Downshifting to a nicer life...

Happier_Me · 14 July 2016 at 6:48PM

Hi MeandO

I can understand why you want to do this and it does sound like a good plan. I am married with two kids, hold down a stressful job including a two hour commute and have full responsibility for the childcare - I am constantly clock watching and dashing from A to B and I find it absolutely exhausting. My hubby is very supportive but he works long hours. I can count the number of times he has collected the kids from after school/school on one hand with fingers to spare and my eldest is 11!

I don't think you will regret this longer term and I hope you find a property that takes a big chunk off your mortgage. The financial, time and emotional benefits will be well worth the short term pain of buying and selling!

One day I hope to take a similar step and reclaim some of my sanity!

MeandO · 15 July 2016 at 9:08AM

Thank you both so much. :heart2:

I really feel for you Happier Me, it is exhausting and emotionally draining isn't it. Financially, I could cope fine if I stayyed in this house and kept DS in after school club, but physically and mentally, I'm not so sure how long I could keep it up and I think my son would be much happier in the long run when things change.
Although we're not together, his Dad is very supportive and does more than his fair share, but he has a long and stressful job too, so it's not easy.
Thank you for the good wishes, I hope things become easier for you too shortly, you do sound like supermum! Xx

MeandO · 15 July 2016 at 9:14AM

9p tidied from the accounts today, moved into the overpayment pot. It's going up verrry slowly! It's the week before payday so I have to be cautious with my money for now.

MeandO · 16 July 2016 at 10:35PM

£1.62 tidied from the bank accounts today, so that's £2.90 in the OP pot now.

The house I saw yesterday was disappointing. Old, tired and needing lots of tlc. The garden was smaller than it looked in the photos and the boiler looked liked something out of the ark too. I was really disappointed, I was hoping this was the one, it was in the perfect location and I really thought it had something about it in the photos.

I have a couple more viewings booked on mine now so I have my fingers crossed everything will work out for the best this week.

I've been quite down about a few things lately and am not feeling at my brightest this weekend, so trying to keep busy and be productive. It always makes me feel better when I've achieved something.
Today I forced myself to sort through my clothes, all the bedding and most of the cupboards upstairs. I've sorted another 2 full black bags for the charity shop and have a third on the way to being full. I also managed to offload a big storage container of the ex's books he had left here back onto him! He has a small house so complains he has no room for them, but neither will I when I move and I sure as heck ain't moving them with me! I will do another sweep of the house before I get round to taking the stuff to the charity shop, sure I will manage to fill that third bag and possibly more. The cupboards are feeing a lot tidier now though and I'm very happy that it will be less stuff to pack and move and then find a new home for when the time comes. I don't have a lot of 'stuff', but my new place will be smaller, so I need to de-clutter every last thing I don't want, need or find beautiful as the saying goes!

I have had a few orders in this week for my little craft business, so I will make those tomorrow afternoon when DS is at his dad's and get them posted this week. The money made from those will probably go in the OP pot, but I'll decide tomorrow when I look at the finances.

I also picked up some Lego bits I'd ordered for DS for Christmas today. They were on offer in Argos, so have gone away in the Christmas cupboard.
I bought DS a new duvet today as his needed replacing (£8), and bought a present to put away for my Mum's birthday later in the year (£5).

Off to get some shuteye now, it's been a long day...

Hope everyone's enjoying the weekend Xx

MeandO · 18 July 2016 at 11:34AM

Was feeling really down yesterday about everything and there were lots of tears, so decided to take myself out for some exercise - only to be greeted by some of my roof tiles smashed outside on the drive! They literally fell off (roof is only 3 years old).

So today I have to find a roofer to fix it asap in case it starts raining again and also in case it put any buyers off as I have viewing lined up for this week.

Before all this, I cleared the kitchen cupboards out and filled the third bin bag for the charity shop. There is a lot I could ebay, but, at the moment I really haven't got it in me to do it, so I'll give it to the charity shop and let someone else benefit.

Had a nice relaxing evening with OH last night, was much needed as it's been a difficult few days. Won't see him now for a few days so a bit

about that.

I need to clean and clear and tidy the house tonight ready for the viewing booked for tomorrow (and hope they don't notice the hole in the roof

).

