what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

weezl74 · 3 July 2009 at 9:36AM

Hi there

If you've got children or are planning on it, I'd be very interested in your views.

What lengths would people consider going to to have one parent stay at home with your child/children- even by a few extra months, ie staying off work for the full year after a baby vs going back after 9 months.

Please would you tick any options you have or would consider...

or please just post 'none of the above!' all opinions wanted!!!

(I haven't done a poll before so really hope this works!)

Thanks very much in advance for any thoughts!

please do add any other things you've considered to make it possible...

Weezl x

SugarSpun · 3 July 2009 at 9:44AM

Downshifting groceries

We're both fortunate in that we can work from home if necessary, so we'll be working out a system where we each go to the office 3 days one week/2 days the next week and the other stays home. We figure it will work in the short term, and by the time it doesn't my contract will be ending anyway.

In any case, both our jobs can be fitted mostly into naptimes - his involves long periods of waiting for replies etc, and I'm a researcher and can think while doing something else and write up the thoughts while the beast's asleep.

feelinggood_2 · 3 July 2009 at 9:46AM

Downshifting groceries

I'd do anything apart from having a lodger. I think that would be too big of a safety issue with a baby/child in the house. Other than that, I'd be willing to do anything to ensure I can stay at home with my Son.

3onitsway · 3 July 2009 at 9:53AM

Downshifting groceries

Found it!
Like Feelie - i'd do anything apart from the lodger (no space anyway!). Also not sure I could do the terry nappies - my washing mountain is big enough as it is.

Another possibility is changing my working hours - I did this with DS for a few yaers. Oh worked normal 9-5, then I worked 6-10. This didn't do much for our relationship - but oh well!

knithappens · 3 July 2009 at 9:54AM

Downshifting groceries

I am in this situation now, just started mat leave, I am using reusable nappies & wipes, breastfeeding, cutting back on groceries, even growing my own fruit and veg in the garden. Have also gotten everything for baby secong hand or given to me. No holiday his year ( actually just booked thought the mail offer for a 3 night break for other kiddos) - no going out etc, i want to spend as much time as possible withmy little one, but even doing this i can just swing 6 months.

JoeyG · 3 July 2009 at 9:55AM

I think 'growing your own' veggies should be an option... I sooner do that than downgrade to tesco value (or other equivalent)

mountainlioness · 3 July 2009 at 9:59AM

Personally, I wouldn't do anything! I'm a great believer that these are intensely personal decisions based on individual circumstances and needs. For us, we both want to work (not necessarily full time) as it's part of being, for us personally, fulfilled adults... (I always was fiercely proud of my academic mother, a great role model). It's not for anyone else to judge.

So for us, the question is how far we'd go to get flexibility or reduced hours - in which case I'd probably do all of the above bar have a lodger and extend debt. It's not realistic in either of our current jobs but I think now I wouldn't go for a position that didn't offer me considerable flexibility, and would consider lower salaries in return (whereas before those kind of benefits weren't so attractive)

weezl74 · 3 July 2009 at 10:00AM

Having a lodger

JoeyG wrote: »

I think 'growing your own' veggies should be an option... I sooner do that than downgrade to tesco value (or other equivalent)

here here!

It would only let me post 10 options (I had 17 on my list)

redmel1621 · 3 July 2009 at 10:06AM

Downshifting groceries

We pretty much do most of those things anyway...even had a lodger (a friend though) but that didn't work out too well.

By doing all of those, it means I only work 2 days a week, although I would love to drop those too...it just isn't realistic for us to do so, as dh is a student!!

Mel x

emlou2009 · 3 July 2009 at 10:06AM

Downshifting groceries

i dont want to be a SAHM

i like working and although i love my son to pieces i cant wait to go back and have a little break a couple of days a week

i'm also very independent and want to know that i can have money of my own without asking for "spends" or "permission" IYSWIM? having said that, i'd be quite happy to accept spends if OH was nice and rich :rotfl:

but anyway, if we had a dishwasher we would have abandoned it to save money. wouldnt do handwashing though as we live in a flat, wouldnt be able to get things dry enough wringing them out! we have done a few things on the list just to save money while i'm not working.

weezl74 · 3 July 2009 at 10:09AM

Having a lodger

thank you to all who've posted thus far, thanks too, to emlou and mountainlioness for expressing that you don't want to stay at home, this is very much what I wanted to hear about too, so sorry if I worded it in a way which sounded like there was a 'right answer'!

:D

what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

things I've considered to be a SAHM/D 852 votes

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