Attending parties as a single

tea_lover · 27 February 2015 at 6:39PM

The absolute worst that happens is you spend a couple of hours a bit bored. Or you might have a lovely evening with your friend, and possibly make some new friends. At the very least you get food, that would swing it for me lol.

It does feel daunting. Am just about newly single after a decade and you do miss that safety blanket of arriving with someone to talk to. But life is too short to over think these things

January20 · 27 February 2015 at 7:09PM

janb5 wrote: »

Hi,

I have been invited to a 60th birthday in a restaurant + dancing. Really appreciate the gesture, the same friend invited me to her son`s wedding party but I hate going to functions where I am the sad old girl on her own. I resolved never to put myself in that situation again feeling more lonely amongst happy couples.

What do other singlies do?

I find this very difficult. Taking a friend is not an option, as none of my friends are single and often this functions are on a weekend where people like to spend time with their spouse and their family.

I got sick of taking a (single) gay friend as my +1,so now I have made the same decision, to never put myself in that situation. I don't feel I'm missing out. Missing out on what? feeling awkward? Trying to mingle in amongst couples?

ETA: it would be useful to know if the posters who are giving advice here are single or in a relationship, because this situation is very different if you are living it or if you are just thinking about what you would do and feel if your were single.

purpleshoes_2 · 27 February 2015 at 7:49PM

Im single and I have been for a long time and in other periods of my life when I was single, I went to weddings without a partner, Ive been to engagement parties without a partner. I don't see what the issue is. If the OP doesn't want to stay for the dancing then surely she can go for the meal and head off home early.

Its a couple of hours out of your life. I run a meet up group and it's full of single people, some people are happier being on their own than others, but loads of people are in the same boat, it just might not feel like that when you feel you are surrounded by couples.

janb5 · 27 February 2015 at 8:42PM

Hi purple shoes. I am in a Meet up group too but there is a world of difference between being in a room of couples and being with a mixed group ( such as Meet up) if you see what I mean?

Yorkie1 · 27 February 2015 at 8:47PM

janb5 wrote: »

Hi purple shoes. I am in a Meet up group too but there is a world of difference between being in a room of couples and being with a mixed group ( such as Meet up) if you see what I mean?

But Purpleshoes said s/he went to weddings and parties without a partner too.

I agree with the others - it's what you choose to make of it and how you choose to view it.

If you're determined that you're not going to enjoy yourself and feel sorry for yourself in a corner on your own, that's likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm single and go to things like this on my own because they are my friends, I want to share their special times with them, and they want me to share them too.

I would probably leave before the dancing, because I'm not keen on dancing though.

DepositSaver · 27 February 2015 at 9:12PM

Yorkie1 wrote: »

But Purpleshoes said s/he went to weddings and parties without a partner too.

I agree with the others - it's what you choose to make of it and how you choose to view it.

If you're determined that you're not going to enjoy yourself and feel sorry for yourself in a corner on your own, that's likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm single and go to things like this on my own because they are my friends, I want to share their special times with them, and they want me to share them too.

I would probably leave before the dancing, because I'm not keen on dancing though.

I completely agree with this - it's what you choose to make of it. I've been single forever and have been to all sorts of weddings and birthday parties alone. Sometimes I have known other couples and single people there, sometimes I have known just couples, occasionally I have known only the host.

I go because I want to share my friends' special occasions with them. I am quite shy so I don't find it overly easy to arrive at the party/wedding and just randomly start chatting, but once I've been there a little while and have been introduced to a few people I'm fine.

purpleshoes_2 · 27 February 2015 at 9:38PM

I can honestly say Ive never turned down any invitation due to being single, if I didnt want to go to something and I have done in the past Ive sent a present to the person celebrating. I was single in my early 20s, I went to engagement parties and weddings on my own. Im not the most outgoing of people, I have to force myself to socialise at times, but not being in a couple wouldnt be the reason I turned an invite down.

Ive been single for the best part of 10 years, it doesnt feel odd to me doing a lot of things on my own, I go to the gym on my own although I know people there, if I got an invite to a party Id go if I wanted to, if I didnt obviously not, but I wouldnt accept an invite and then bail out nearer the time.

If you dont feel comfortable going dancing just go for the meal and make your excuses.

Wilma33 · 27 February 2015 at 11:08PM

I find it odd that your friends wouldn't be happy for you to bring a friend. Presumably they would be happy for you to bring a partner if you had one so what is the difference? If it's about money then could you offer to pay for you or your friend?

vodkachick68 · 28 February 2015 at 4:54AM

I'm single and I don't bat an eyelid going to parties etc on my own though I am quite an outgoing person which does help. My friends know my situation and are more than happy to let me bring another friend along if I want.

I would bite the bullet and go,don't worry what other people are doing or if they are with their partners/husbands,your there for the same reason as them. Not everyone has to have a man/partner to enjoy life;) I've been single now for 7 months and I'm really enjoying doing things for me and not having anyone to answer to lol!! Saying that if I met "the right one" that's a bonus.

Just go along and you never know you may have a great night

duchy · 28 February 2015 at 7:45AM

janb5 wrote: »

Hi,

I have been invited to a 60th birthday in a restaurant + dancing. Really appreciate the gesture, the same friend invited me to her son`s wedding party but I hate going to functions where I am the sad old girl on her own. I resolved never to put myself in that situation again feeling more lonely amongst happy couples.

What do other singlies do?

If you don't want to go- then don't go (although with guests of sixty and older it's a huge assumption they will all be single and not one of them single, divorced or widowed). Your friends invite you because they think you'd enjoy sharing their celebration -If you don't want to then decline.

With 25% of the population single -if you want to think of yourself as "the only sad old girl" then you will- be .you are unlikely to be the only single there -you'll only be "sad" if you see yourself that way ...............and it's a vast assumption that all couples are happy.

It's all about how you see yourself.

Attending parties as a single

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