insofar as I need it to look decent in order to feel confident doing my job and selling what I do), and we can't allow it to keep getting shabbier and shabbier.

In the very short term this means solving the problem that actually caused the discussion - the horrendous state of the front of our house, front garden etc. I have basically removed one month's cushion from my business account (about £300) and that is our budget for doing it. We have dug up some old overgrown beds, have ordered gravel to be delivered, will paint the exterior (bungalow, so manageable by ourselves I think - we just need to find out how to manage the sides of the dormer windows), and are going to make a low picket fence with some pickets we got given by my mum. It won't solve the big expensive problem (tatty concrete path, dirty roof tiles) but will vastly improve the front view of the house. Once that's done we'll figure out the next 'high priority' and the net bit of extra money will go there.

In the medium term, there is very little flex in our budgets, so we need to stay moderately focused on driving the debt down. BUT once we have done that we are going to reduce how much we spend on debt repayments and divert some of that money towards house/living costs. So not a lot will change round here in terms of trying to money save etc, but the priorities driving us will have shifted slightly, and it seemed disingenuous not to share them here.

Obviously in an ideal world I will keep earning at the moderately good level I currently am (my salary since Feb has been more like £300pm rather than £120, even with building the biz account cushion) and we'll be able to manage debt payments and house stuff.

to do today:
1. Ask MIL if she will step in and help out with a one day childcare gap I am trying to resolve.
2. Fruit and veg shop - we still have lots of store cupboard stuff so are holding off a 'proper' shop still.
3. clear the ironing mountain
4. finish the second wrist warmer of the pair I am knitting for a friend's birthday - About 2/3 done already
5. get DH to submit meter readings, check into online accounts for utilities and check everything is as it should be.
6. But cheap pots for front garden

to do this week:
1. lose another 0.5kg.
2. Make my work time more focused - I was very inefficient last week.
3. Erm. I'll think of more later.

Bigskies · 14 May 2017 at 10:18AM

We are in a similar situation. Huge debt, budget cut to the bone, house that's tatty. Our end goal is to move once we're debt free, and currently we'd struggle to sell the house as there are lots of jobs that need doing.
To that end, I've joined the 'Make £10 a day' challenge. This money is for house jobs, that sort of thing. I'm selling stuff on eBay and Facebook, and so far have made enough money to returf the back garden and replace our front fence.
We have a house full of stuff, outgrown kids clothes, bags and shoes that I bought, on credit, when I was depressed and miserable. They are all now going, and I'm being ruthless!
The snowball will continue with our regular income, so the debt will reduce as planned, and I'm hoping this money will pay for the house bits, and hopefully also give me a cushion every month for those bits you haven't budgeted for, like a school trip, or occasional treat like a meal out. Stuff there isn't flex in the budget for.

£67,031.92 is a frightening number indeed....

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free