Excel Parking, BW Legal and now what looks like court papers

DoaM · 5 April 2017 at 12:44PM

Just be aware that anything you upload may identify you (if you're trying to anonymise your forum profile from your real identity). Any documents should be redacted of personal, identifiable details (including vehicle reg etc).

Lamilad · 5 April 2017 at 12:48PM

Also if you're submitting video footage as evidence then you'll need to let the court know in advance and make sure they've got the necessary equipment to play it, and that it will play whatever format it is in.

If they haven't you have to take your laptop with you

Xanthanan · 8 April 2017 at 2:53PM

Well, that document writing took a darn long time, if I present several hundred hours of effort in my costs to the judge will it come across badly? (Joke)

I now have a link for a dropbox folder containing redacted versions of a Defence or Skeleton argument and also a Witness statement and would greatly appreciate comments and guidance (anything I have highlighted in blue is stuff I'm not sure about) I am open to ALL forms of critique

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/nx3f44e0pzvvap1/AACcg8Y72g_3PSoLN6-v18Y8a?dl=0

Unfortunately I'm a person that never uses 100 words when 1,000 will do so please feel free to guide me on being 'more concise' or 'removing superfluous details' or just cutting out the waffle... Every time I look at the docs I add yet more words thinking I'm helping but maybe its not as helpful as I imagine!

I initially plan to leave it open over the weekend and will block it after Sunday evening to avoid prying eyes but will open it back up occasionally and leave it permanently open after the hearing.

I have also included my bundle index and two evidence items:
SF05 - My examination of how POFA should have applied to my case.
SF13 - The brief transcript of my video

I haven't added any of the other documents I plan to use as exhibits but please feel free to question their contents and I will happily redact them (if necessary) and upload them if vital.

Thanks must go to the absolutely wonderful advice in this thread from the fantastic forum vets but also to Lamilad and Claretmad who will find sections of their defence documents and styles unashamedly plagiarised... That local council advertisement letter... What a gem :shocked:

Xanthanan · 9 April 2017 at 1:00PM

Added a low resolution version of the video I'll use to show the 10 minute grace period is woefully under what it really takes and doesn't conform to CoP.

Umkomaas · 9 April 2017 at 2:04PM

Unfortunately I'm a person that never uses 100 words when 1,000 will do so please feel free to guide me on being 'more concise' or 'removing superfluous details' or just cutting out the waffle... Every time I look at the docs I add yet more words thinking I'm helping but maybe its not as helpful as I imagine!

~ 6,500 words in your defence
~ 1,800 in SF05
~ 2,000 in Witness Statement

~ 10,300 words in total.

I think you might be right! waffle ain't going to help, and is unlikely to impress a judge.

Plus there's a 15 minute video for the judge to go through (if he's got the equipment to hand to do so).

I've read cases where the judge has been pretty grumpy after having gone through voluminous submissions (from either side) over what he's judged to be a trivial claim - and made his feelings known. I'm no court expert so won't comment on content, but volume looks to me to be way OTT.

You don't need to be upsetting the judge before you get into his court.

Xanthanan · 9 April 2017 at 6:43PM

Thank you Umkomaas, I will begin the cull

Coupon-mad · 9 April 2017 at 6:49PM

Unfortunately I'm a person that never uses 100 words when 1,000 will do

Me too...so I am not the best person to prune repetition from a WS.

Xanthanan · 13 April 2017 at 5:50PM

Umkomaas wrote: »

~ 6,500 words in your defence
~ 1,800 in SF05
~ 2,000 in Witness Statement

~ 10,300 words in total.

I think you might be right! waffle ain't going to help, and is unlikely to impress a judge.

Plus there's a 15 minute video for the judge to go through (if he's got the equipment to hand to do so).

I've read cases where the judge has been pretty grumpy after having gone through voluminous submissions (from either side) over what he's judged to be a trivial claim - and made his feelings known. I'm no court expert so won't comment on content, but volume looks to me to be way OTT.

You don't need to be upsetting the judge before you get into his court.

OK the cull continues, I have halved the size of the WS and shaved 2,000 words off the defence argument, I could take more out but for the moment I'm gonna move onto SF05 as its in need of a rewrite. It needs less waffle and more detail about failure to establish keeper liability, it concerns me if I don't prove a none compliant NTK the hire documentation (if Excel / BW present it!) may be convincing enough to pass on the liability in the judges eyes. I'll put them back up for comment when that's done.

In the meantime I spoke to the court and they are happy for me to bring in a laptop to show the video on the day (I really don't want to sit through the video again but who knows). They have also advised it is acceptable to email links to the court and BW Legal so they can view the video. A dropbox share similar to what's been done on here will be private enough (unless you have the URL) I guess.

Unfortunately there was a problem when I tested the dropbox links this afternoon because dropbox only seems to allow 15 mins of video to appear in the 'preview' by default... You can download the full video but its a bit fiddly and open to mistakes, leaving me with a useless video if I'm not careful.

I need to do more testing unless anyone can suggest a suitable alternative 'semi secure' method of hosting a 20 minute video. The court didn't like the idea of it being uploaded it to a public site like Youtube.

beamerguy · 13 April 2017 at 5:54PM

Xanthanan wrote: »

OK the cull continues, I have halved the size of the WS and shaved 2,000 words off the defence argument, I could take more out but for the moment I'm gonna move onto SF05 as its in need of a rewrite. It needs less waffle and more detail about failure to establish keeper liability, it concerns me if I don't prove a none compliant NTK the hire documentation (if Excel / BW present it!) may be convincing enough to pass on the liability in the judges eyes. I'll put them back up for comment when that's done.

In the meantime I spoke to the court and they are happy for me to bring in a laptop to show the video on the day (I really don't want to sit through the video again but who knows). They have also advised it is acceptable to email links to the court and BW Legal so they can view the video. A dropbox share similar to what's been done on here will be private enough (unless you have the URL) I guess.

Unfortunately there was a problem when I tested the dropbox links this afternoon because dropbox only seems to allow 15 mins of video to appear in the 'preview' by default... You can download the full video but its a bit fiddly and open to mistakes, leaving me with a useless video if I'm not careful.

I need to do more testing unless anyone can suggest a suitable alternative 'semi secure' method of hosting a 20 minute video. The court didn't like the idea of it being uploaded it to a public site like Youtube.

whats wrong with youtube I wonder ?

Umkomaas · 13 April 2017 at 7:24PM

I need to do more testing unless anyone can suggest a suitable alternative 'semi secure' method of hosting a 20 minute video. The court didn't like the idea of it being uploaded it to a public site like Youtube.

Are you sure a judge will want to sit through a 20 minute video of you with a stopwatch and clipboard? If you disregard advert breaks, that's as long as an episode of Corrie!

I'm no court expert, but if bargepole is passing by I wonder whether he might comment on whether it would be a good plan to show this.

Excel Parking, BW Legal and now what looks like court papers

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