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Do a bit of research before you make snap judgements please!
JulesJay
Posts: 179 Forumite
Just a bit of advice to everyone before you start posting.
After the debacle of what was supposed to be a support thread for someone that had taken the decision to go bankrupt can I ask everyone - whatever board you have come from to do a little bit of reading before you give your opinion.
Check back through the posts of the people who have gone or who are thinking about declaring themselves bankrupt, and see what they were and are asking before the day, read their stories, see what emotions they were going through before the day and get a little sense of what they are going through before you decide what to post.
Please do not make snap judgements, that is what causes the problems on this board, you may think that we all have a thick skin on here, but I think some of the very ill thought out remarks from both sides shows us all how stressful the situation we find ourselves in can play havoc with your emotions!
Another thing to bear in mind is that some people seem to have the wrong idea about the Congratulations offered on this board.
This is as a way of support for being brave enough to face doing it both mentally and emotionally not as a pat on the back for going bankrupt!
Remember the stress of debt is an enormous thing, whether you have the great fortune to be able to pay it back or are in the process of bankruptcy - especially this time of year! - so if we know we can come onto Martin's boards to get a little bit of tlc and support all the better.
Remember some people have no one else to talk to except the guys on these boards about the situation they are in, so please think before you post.
Be constructive, be supportive, give advice, that is what each of these boards are for.
So play nice people if you can, and remember the old saying about 'if you can't say anything nice'.
Off to the park with my little lad now, will pop in when I get back.
Jules x
After the debacle of what was supposed to be a support thread for someone that had taken the decision to go bankrupt can I ask everyone - whatever board you have come from to do a little bit of reading before you give your opinion.
Check back through the posts of the people who have gone or who are thinking about declaring themselves bankrupt, and see what they were and are asking before the day, read their stories, see what emotions they were going through before the day and get a little sense of what they are going through before you decide what to post.
Please do not make snap judgements, that is what causes the problems on this board, you may think that we all have a thick skin on here, but I think some of the very ill thought out remarks from both sides shows us all how stressful the situation we find ourselves in can play havoc with your emotions!
Another thing to bear in mind is that some people seem to have the wrong idea about the Congratulations offered on this board.
This is as a way of support for being brave enough to face doing it both mentally and emotionally not as a pat on the back for going bankrupt!
Remember the stress of debt is an enormous thing, whether you have the great fortune to be able to pay it back or are in the process of bankruptcy - especially this time of year! - so if we know we can come onto Martin's boards to get a little bit of tlc and support all the better.
Remember some people have no one else to talk to except the guys on these boards about the situation they are in, so please think before you post.
Be constructive, be supportive, give advice, that is what each of these boards are for.
So play nice people if you can, and remember the old saying about 'if you can't say anything nice'.
Off to the park with my little lad now, will pop in when I get back.
Jules x
'What is right for one soul may not be right for another.
It may mean having to stand on your own
and do something strange in the eyes of others.
But do not be daunted,
do whatever it is because you know within it is right for you.'
'Eileen Caddy'
BSC: No: 79
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Comments
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:T :T well written Jules.The first time we said hello, was the first time we said goodbye. As the angels took your tiny hand and flew you to the sky-you forever left us breathless. RIP my beautiful granddaughter
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Quite right Jules :j
I would never have managed to cope with going BR without the advice and support of the people here and we must not allow anyone to make this SUPPORT forum a place where people who really NEED help will be afraid to come.
The silly thing is that in all the "troll" posts, (for want of a better description,) there was a lot of good sense and valid points BUT it is the way they are put across and the PLACE ... in the right place in a sensible manner there was much to debate but it really felt that the posts were intended only to stir up trouble ... they KEPT posting silly comments in the obvious manner of a troll.
What a shame!0 -
blind-as-a-bat wrote: »There lies the problem Gratton, this board is not for debate it is for help and support thats all
There are places elswhere on MSE where the rights and wrongs should be descussed and most of the Trolls know that
Last nights activaty was just designed to have a go because "they" didnt like the support the OP was getting
I know thats why I was trying to get the OP to go to bed and leave them to it .. don't feed the trolls being the idea ... these people must have such empty lives and nothing better to do.0 -
Thanks for the great post Jules. Very well said.
Can we come a consenous guys? If this situation starts up again all we post, each and every one of us is a copy of Martins declaration at the top of the board and that the place for discussion IS the discussion board and nothing else. This way we do NOT get into arguments. We do NOT feed the trolls and we can not be jumped on for anything we say about BR.
Lou sweetie if you are still around you know that is not how the majority of us feel and last night was people who didn't have a clue.BSCno.87The only stupid question is an unasked oneLoving life as a Kernow Hippy0 -
tigerfeet2006 wrote: »Thanks for the great post Jules. Very well said.
Can we come a consenous guys? If this situation starts up again all we post, each and every one of us is a copy of Martins declaration at the top of the board and that the place for discussion IS the discussion board and nothing else. This way we do NOT get into arguments. We do NOT feed the trolls and we can not be jumped on for anything we say about BR.
Lou sweetie if you are still around you know that is not how the majority of us feel and last night was people who didn't have a clue.
I'm all for that Tiger.:j
The trouble is it can be so hard not to react, but will try extra hard. Just hope they don't catch me on a PMT day:rolleyes: i'm incapable of keeping my mouth shut thenThe first time we said hello, was the first time we said goodbye. As the angels took your tiny hand and flew you to the sky-you forever left us breathless. RIP my beautiful granddaughter0 -
betterlatethannever wrote: »I'm all for that Tiger.:j
The trouble is it can be so hard not to react, but will try extra hard. Just hope they don't catch me on a PMT day:rolleyes: i'm incapable of keeping my mouth shut then
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Yeah! know that feeling and I ain't had one for 15 months.
As most of you know this happened to my wonderful husband as well and to quite a few people previously. It seems to happen every couple of months. But if we show a united front and don't bite they should go away quite quickly. We just have to make sure any newbies get a pm with what we are doing if it happens again.BSCno.87The only stupid question is an unasked oneLoving life as a Kernow Hippy0 -
blind-as-a-bat wrote: »I just hope the OP loopy_lou is ok as here storry runs deeper than most on here may know
All i will say is she faught tooth and nail to sort this any other way but BR but the creditors wher not willing to compramise leaving her no choice
I agree with tigerfeet its time we stopped playing along to all this unless its in the right place and thats not on this board
I sent her (Loupy_lou) a personal message this morning a few minutes ago - I hope she doesnt mind and that it gives her a lift.
I know it really IS hard not to respond to these idiots but I agree we MUST try
Have a hug - I have one to spare and its Christmas LOL:D0 -
Poor Lou-Lou - all she was being was honest and trying the quell the fears for any lurkers who are scared witless about going BR.
I really cannot believe that people can be so mean.DISCHARGED 12th December 2007:T
BSC Member #91
Proud to have dealt with my debts0 -
backontheup wrote: »Poor Lou-Lou - all she was being was honest and trying the quell the fears for any lurkers who are scared witless about going BR.
I really cannot believe that people can be so mean.
As I get older, (I sound ancient but I am only 31 and a few months! - OK 144 months if you must know LOL) I find I am no longer surprised at the mean mindedness of so many people ..... BUT
I am equally delighted to find there really are so many nice people around too!0 -
I think part of the problem may be the title of the thread - arguably it makes bankruptcy look easy - bound to get up a few people noses (not mine of course!)BCSC Member 70:j
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