Should my conscience bothered me.

Xbigman · 18 May 2005 at 3:17AM

Daughter dropped a bombshell today. She's leaving college friday and isn't going back next year. I duly worked out the costs involved and how much I'd want off her for her keep. The amazing thing is that after I take child benefit and working tax credits into account I actually live so cheaply I've made a £4 per month 'profit' from my daughter. OK, that doesn't take into account xmas / birthday presents or the cost of the carpet in her bedroom. etc, etc.. but I do feel a bit guilty. Should I?
Regards

X

Xbigman · 18 May 2005 at 3:20AM

Come to think of it there's the small matter of the near £30,000 I paid the CSA in the 11 years she was with her mother.

Guilt, what guilt? :silenced:
Regards

X

Debt_Free_Chick · 18 May 2005 at 6:35AM

I think you should charge her keep anyway - even if you were a millionaire! It will help to teach her about the value of money, budgetting and money-saving. Those skills will be invaluable when she leaves home.

Also, it will help to "keep her feet on the ground" and prevent her turning into a sponger!

squeaky · 18 May 2005 at 8:19AM

By all means charge keep. But if the profit margin troubles you - just reduce the rent a little.

You know that charging is a good lesson for your youngling. So just set it at a level you feel comfortable with.

spendaholic · 18 May 2005 at 8:24AM

What my mom used to do once she didn't need the money so much was still have "keep" off us, and anything she didn't need or use went into a bank account she set up. Then, when we left home/got married/needed something she had something to give us back without having to cut corners to do so. It still taught us that we have to pay for our keep

My brother's in Canada now, married to a Canadian, and my parents still put money into a bank account over here for his birthday and Christmas. Then, when he needs dosh, they can wire it over, or when he's back home, he's got his spending money.

margaret_3 · 18 May 2005 at 8:32AM

I think you are quite right XBigman. We made the mistake of never charging our son for anything, stupidly thinking that he would have to pay out soon enough. As a result it took him a long time to understand the value of money.
We made a huge mistake!
Oh if only we could start over again!!!!!!!!! [How often have we heard THAT?]
Margaret

Pooky · 18 May 2005 at 12:02PM

From watching a friend make a mistake with her daughter, I just thought I'd suggest you give your daughter a list of things her money will go towards, teenagers are very bad at remembering things like water bills, tv licence, gas and electric etc and just see their keep as going towards food. If you make it clear from the start the expenses you have going out she'll appreciate why she needs to contribute.

I know my friends daughter was shocked when she found out that you not only had to pay for the water coming in, but pay to have it taken away too....."but it's only water..how can it cost THAT much"...ohhh the innocence of youth!

Ticklemouse · 18 May 2005 at 12:20PM

I understand that Mel Gibson, who has a bit of spare dosh

, makes his kids work for their money. If they want something - clothes, entertainment etc, they got jobs like all us other mere mortals did when we were teens, so that we knew how hard it was. He says that for all his riches, he wants his kids to understand what it's like to have to wait tables or work in a store and to learn to save up. Then they'll appreciate money when they are older. Got his head screwed on, I say.

Spendless · 18 May 2005 at 12:40PM

Pooky wrote:

From watching a friend make a mistake with her daughter, I just thought I'd suggest you give your daughter a list of things her money will go towards, teenagers are very bad at remembering things like water bills, tv licence, gas and electric etc and just see their keep as going towards food. If you make it clear from the start the expenses you have going out she'll appreciate why she needs to contribute.

I know my friends daughter was shocked when she found out that you not only had to pay for the water coming in, but pay to have it taken away too....."but it's only water..how can it cost THAT much"...ohhh the innocence of youth!

The arguement I used to give my dad was that things like council tax (cos 2 other people lived there also), water rates and tv license remained the same cost even if I moved out.

Just thought I'd forewarn you of that arguement in advance -lol

Katgoddess · 18 May 2005 at 12:41PM

Charge her a reasonable amount for "rent" and put any profit into a savings account for her. Explain to her that she would have to spend much more in the real world so she'd better get used to it now.

Does a third of her wages sound reasonable?

I wouldn't tell her that the savings account was specifically for her, but point out that the money will be used to help pay for her wedding, to help pay off your mortage for your house (which she would inherit when you die) and for future grandchildren, etc. And encourage her to start saving herself.

I wish my parents did this for me, instead of charging me a small rent.

Loadsabob · 18 May 2005 at 12:50PM

Absolutely charge rent!!

I'm only 28, and I lived with my Mum after university, for a couple of years. It was great, because I saved a LOT of money compared to renting privately, but my Mum gained, too, by having surplus income from my "keep" - even more when a friend of mine moved in with us, too. We also bought our own food separately, and split the phone bills.

Personally, I would have felt terrible if my Mum hadn't charged me rent...I was 21, why should I live rent-free; she wasn't?!!

I think it has to benefit both parties. It will probably be cheaper for your daughter than renting elsewhere, but you will also have your financial load lightened by having someone to share the household costs. I think that's absolutely fair.

Didn't do me any harm - I have a great attitude to money, know the value and cost of things, and budget with no problems...your daughter will thank you if she ends up the same way!

good luck!

Should my conscience bothered me.

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