In for the longhaul

phoenixchick · 21 February 2008 at 5:32PM

I'll admit it now, I have been a total moron. I have spent most of my life being regarded as a sensible person, but in reality chaos lurks just beneath the surface.

Over the years I have been hopeless with money: missing payments, failing to pay bills on time or at all, 'prioritising' pleasure over important payments, being talked into spending more than I know I should. This has led to a crappy credit score, being turned down for credit, letters from DCAs etc. Parents have bailed us (I include OH here, he is just as bad) out to an extent that I am hideously embarrassed about.

So, the time has come to face up to this mess and actually sort it out. I have told OH this, and he is happy to let me get on with it - part of the problem really, but he is never going to change so I will have to do it.

My first step has been to work out our level of debt - I think I have noted everything , but because my filing system is basically a huge box, and this has been going on for years, it might have to be amended. The total is... £67967.60 :eek: !!!

Most of that is being dealt with through monthly payments and is up to date, although I am painfully aware that it is like a sword of Damocles just waiting for something unexpected to happen. We have no savings so this really worries me. There is £16557.67 of what I call 'eek' debt - the stuff I know about and have been hoping will just evaporate (see what I mean about moron).

phoenixchick · 21 February 2008 at 5:41PM

Things are rather topsy turvy at the moment as I have got a new job, which will start after Easter, and we will need to move house. After that has happened I will post our SOA.

OH seems to be quite up for this, so long as it doesn't require much effort (or input) from him. So I have told him that I will take charge of all the money - he doesn't realise how serious I am yet!!

My goals are:

to pay off at least £20,000 by December
to clear all the 'eek' debt by December
to eventually clear all debts and have some savings

So what have I done so far:

I have applied for a new bank account, as I plan to chase up bank charges
I checked my DDs and realised that I have been paying twice for home insurance - so am due a refund of at least £50
I have started the sealed jar challenge
I have downgraded my mobile phone tariff (starting 4th March)
I have also signed up for quidco, pigsback and slicethepie

Phew! am exhausted!

kyh · 21 February 2008 at 5:43PM

Phoenixchick
Welcome to the board - I am sure there will be someone more experienced that me along later to help but i know the first thing they will sya is post an SOA (statement of affairs) income/outgoings debts etc and they will help you work through it.
I thought I had written the first part of your post myself it sounded so much like my DH and I!

Don't worry there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Shineyhappy · 21 February 2008 at 5:46PM

No wonder you are exhausted!

If you dont want to post your SOA now, have a think about all the areas that are normally reducable such as do you need Sky/gym/magazines/? Can you get cheaper insurances? Do you have any direct debits that you dont need than can be cancelled? Its also worth visiting the Old Style board to see if you can cut down on your food bills.

Also if you are about to move anyway, it might be an ideal time to sell any unwanted items on Ebay/amazon etc.

Best of luck and keep us all updated!

phoenixchick · 21 February 2008 at 6:01PM

Thanks for your comments.

I have been keeping a tight reign on the food spending, I can be very good at this (but when I'm working I'm easily persuaded into takeaways). I've told OH that rather than getting several takeaways a month, and sometimes several a week, we will go out for a meal once a month - this will be much cheaper than the takeaways, but will also stop us feeling too hard done by (and therefore say sod it and give up).

I'm keeping in mind how I can cut costs once we have moved, eg having sky and broadband etc together. I will also look for the cheapest utilities. Moving shouldn't be too expensive, we will use citymove who charge by the half hour and have worked out much cheaper than other firms. I will also make sure that OH doesn't get carried away with property choices - we will be renting.

One of my biggest problems is that OH needs new clothes for work - he has to wear a suit everyday. He has shirts and ties but the suits are a big problem. He is a big chap - 6'3" with a 60" chest - so our shopping options are seriously reduced. Any suggestions?

kizzykizzywizzy · 21 February 2008 at 6:38PM

Hi there, looks like you are ready to turn your life around, it must be a pain knowing it's only you who's going to do it, but better that than you wait for him to do it & he never does!!
As long as he does as he's told:p & doesn't sabotage all your hard work!
As for suits, my Sister's soon to be ex hubby is 6 7" & they used to get most of his suits at shopping outlet villages as they often have what may be classed as unusual sizes

WorkingHardDFW · 21 February 2008 at 7:28PM

Just read your diary too!

It took us about six months to ID where we'd been going wrong for years. We'd been lucky and various windfalls had hidden our real problem - spending more than we earn't but not on what I would call frivalous things.

The spending diary has been a real eye opener for us and we've only done it since 1/1. Its makes you focus on what you are spending whether its cash, or debit card. I am now aware of the price of things whereas for years I wasn't. Worth a look at.

These boards have been great as well. Reading other peoples often heartbreaking stories puts your own issues into perspective and helps keep me focused. Like you though I am very aware that it won't take much to unseat us.....

I'm not losing sleep about the issue now and the debt is reducing which is what it is all about.

