Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

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  • Lara
    Lara Posts: 2,880 Forumite
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    We've been invited to an evening invitation (daughter of friends) & been sent a gift list. I am ignoring this as I'm making the 4 tier wedding cake and only charging for ingredients. I have to admit I thought it was rather cheeky.
  • Thriftylady
    Thriftylady Posts: 594 Forumite
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    Lara wrote:
    We've been invited to an evening invitation (daughter of friends) & been sent a gift list. I am ignoring this as I'm making the 4 tier wedding cake and only charging for ingredients. I have to admit I thought it was rather cheeky.

    thats sooooo cheeky !! have these people never seen how much it costs to buy a wedding cake outright ??!
  • skystar
    skystar Posts: 527 Forumite
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    Lara wrote:
    We've been invited to an evening invitation (daughter of friends) & been sent a gift list. I am ignoring this as I'm making the 4 tier wedding cake and only charging for ingredients. I have to admit I thought it was rather cheeky.


    I think its rather cheeky to send a gift list but even worse if you are making the cake!

    As I said earlier in the post we had a gift list but this was only mentioned to guests when they asked us or parents if there was something they could get us.
  • Rachie_B
    Rachie_B Posts: 8,785 Forumite
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    purplepurple wrote:
    Friends of ours bought us a houseplant (can't remember the name of it, but it's got lots of branches!) and taped 30 pound coins to ribbon and hung them all over the tree/plant (bit like christmas tree decorations)...
    it looked fantastic - they said it was a money tree - and we've still got it 7 years on to remind us of them (we used the money obviously!):D

    awww i quite like that idea :)
  • penypincher
    penypincher Posts: 116 Forumite
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    Rachie_B wrote:
    awww i quite like that idea :)
    Aww! Me too!
  • Spirited_2
    Spirited_2 Posts: 107 Forumite
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    It's a lovely idea.

    We offered a wedding list as an option for those who didn't know what to get us but who wanted to get something we'd use. As we had arranged the wedding in the 15 days notice (ha... I don't think we spent more than £200 on the wedding in total, can't believe some spend thousands) there wasn't a lot of time for people to think about it.

    I was happy for people to turn up (present or no present), we got a little cash, a few gifts off the wedding list (prices starting from <£5 for those on a budget), a few gift vouchers. But I loved the presents bought or made by friends which hadn't been asked for.

    I just wanted people to have a good time, and I think they did. We provided non-fancy food, a fun cake, and an easy going time.
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  • Welshdan
    Welshdan Posts: 54 Forumite
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    At a recent wedding ,I saw a few novel ideas for giving cash but making it memorable to the bride and groom.

    Someone bought teatowels from small to large and taped notes to each towel. £5 on the first two. £10 on the next and £20 on the last. Someone also put £20 note in a photoframe. At least by doing it that way the bride and groom may appreciate who the cash was from, and have something to keep as well
  • mummysaver
    mummysaver Posts: 3,119 Forumite
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    Personally wouldn't give cash, and I think it is rather bad manners to send out wedding lists unless asked for a copy.

    However, I did see somewhere on MSE where someone had written about being given a £20.00 note in a frame, with "smash in case of emergency" on it. I thought that this was a great idea, but perhaps not really applicable to a wedding gift!

    Depending on how well I knew the couple I would either get them a token gift, or a voucher for a meal out whilst the conversion was being carried out.

    Love the money tree idea though, may borrow it for BIL's wedding - and no he doesn't have a list, but have replied to any queries that people could perhaps make a donation to their favourite charity.
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  • ms_london
    ms_london Posts: 2,852 Forumite
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    Lucie wrote:
    My friend Sam works on the theory that you should pay for your food with your wedding gift, so if you're invited to the day you would spend more than if you were only going to the night do.

    I still think that this is wrong. You shouldnt feel you have to spend a certain amount on a present. So many couples cant afford their weddings & seem to use the wedding presents as a way of recouping what they have spent? It shouldnt work like that, you should want your friends/relatives at your wedding because you want them there, not because they'll give you X, Y, Z in return?!

    A friend of mine recently got married, both up to their eyes in debt, no idea how they could afford the wedding to be honest, or paid for it, and asked people to donate money towards their honeymoon. Nice idea, but why should we pay for it because you cant afford it?

    Perhaps thats me sounding bitter, I just think its wrong!!
  • nic82
    nic82 Posts: 420 Forumite
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    Thriftylady wrote:
    thats sooooo cheeky !! have these people never seen how much it costs to buy a wedding cake outright ??!

    And they've only sent an evening invitation instead of a whole day one.

    I know the poster is "only" a friend of the bride's parents, but the poster is obviously a good friend if they've asked her to make the cake and she's only charging for ingredients. I think it's downright rude that loads of other guests are benefitting from a cake that an evening-only guest has so generously made.
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