MeandO · 18 July 2016 at 11:45AM

41p tidied from the accounts to the OP pot today, now £3.31 in there.

MeandO · 18 July 2016 at 8:42PM

House is tidy and ready for the viewing tomorrow

No luck getting a roofer out today - after chasing several avenues, the one roofer I did get hold of never showed up, despite telling me he was on his way twice, so I shall phone another tomorrow.

I posted some orders today and also picked up a few bits at Sainsbury's whilst I was at the post office. I stocked up on yellow sticker salmon, chicken, fruit (cherries @ £1 a punnet - yum!) and healthy bits. I need to start eating better in order to start feeling better both inside and out, so I'm going to make a concerted effort to do so.

I also read some self-help websites tonight, relating to stress and depression and anxiety. I have been suffering from all three lately and it's about time I sorted myself out. Things aren't going to get any better unless I make it so are they, so I need to change my thought process and start looking at the glass as half full!

I have splashed out (!) and booked us one of the cheap newspaper holidays for the end of September - just a weekend away but we know this location and park is lovely as has been highly recommended to us. That'll give OH and I something to look forward to too. I'm sure DS and OH's little one will enjoy it too

MeandO · 20 July 2016 at 9:51PM

Some small business takings mean I can top up the overpayment pot, so that now stands at £50 - halfway towards my next £100 overpayment.

I've also topped the car & house maintenance pot up by £50 so there's now £900 in that. I'd like to get it to around £1000 first, so only £100 to go. I'm pretty sure I need some new tyres and rear brake pads on the car soon, so that will deplete it somewhat.

I'll have to work at building it back up then. Thinking about it, maybe I need to get it to nearer the £1500 mark in there.

No further house move news, although a few more viewings booked for this week and I've booked an appointment for next week to discuss things with my mortgage advisor. I also need a mortgage promise statement to keep the estate agents happy if and when I make an offer on a place, so I'll get that then too.

I've been having second thoughts as to whether moving is the right thing for DS. He's just started making friends in the street now and seems much more settled - just as I'm about to move him to a new area.

Me, I'll never feel at home or particularly happy here, but then again, I don't really know where 'home' is for me anymore. Guess I'll know when I find it eh. It kept me awake most of last night - worrying and thinking and worrying and thinking some more. In the end I must've got a couple of hours sleep max, so am off to bed shortly.

MeandO · 26 July 2016 at 9:04AM

It's been a tough week, what with being messed about with the roof repairs, the car's brakes failing and ongoing stress from several areas, but am feeling surprisingly upbeat about things today, considering!

An unexpected £770 in car repairs has pretty much emptied my savings pot for car & house emergencies, so I need to concentrate on building that up again. I was paid yesterday, so have transferred £100 to it on the way back up to saving £1000 into there, possibly £1500.
A little while ago I would've had to rely on a credit card in such times, so it's such a relief to know I had the money there when it was needed.

I managed to make my next £100 mortgage overpayment too, so sent that to the mortgage today. That's £200 extra I've paid off this month so far and there's £6.22 towards the next £100 op in the savings pot.

I've paid for our cheap (newspaper) weekend away in September and have the money aside for the ferry crossing and week of fun in the IOW in a few weeks. I have also transferred the money for the next childcare bill in September and a bit of savings towards DS's new uniform, so all is well there.

It's the ex's birthday next week so DS and I are off to buy his Dad's birthday present tonight. No idea what to buy presently, am hoping inspiration hits me at some point. I'm taking DS out for tea too, won't be expensive though, but a nice little holiday treat.

Back to work, lots to do today.

MeandO · 26 July 2016 at 12:05PM

I've been looking at my budget and have shifted a bit more money around as I've decided against a planned purchase, putting the money to better use instead:

Another £100 has been added to the car & house emergency pot, so that's £200/£1500.

There's £250 in the holidays pot to cover the ferry fare and spending money for our week away. This should be ample.

The overpayment pot stands at £22.47/£100.

I've also received my mortgage promise from the bank today in preparation for a future offer on a house. It's staggeringly scary how much they'll lend me. :eek: Thank goodness I don't want to even borrow half of what they will offer me!

Downshifting to a nicer life...

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