How you tried the snowballing website which helps you track which debt to target first and give your a debt free date. www.whatsthecost.com

Good luck on your journey:o

poorandindenial · 21 February 2008 at 8:13PM

My biggest recommend is also to do a spending diary. After just a day or two of doing one I had identified how I could save £120 a month, by not buying coffee and a pastry on the way to work and by taking packed lunch into work instead of buying lunch. Have got loads more money now to throw at my debt AND my bum is shrinking - RESULT!!)

I couldn't work out where all my money was going and this shows you where you are splurging and also makes you really question what you are buying while you are buying it so you spend less.

I also take a set amount out a week and that has to do me (I use this for food, going out, toiletries, everything really). I take it out on a Thursday so I can have cash for the weekend, if I spend it all I just have to put up with it. I also put money into a separate account each month so that I can fund treats so that if I really want to do something I can, eg concert tickets or flights to go and see friends etc.

Do post an SOA if you want to and people will have loads of advice, if not then read through comments that have been made about other people's SOAs and then try to apply them (slightly brutally) to your own situation.

Good luck and well done for starting to take control back.

ms_london · 22 February 2008 at 6:57AM

phoenixchick wrote: »

Thanks for your comments.

I have been keeping a tight reign on the food spending, I can be very good at this (but when I'm working I'm easily persuaded into takeaways). I've told OH that rather than getting several takeaways a month, and sometimes several a week, we will go out for a meal once a month - this will be much cheaper than the takeaways, but will also stop us feeling too hard done by (and therefore say sod it and give up).

I'm keeping in mind how I can cut costs once we have moved, eg having sky and broadband etc together. I will also look for the cheapest utilities. Moving shouldn't be too expensive, we will use citymove who charge by the half hour and have worked out much cheaper than other firms. I will also make sure that OH doesn't get carried away with property choices - we will be renting.

One of my biggest problems is that OH needs new clothes for work - he has to wear a suit everyday. He has shirts and ties but the suits are a big problem. He is a big chap - 6'3" with a 60" chest - so our shopping options are seriously reduced. Any suggestions?

Hi. Welcome to MSE!

As the others have suggested, please post a SOA.

Are the debts yours or joint debts? Is your OH burying his head in his sand? Or just happy to you take the reigns? If the former, it is great you are taking control - but you should be the only one to burden the weight of the debt, it will be a struggle and you shouldnt have to deal with it on your own. Does your OH know the extent of your debt?

How did the move go? Is it into a cheaper property rent-wise? Do you need sky? I personally think this is a luxury and could be done without.

Can your OH make do with the suits he has? Or at least wait another month or so?

If you could post your SOA then we can perhaps help a bit more. xx

phoenixchick · 22 February 2008 at 1:09PM

Hi,
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. The spending diary sounds like a brilliant idea, it may confirm my suspicions as to where the money has been going.

ms-london, debts belong to us both, he is happy for me to take charge (I'm quite bossy and he is quite laid back!), I had to make it clear to him that I am not saying he is to blame - I know we both are.

The suits have waited as long as possible, the bottom (lucky he was wearing pants

) of one pair of trousers ripped beyond repair! So he is down to one suit. He needs to meet clients so it is important that he looks presentable.

Sky is a bit of a luxury, but someting that OH won't budge on - when we have moved hopefully having a bundle with broadband and phone will make overall savings.

We are moving in April, so I am budgeting for that at the moment, we haven't found a place yet but I'm looking for something that is certainly no more than we pay now. OH currently commuting on M25 for up to 5 hours a day (both ways) and paying a fortune in petrol. I have now got a new job near to his (and away from a very nasty boss :mad: - so that is a bonus), starting after the Easter hols. Until the move has taken place really I'm just happy to muddle through as best I can and then really get stuck in.

I plan to do the snowball thing later today, as well as trying to get the cheapest possible car insurance.

I'm currently chasing up any other money I'm owed, my current boss has underpaid me since Sept '07, so I have now asked my union to chase it up. My new job will mean a slight cut in pay, but it will be minimal as I won't be paying higher tax any more and there are tiny payrises coming. Also OH is more settled in his job and getting bigger amounts of commission. May also have a compensation claim coming, which can be applied to the eekiest of the eek :eek: debt.

In_Search_Of_Me · 22 February 2008 at 1:32PM

Just to say welcome and well done for all the sortig youre doing so far. An intreigued asto what is an "eek" debt!! Is it the APR that makes you eek?!! Great news on jobs too. If you need to buy clothes look online & go through sites like quicdo, pigsback etc for them to get cashback.vouchers etc. It really does make a difference and the boost financially as well as psycholigcally when a voucher pops through the door is fab! Wel worth the surveys etc that you have to do to get them! Have a look round the boards - lots and lots of ideas and ways to save money, earn money & get freebiew win comps etc (I won a free hol to Val d'isere with YSE last year va Dorset cereals comp!!)...gotta be in it to win it!

In for the longhaul

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