Real-life MMD: Should I tell my husband that his new client's my horrid ex?

You need to be upfront w yr husband and give him all the info re the previous relationship. Professionals often have to deal w people they dont like but its their job.

If your ex knows who yr husband is their may need to be a fair degree of due diligence to ensure ex isn't getting back at you through him.

Not easy but in the worse case there will be other clients!

ATB

Phil

I agree. Tell your husband, make it clear to him that you are *not* asking or expecting him to turn the contract down, but that you wanted him to have a heads-up.

Also, (depending on your husband's business and the nature of your ex's unpleasantness) decide on whether you would be willing to meet him socially (for instance, if your husband hosted a BBQ for his clients) or have him know where you live (if our husband ever works from home) and make sure your husband knows how you feel, so you can avoid any potentially difficult situations.

I would only see this as an issue where your husband might not want to continue dealing with this man if your ex has a history of financial unreliability *and* is entering into a contract with your husband in his personal capacity - if your ex is simply a manager or other employee at the organisation which your husband is working for then even that wouldn't be a problem.

In either case, it is helpful for your husband to know to make sure that he is particularly careful to document everything so that his records and so are are irreproachable. But of course he should be doing that in every case anyway ;-)

Tell him everything, as calmly as you can. As many have already said,'horrid' is a very subjective term. What he did to you and what he would do in business are two entirely different things. Your husband shouldn't turn down the work just because the client is your ex. He should only turn down the job if he fels unable to work with the man,or that he might not get paid. It is quite likely that someone else will tell your husband about the connection,so it will be better to be open about it now.

pennypinchUK wrote: »

Why are you wasting time asking for other peoples' opinions? Of course you should tell your husband. Out of simple loyalty to you, your husband should immediately sever his links with this person. If he doesn't, then you're entitled to the view he considers money more important than your relationship.

Now get off MSE and immediately tell your husband to cancel the contract.

Or conversely he's entitled to the view that schoolground politics are an ineffectual, if not hilarious, way to run a business

What does it matter if this ex was 'horrid' or not, whether you shared a home or just had a single date? To not mention to your husband that you know his new client is weird and doesn't bode well for your relationship.

Many years ago husband and I once went to a club where we met up with a large crowd. Some were friends and others we didn't know. I spent most of the night chatting to a woman who was the cousin of a friend. A week later I found out she was my husband's ex and I have to say I was absolutely furious. I liked the girl and wouldn't have had a problem with her ex status if I'd have known but the fact I spent a whole evening in her company and I was virtually the only person there who didn't know made me feel embarassed and foolish. I know he didn't tell me at the time just because he felt a bit awkward about it but he now knows (we've been married 21 years) honesty is definitely the best policy