Renovations and Repayments.

Options
1…162163165167168…345

Comments

  • SingleSue
    SingleSue Posts: 11,699 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Post First Anniversary
    Options
    Alex - it is all relative though. If you have been used to a certain lifestyle, then a reduction in that is going to hurt, make you feel low and/or have feelings of failure, regardless of the sums involved.

    Sh*t happens, you deal with it and move on, for me, it has made me stronger so don't worry on my part, I can see where you are coming from.

    I'm not the sort to do the woe is me thing, my income and housing status does not define me, they are just circumstances, who I am (kindness, being polite, having certain values and morals etc) is the important bit. It is also the way I see others, to me it doesn't matter if someone lives in a big or small house, if they own or not, if they have money or not, it is the person I see, not the 'things'.

    Re suffering - there are a whole of people who have faced worse situations than me. I have never had to endure war, or persecution, or living on the streets, or famine. Yes, pennies have been tight and I have had to adopt different meals at times but in truth, that's nothing really.
    We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.
  • smallholdingsister
    smallholdingsister Posts: 4,018 Forumite
    Options
    Alex have a read of some of the threads on the old style or DFW boards.

    The joy some of those guys get from just being able to afford *some* basic groceries is probably as intense as yours when you buy another car.

    A lot of it IS state of mind.
  • maman
    maman Posts: 28,589 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Options
    AlexLK wrote: »
    Updated my spreadsheet and spent the day with my wife and son. Done a lot of walking though my neck/shoulder pain hasn't got much better so not feeling great this evening. Wife has had a low spend week, hoping for similar next week but am not going to say anything to her about it.

    Currently hardly think my financial "woes" matter when compared with some of the things said on here over the past few days. I've been guilty for saying derogatory things in the past about people less fortunate but this evening I'm wondering if for some it's hardly a choice and more a set of values indoctrinated from birth. After all, I know I share a lot of my views with my parents, whether I like it or not. However, I don't see how I can possibly make anything any better. This world all too often disturbs me and if God is really there why does he make people suffer and go without? I'm sure it's not based on whether or not a person deserves such a fate all the time; there are plenty of people with a lot acting in awful ways.


    Sorry to hear you've still got a pain in the neck!;) More seriously though, do you think it's worth a trip to the GP?


    I think what you're describing as indoctrination from birth is probably the reason why people like Call me Dave can't identify with what they like to call 'working people' and probably believe deep down that anyone who doesn't have a job is a scrounger. I don't think the majority of the government are deliberately nasty they just can't empathise with something they have no experience of. When the parental preference was brought in (which has caused a brain drain in my area to village schools and comprehensives in wealthy catchments) I don't think ministers ever considered that some parents just don't have the wherewithal (like a car and time in the morning) to take their children to out of catchment schools or pay for bus fares so the choice is limited.
  • A_Frayed_Knot
    A_Frayed_Knot Posts: 3,296 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Options
    AlexLK wrote: »
    Wife has had a low spend week, hoping for similar next week but am not going to say anything to her about it.

    I've been guilty for saying derogatory things in the past about people less fortunate ...... However, I don't see how I can possibly make anything any better.

    Your learning :D don't say a word, it often boils down to ... your telling me what to do? I'll do what I want.

    Again, this is making you think and giving you a different outlook on others.

    You can make things better for others, just simply by being a nice thoughtful person (and i'm not suggesting for one minute that your not).

    A good deed a day really helps others,and yourself, may only be a kind passing word, a helping hand crossing the road or just simply a "Good morning" with a smile, on your way to work/shops/school, or even taking your son for ice cream and boating.

    It doesn't always come down to what money can buy, or what you can buy with money, time spent with someone costs nothing and is priceless.

    I have "people" who attend my work and are very nervous and fearful, if I can do anything to allay their fears, then I've "helped" someone. I might not have made them better but i've made them "feel better". If that makes sense.

    Oops, think I might have gone off the trail a bit here.
    Always have 00.00 at the end of your mortgage and one day it will all be 0's :dance:
    MF[STRIKE] March 2030[/STRIKE] Yes that does say 2030 :eek: Mortgage Free 21.12.18 _party_
    Now a Part Timer from 27.10.19
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Options
    SingleSue wrote: »
    Alex - it is all relative though. If you have been used to a certain lifestyle, then a reduction in that is going to hurt, make you feel low and/or have feelings of failure, regardless of the sums involved.

    Sh*t happens, you deal with it and move on, for me, it has made me stronger so don't worry on my part, I can see where you are coming from.

    I'm not the sort to do the woe is me thing, my income and housing status does not define me, they are just circumstances, who I am (kindness, being polite, having certain values and morals etc) is the important bit. It is also the way I see others, to me it doesn't matter if someone lives in a big or small house, if they own or not, if they have money or not, it is the person I see, not the 'things'.

    Re suffering - there are a whole of people who have faced worse situations than me. I have never had to endure war, or persecution, or living on the streets, or famine. Yes, pennies have been tight and I have had to adopt different meals at times but in truth, that's nothing really.

    Sue, I wish I had your attitude to life. :)
    smallholdingsister wrote: »
    Alex have a read of some of the threads on the old style or DFW boards.

    The joy some of those guys get from just being able to afford *some* basic groceries is probably as intense as yours when you buy another car.

    A lot of it IS state of mind.

