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  • FIRST POST
    Abbafan1972
    Mobile phone at aged 9?
    • #1
    • 25th Apr 12, 6:58 AM
    Mobile phone at aged 9? 25th Apr 12 at 6:58 AM
    I wanted to ask how you all felt about a 9 year old child having a mobile phone.

    My daughter is 10 and one of her classmates who is 10 in July had a mobile phone last Christmas, not a smartphone, but a (mid range) Nokia. I heard her complaining that she wanted a new one as that one is rubbish!

    I am very friendly with the parents and I haven't said anything as to why she has a mobile at that age, because it's none of my business and up to them if they want to buy her a phone.

    Me personally I think at that age, she is way too young to have a mobile and I can't even think what use it would have. My kids, aged 8 & 10 don't go out on their own, they have a lot of their school friends on Facebook, so would use the chat facility to talk to them, rather than pay for phone credit etc.

    Fine, when they are older and start going out with friends, they would need a means to keep in touch, so I know they're safe.

    What do you all think?
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Page 7
  • raven83
    Could I ask you why you chose an iPhone as oppose to a run of the mill bog standard phone? Am just really curious...was it for the games or music or something? I wonder what the other parents also think? I think I would be pretty shocked if my child came in and said their friend had an iPhone at age 8....maybe this is something to do with the situ on the other thread you have posted on? Just thinking out loud...maybe the parents have a perception of what the child/you are like??

    Personally I view Iphones and BB's as handheld computers so they are not for children (in my own opinion I hasten to add). I wouldn't be happy to let a child sit un-supervised for hours on a PC so why would I let them either take a 'PC' out with them or sit in their room/on the couch and use them.

    I love my BB I really do but them I am a grown up (sadly!), I love I get access to my emails immediately but I can always get on the net due to hotspots and it would chill me to think that children could have the access that I do at any time.
    Originally posted by Sparklebabey
    Oh this haas become quite the norm very young children having iphones, at my childrens school some people in her class have them, and i often see kids in the play ground come out with iphones, blackberry's etc! Comes to something when an 8 year old has a better phone than you do.....
    Raven.

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  • Tina20
    First of all, someone leaves their 8yr old home alone for 20 minutes with the responsibility to 'lock up'????!!
    That's terrible parenting IMO!!!

    Second, I would let my DD have a phone when she was old enough to play in a park and walk to school herself, for safety but a very plain nokia. My best friends dad always said 'no phone till your 16' and would phone ME aged 12 to speak to his daughter. He relied on me to know where she was but wouldn't let her have a phone? Madness. He also would let her make 45 minute bus journeys in the dark because he didn't see the need to come and pick her up from my house....

    iPhones etc are crazy to give to a small child, I used to make mud pies aged 8/9 not playlists and apps! I got my first iPhone last year
    How can staring at a tiny screen for hours be good for a young growing brain and eyes?
  • jamespir
    kids under the age of thirteen shouldnt have phone's full stop
    especially not an iphone or blackberry theres no need plus they dont really have anyone to call

    as for leaving your eight year old alone in the house that is illegal even if it is for 20 minutes
    Replies to posts are always welcome, If I have made a mistake in the post, I am human, tell me nicely and it will be corrected. If your reply cannot be nice, has an underlying issue, or you believe that you are God, please post in another forum. Thank you
  • Emmarillo
    My daughter is 10 and has had a phone for over a year, and her friends have had them for a similar amount of time. The first children to get them seemed to be the ones with separated parents, but it wasn't long until they all wanted them. Of course there are a few with iphones and blackberrys but I would say that 90% have their parents old phones that had been sitting in a drawer. I don't honestly see the harm in putting £10 credit on an old phone and letting a child have it. My daughter likes playing the games, listening to music and occasionally texts her friends. I like it because I can always get hold of her, as she is allowed to play at the park across the road with her friends. I've warned her that I can't afford to top her phone up very often, and luckily she's taken notice of that, as i've only added credit twice.
  • Birdy12
    kids under the age of thirteen shouldnt have phone's full stop
    especially not an iphone or blackberry theres no need plus they dont really have anyone to call

    as for leaving your eight year old alone in the house that is illegal even if it is for 20 minutes
    Originally posted by jamespir
    My DS started secondary school last September and I considered him having a mobile phone, from that time, as an essential item. I know many consider the mobile phone to be a nusiance, personally, I think it's one of the best things invented.

    Don't have anyone to call? How about their parents for a start? Worth having a 'phone even if you've only got one number stored and you need help.

    And where did you get this 'illegal' minimum age from? There is no illegal minimum age limit to leave a child at home. Advisory minimum ages are provided instead.

    Get your facts right before you post.
    It's wouldn't have not wouldn't of, shouldn't have not shouldn't of and couldn't have not couldn't of. Geddit?
  • peachyprice
    kids under the age of thirteen shouldnt have phone's full stop
    especially not an iphone or blackberry theres no need plus they dont really have anyone to call
    Originally posted by jamespir
    What would you suggest they do in those two years between 11-13 when they have started secondary school and are expected to find their independence. Just send them out in the world with no way of communicating with their parents?

    as for leaving your eight year old alone in the house that is illegal even if it is for 20 minutes
    For goodness sake, no, it isn't.
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • anniemf2508
    My daughter has had a phone since she was 9...at that age she was out playing with her friends, so it was nice to be able to contact her or for her to contact us if she needed to.
    She now has a android phone on contract as its nice to know shes always able to contact us (unlike pay as you go) and other than one horrendous £80 bill last summer shes been really responsible with it.
  • anniemf2508
    kids under the age of thirteen shouldnt have phone's full stop
    especially not an iphone or blackberry theres no need plus they dont really have anyone to call
    Originally posted by jamespir
    kids start secondary school at 11/12 these days and alot of them take a bus or walk a substantial distance each day....
    my daughter was walking a mile and a half each way to school, having a phone with her gives a bit of peace of mind.
  • tyllwyd
    Agree with you again, but while it is the kids that are doing it, Facebook/phones are enabling them to do it. The vast majority of kids will say and do much, much more nasty and hurtful things over Fb/text than they ever would if they had to say it to someone's face. Especially when it can be anonymous. And there is a lot in place to try to teach them how to behave and deal with these new challenges - we have the community police officers in regularly doing assemblies about proper use of Facebook, we have whole PSHEE schemes based around sensible use of the Internet, etc etc.
    Originally posted by daisiegg
    Yes, there is lots of stuff in my DDs school as well. The danger I can see with her is that she's a teenager, so she thinks she knows everything about technology and adults are behind the times. Since she goes on Facebook and happily chats away with her friends, all trivial teenage stuff, if adults overplay how dangerous Facebook is, she just thinks they are idiots and shuts off to it completely.

    I completely agree that kids will say/do more hurtful things by text/internet than to someone's face - in a way, that makes me think they need to be online earlier rather than later, so that you can teach primary school kids how to behave online while they are still young enough for parents to supervise and influence, rather than waiting until they are secondary school age, when they won't put up with parents trying to get involved but they are still too young to really understand the impact of what they might be doing.

    One thing I really don't like about Facebook is the 13 year minimum age. Facebook must know perfectly well that under 13s have accounts, but they have a get-out clause if there are problems because they can just say that the younger kid shouldn't have been on there, rather than making the investment to put in controls to make a safer version for under 13s.

    Edited to say - thinking about this has reminded of an experience at university in the 80s, when someone left a note in my pigeon-hole which really upset me - it made me realise that something written down can be much worse than if we'd just spoken about the problem. Today's kids are having to learn that much earlier than I did.
    Last edited by tyllwyd; 26-04-2012 at 10:22 AM.
  • emsywoo123
    I just checked online and a 8gb 3GS iPhone is £319?
    Originally posted by 19lottie82
    See my post #76
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  • emsywoo123
    How can staring at a tiny screen for hours be good for a young growing brain and eyes?
    Originally posted by Tina20
    Yup, that's what I do.......leave her on it for hours and hours...........
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  • emsywoo123
    .maybe this is something to do with the situ on the other thread you have posted on? Just thinking out loud...maybe the parents have a perception of what the child/you are like??
    Originally posted by Sparklebabey
    care to explain?
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  • daisiegg

    My best friends dad always said 'no phone till your 16' and would phone ME aged 12 to speak to his daughter. He relied on me to know where she was but wouldn't let her have a phone? Madness. He also would let her make 45 minute bus journeys in the dark because he didn't see the need to come and pick her up from my house....
    ?
    Originally posted by Tina20
    And did anything terrible ever happen to her? I presume not, or you would have mentioned it...
  • emsywoo123
    Just to draw a line under things from my perspective, I understand that some people do not understand why I let DD have iPhone. I don't expect everyone to understand, nor am I particularly concerned that some of you have a clearly low opinion of me for allowing this.

    Everyone has the right to voice their opinions on here, even if I personally think some people have been a little aggressive in their tone.

    I equally have the right to not explain to all and sundry my parenting decisions, nor expect the particularly disgusting PM I received in my inbox. I have reported it, but as it was from a "new user" one can only assume an AE.

    The vast majority of us do the best for our children, none of us get it 100% right, but we do what we can.

    I knew I would be in the firing line for my decision, not because *I* think it is the wrong one for DD, but because I know it is not the norm. That doesn't mean I don't get upset about the hurtful things in my inbox!

    Therefore, on this occasion, I'm out
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  • daisiegg
    What would you suggest they do in those two years between 11-13 when they have started secondary school and are expected to find their independence. Just send them out in the world with no way of communicating with their parents?
    .
    Originally posted by peachyprice
    What, like generations and generations of kids have done (including yourself, I presume) up until about 10 years ago, and been fine?
  • peachyprice
    What, like generations and generations of kids have done (including yourself, I presume) up until about 10 years ago, and been fine?
    Originally posted by daisiegg

    Of course we were fine, but we had no choice did we?

    We were sent out making sure we had enough change in our purse/pocket to use the phone boxes that were on most street corners and everyone's numbers written down.

    But guess what, there's been this great technological advance since then (just as well as phone boxes are very few and far between now) that means we don't have to make sure we have change and a list of numbers, we can carry a mobile that does the same job.

    I really can't see the reasoning in deliberately sending an 11yo with very little means of communication ( there are NO phone boxes now between home and DS's school) and making them wait until they are 13. What magically happens at 13 that measn they now deserve to be able to contact their parents easily?
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • Judi
    My son had his first phone at 13. We didnt buy it him specially, he just had my old one with a new sim in and the occasional £10 phone top up. He rarely used it. Each time my husband or i upgraded our phones, he had the old one apart from last christmas when he had his own smartphone. He was 16 in the January.

    I am amazed at the amount of people he is friends with who's parents have bought their kids new phones and contracts to go with them. My son is on PAYG and it will stay that way until he can afford to pay for his own contract.

    Dad gives him £10 a week which he uses to pay for his World Of Warcraft subscription and his phone top up. Originally the £10 was supposed to cover his bus fares to and from school. I think he valued his WOW and his phone top ups more! He's been told, if he wants more money he's going to have to earn it.
  • daisiegg

    I really can't see the reasoning in deliberately sending an 11yo with very little means of communication ( there are NO phone boxes now between home and DS's school) and making them wait until they are 13. What magically happens at 13 that measn they now deserve to be able to contact their parents easily?
    Originally posted by peachyprice
    I don't know, it wasn't me that mentioned the age 13!

    For what it's worth, I have no children and when I do, I very probably will end up giving them mobile phones at what I consider to be ridiculously young ages because, as you say, there are virtually no phone boxes nowadays.

    But what I worry about is the reliance on them (that adults have too, myself included!) that means people don't consider how they'd cope in a crisis if the phone wasn't working/had run out of battery/had no signal/etc. I think some kids feel invincible because they know they have their mobile phone (as evidenced by the girls in my school who are convinced they won't make it home in one piece without their phone) and they have no idea how they'd cope without it - they haven't even thought about it, or been talked to about it by their parents. I'm sure everyone posting on here who has given their young child a mobile phone has ALSO discussed what they'd do if there was a problem and they weren't able to use their phone....but I'm also sure not EVERY parent who gives their child a phone does this. Some must feel they've done their duty keeping their child safe and nothing bad can happen just because they have a phone in their pocket. This often comes up in school particularly in PSHEE lessons when talking about different situations kids might be faced with and the first thing that ALWAYS comes up is "Well, I'd just phone [insert appropriate person here]". They can't get their heads around the question "What if you didn't have a phone?" because the answer is "But I do!" (I teach PSHEE to my Y8 form so they are 12 and 13).

    I also worry about the fact that children are being told (by their parents) that they NEED a mobile phone for 'safety' - because that's implying that the world is a terribly scary and unsafe place, so if they suddenly realised they were out and they'd forgotten their phone or it wasn't working, they'd feel alone and terrified in this horrible scary world. When in reality they'd probably be absolutely fine. Also, children will never have to think for themselves or work their way through a problem if they have the means to just phone up mummy or daddy at the drop of a hat, 24/7. I would imagine that some kids don't just end up phoning in a terrible crisis, but probably at the slightest little thing that's not quite as planned, which otherwise they would have to deal with on their own (and would be able to).

    Anyway, I want to reiterate that a) I'm not a parent (just a step-parent-to-be and a teacher) and b) I'm not trying to imply that anyone on this thread who has given their child a phone is a bad parent and hasn't done anything else to prepare them for the world and give them life skills. I'm sure you have because you all sound like sane, intelligent people. I'm just not sure that every parent who gives their child a phone does.
  • meer53
    kids under the age of thirteen shouldnt have phone's full stop
    especially not an iphone or blackberry theres no need plus they dont really have anyone to call

    as for leaving your eight year old alone in the house that is illegal even if it is for 20 minutes
    Originally posted by jamespir
    It's not illegal to leave a child aged 8 alone. There is no legal age.

    My daughter has dozens of friends and family who she calls regularly.

    What does it matter what sort of phone they have ? Whats wrong with an Iphone or Blackberry ?
  • hislan
    I'm hoping my mum will buy me an iPhone 4s!



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