When to start a family? Can we afford to?

mariagti · 18 March 2008 at 8:22PM

Hi,

Im 25 in 5 months and OH is 24, we have been together for 6 years and engaged. We both live at home and we have got to the point we dont know which way to go. We have been saving to buy a house we have £10,000 so far but with the way things are in the housing market its just not enough.For the past year we have been talking about wanting to start a family....its my cute nephews fault ever since my first nephew was born 4 years ago i have wanted to start a family. Now the second nephew has come along its made me even more broody!
You may think im a little young to start a family but i think 25 is the prefect age. Im healthy, fit and settled in a relationship.

We did want to buy our own house then settled down and have a baby, but after serious thought, how could we ever afford to buy a house, maintain the house, pay bills, run cars and have a baby.On OH's wage of just £18,000? And by the time we have saved enough i will be over 30. Not that thats old because it not. But i would like to be a mum in my mid twenties.

So we have been looking at renting as then we wont have to worry over the maintence of the house/flat.But would £18,000 be enough to survive? Would we get any tax credits?

vixarooni · 18 March 2008 at 8:31PM

Everyone always says on here that there is never a right time to have a baby where money is concerned. Yes they are expensive and you probably know already that your social life and little perks for yourself might take a bashing in the short term but it will all work out in the end.

There are benefits you can get, you will get merternity pay if you work and child benefits, i dont know of any others but there probably is! Plus when a baby is born everyone wants to help and give, like clothes and stuff so you wont have to buy 100% everything.

Good luck on trying to concieve!

mariagti · 18 March 2008 at 8:42PM

Thanks vixarooni

We are used to having no social life or perks for around 2 years now as we have been saving, so that wouldnt bother me. We're not like the normal mid twenties that like to go out at weekend and spend all there money on booze. We do everything the MSE way!

affordmylife · 18 March 2008 at 9:04PM

there is no right time as you say no one will ever afford it but personally i think it is the wrong attitude to say i want a baby will we get any benefits.

you should be able to provide for any child you bring into the world without relying on benefits. if your circumstances change once you have had a child through losing job or health that different but not to plan a child involving benefits.

sorry just my opinion.

ALIBOBSY · 18 March 2008 at 9:06PM

Well I had ds at 25 ,middle dd at 30 and last dd in 2007 at 35. I was definately alot more tired with 2nd and third babies, but not sure if thats age or just the extra kids lol. You can never afford kids and if you are waiting for that situation you will wait forever. If you both feel ready I would go for it. Have the baby in rented housing and in a couple of years when you might look to buy again you will probably be in a position to go back to work (if you want to ), and house prices will have fallen.
Good luck
ali x

whatatwit · 18 March 2008 at 9:14PM

Why don't you try renting for 6 months, in a property that would be still be suitable if you had a baby and then you'll know just how much you need to live on.
If you visit the Old Style board, there a several threads on cheap meals and meal planners to make the most out of your shopping. If you are going to stay at home, then you would have the time to cook from scratch and this can be very moneysaving.
Good luck.

pukkamum · 18 March 2008 at 9:23PM

My husband and i had our first baby when i was 25 and he was 27. You say that seems young but in my parents day that was considered old!!!!!
We lived in a rented house with my then fiancee on quite a low wage and to be honest i never really thought too much about the money side of it. I knew we would always be able to provide for the baby even with me not working as we were willing to forgo the foreign holidays, new cars, owning our own house etc We know (seven years later) live in a beautiful three bed council house i still don't work as we also have a 20 month old daughter, and we still have money for everything we need, even if we do camp in wales instead of going to spain and drive a jallopy. We are extremely happy and would not change a thing. If we had owned a house we would have struggled to have one child never mind two and i would definately have had to go back to work instead of being able to stay at home with my kids. I'm not saying this is right for everyone but it works for us and i have a lot of friends (who own lovely houses) who envy our very free and easy lifestyle.
On the benefits side (and why shouldn't you ask the question it's only what you are entitled to?) you will get child benefit of around £20 a week and will probably also get child tax credit if nopt working families also. If you both want a child go for it i can pretty much guarantee you will never regret it. HTH good luck

mariagti · 18 March 2008 at 9:54PM

affordmylife wrote: »

there is no right time as you say no one will ever afford it but personally i think it is the wrong attitude to say i want a baby will we get any benefits.

you should be able to provide for any child you bring into the world without relying on benefits. if your circumstances change once you have had a child through losing job or health that different but not to plan a child involving benefits.

sorry just my opinion.

All opinions are welcome. Its just i dont have a clue what working parents recieve if anything. I just wanted to know so we could write down a rough estimate of how things would be like just on OH's wage until i would go back to work. I get the impression you might be thinking i only want a baby to get benefits which isnt true at all.We would be renting our own place with our own money.
From what i have just read in our threads is all familys recieve tax credits working or not? So all family's have benefits. But you dont think i that should get it just because i asked about them before having the baby?

whatatwit - Yes i totally agree, we will rent for at least 6 months before even trying for a baby.If we do go ahead with renting plans then we wouldnt start trying for a baby until November.Plenty of time to see how much money gets left over etc.;)

Penelope_Penguin · 18 March 2008 at 10:02PM

affordmylife wrote: »

you should be able to provide for any child you bring into the world without relying on benefits. if your circumstances change once you have had a child through losing job or health that different but not to plan a child involving benefits.

That's possibly true, but this isn't the place to discuss it. The OP is asking a question based on the world as it is, rather than as you may like it to be. I'd far prefer employers to pay a living wage, than have 2 parents needing to rely on tax credits to keep their heads above water

mariagti, yes, on the figures you've given, you'll get child benefit, child tax credit and possibly working tax credit. If you're both working you may get help with childcare costs.

If you find a property to rent you may also get housing and council tax benefit.

CAB may be able to assist with a more detailed calculation.

Best of luck with your decision :beer:

JoJoB · 18 March 2008 at 10:05PM

affordmylife wrote: »

there is no right time as you say no one will ever afford it but personally i think it is the wrong attitude to say i want a baby will we get any benefits.

you should be able to provide for any child you bring into the world without relying on benefits. if your circumstances change once you have had a child through losing job or health that different but not to plan a child involving benefits.

sorry just my opinion.

Conversely I and many other people don't mind our taxes being spent on subsidising those people who would make great parents but find finances are putting them off. With wages so low and rents/mortgages so high I think it sad that so many hard working people still find themselves struggling and quite appropriate that the state should step in to make up the shortfall.

Bogof_Babe · 18 March 2008 at 10:18PM

You say you are engaged, but don't say when you plan to tie the knot. In my quaint old fashioned view, that should be the next thing on your list, before you start having babies.

When to start a family? Can we afford to?

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