    I have done and in my ignorance thought such people were just the overly optimistic sort. To be quite honest very little gives me joy, my apathy to a lot of things isn't a good trait to have and unfortunately for me nothing is ever good enough.
    maman wrote: »
    Sorry to hear you've still got a pain in the neck!;) More seriously though, do you think it's worth a trip to the GP?

    I think what you're describing as indoctrination from birth is probably the reason why people like Call me Dave can't identify with what they like to call 'working people' and probably believe deep down that anyone who doesn't have a job is a scrounger. I don't think the majority of the government are deliberately nasty they just can't empathise with something they have no experience of. When the parental preference was brought in (which has caused a brain drain in my area to village schools and comprehensives in wealthy catchments) I don't think ministers ever considered that some parents just don't have the wherewithal (like a car and time in the morning) to take their children to out of catchment schools or pay for bus fares so the choice is limited.

    :rotfl: Had a pain in the neck for 13 years and counting... so not overly worried ;). Seriously, it's muscle pain so nothing to bother my GP about.

    I suppose I relate more to CMD than I do to those referred to as the "working people". Quite guilty for that and I suppose that makes me "out of touch". I know I wouldn't consider people not being able to drive their children to school. :o
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Options
    A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »
    Your learning :D don't say a word, it often boils down to ... your telling me what to do? I'll do what I want.

    Again, this is making you think and giving you a different outlook on others.

    You can make things better for others, just simply by being a nice thoughtful person (and i'm not suggesting for one minute that your not).

    A good deed a day really helps others,and yourself, may only be a kind passing word, a helping hand crossing the road or just simply a "Good morning" with a smile, on your way to work/shops/school, or even taking your son for ice cream and boating.

    It doesn't always come down to what money can buy, or what you can buy with money, time spent with someone costs nothing and is priceless.

    I have "people" who attend my work and are very nervous and fearful, if I can do anything to allay their fears, then I've "helped" someone. I might not have made them better but i've made them "feel better". If that makes sense.

    Oops, think I might have gone off the trail a bit here.

    :rotfl: Re. Mrs K. I think you're right, she doesn't like being told what to do by anyone (least of all me) and usually does the opposite. :mad: Thing is I always try to accommodate her wishes.

    I do try to be kind and do try to help others; I'm not a complete p***k. Not convinced I do enough though.
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Options
    Haven't updated my spreadsheet today as it's been a NSD. :D Glorious weather, nice walks with the dogs, no falling out with Mrs K and only let down by my son doing something he shouldn't (and should know better than to do) and the amount of people driving around - no hope of getting to any of the larger towns easily. Suppose that's not a bad thing as there's no chance of spending any money. :)
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
  • A_Frayed_Knot
    A_Frayed_Knot Posts: 3,296 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Options
    AlexLK wrote: »
    :rotfl: Re. Mrs K. I think you're right, she doesn't like being told what to do by anyone (least of all me) and usually does the opposite. :mad: Thing is I always try to accommodate her wishes.

    I do try to be kind and do try to help others; I'm not a complete p***k. Not convinced I do enough though.

    :rotfl: We have a boss like that - trick is when you want to do something or have something done your way, is to make them think - its their idea :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


    Never thought or said you were, even for a minute. The fact you do help and try is good enough, :A

    AlexLK wrote: »
    Haven't updated my spreadsheet today as it's been a NSD. :D Glorious weather, nice walks with the dogs, no falling out with Mrs K and only let down by my son doing something he shouldn't (and should know better than to do) and the amount of people driving around - no hope of getting to any of the larger towns easily. Suppose that's not a bad thing as there's no chance of spending any money. :)

    In other words - a perfect day :j don't know what your son done, but just remember he is only 5 ;)
    Always have 00.00 at the end of your mortgage and one day it will all be 0's :dance:
    MF[STRIKE] March 2030[/STRIKE] Yes that does say 2030 :eek: Mortgage Free 21.12.18 _party_
    Now a Part Timer from 27.10.19
  • newgirly
    newgirly Posts: 8,942 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    Options
    I popped to the shops this morning and it was so busy everywhere, I thought more people would be relaxing in the sun.
    2022 MFW 67 - 33 month challenge to clear mortgage, month 17 completed and and extra 2 knocked off 🙂MFI3 No.12
  • AlexLK
    AlexLK Posts: 6,125 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Options
    A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »
    :rotfl: We have a boss like that - trick is when you want to do something or have something done your way, is to make them think - its their idea :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

    Never thought or said you were, even for a minute. The fact you do help and try is good enough, :A

    In other words - a perfect day :j don't know what your son done, but just remember he is only 5 ;)

    Yes, my wife is the same. It gets tiring, to be honest.

    Thanks. :) I don't personally think I'm a very good person but that's my problem - ought to try better.

    :rotfl: Today has been nice. Got to do some work for my course though and can't concentrate on anything at the moment. My mind is on our upcoming family holiday in two weeks. It's the dog's first and I'm really looking forward to it. :o

    As for son, his actions didn't annoy me too much. :)
    newgirly wrote: »
    I popped to the shops this morning and it was so busy everywhere, I thought more people would be relaxing in the sun.

    Everyone seems to flock to the peak district when the weather is nice and it's a weekend day.
    2018 totals:
    Savings £11,200
    Mortgage Overpayments £5,500
This discussion has been closed.
★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.2K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 608.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173.1K Life & Family
  • 247.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards