Please help - is it time??

leiela · 10 February 2009 at 6:38PM

some of you might remeber me talking about my dog millie in this thread

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1408185

As i said back then she had a very expensive opertation in november to have a tumor removed from her belly, well today i found another one.

i'm so distaught and i don't know what to do??? how do you decide enough is enough ?? when is it time to put a lovely dog to sleep??

Im in bucket fulls of tears but i just don't know what to do?? she hasn't got much of a life and i hate the way she is forced to live, i've made an appointment with the vet im leaving in about 20mins but i just don't know if i have t in me to ask him to put her to sleep ... am i a bad person for even thinking about it?

cheepskate_2 · 10 February 2009 at 7:02PM

Hi

So sorry to hear of your sad prediciment, it is always so difficult when it comes down to this.

As a caring owner sometimes it is us who have to make these decisions good or bad,

I think we generally know when our pets time is up , and if this is the case at least by putting the animal out of distress as a caring owner this is sometimes what we have to do.

Talk it over with the vet as they are in a good position to let you know.

Look at all the good times you gave her, there is no right or wrong.

JoolzS · 10 February 2009 at 7:04PM

You are in no way a bad person for considering putting Millie to sleep.

Last year our beloved cat was diagnosed with mouth cancer. She was 18 years old so we chose not to have it operated on. She lived with it for about six months and was still living fairly OK, up until the last two weeks. With hindsight I really, really regret keeping her alive for the final two weeks as, especially during the final week, she was obviously in a lot of distress and was struggling to eat.

If Millie has no real quality of life and/or is suffering then it is a kindness to have her put to sleep. I was surprised at how quick it was - the vet came to our house to do it (that's one of the reasons our cat was kept alive a little too long - we already had the vet booked but the cat went downhill very quickly a couple of days before the appointment), and once we had said goodbye, she was injected and was gone within a couple of seconds.

I still miss her, but the decision was the right one, albeit a little later than it should have been made.

Only you can know if Millie has any quality of life or if you are simply prolonging it because you don't want to say goodbye.

I wish you all the best and hope you make whichever is the right decision for both you and her.

Julie

Tulip · 10 February 2009 at 7:05PM

*hugs* to you at this difficult time.Chat with Vet as previous person has said and then take it from there.It will be a hard one to make.

Thinking of you.

Katie

UKTigerlily · 10 February 2009 at 7:06PM

leiela wrote: »

some of you might remeber me talking about my dog millie in this thread

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1408185

As i said back then she had a very expensive opertation in november to have a tumor removed from her belly, well today i found another one.

i'm so distaught and i don't know what to do??? how do you decide enough is enough ?? when is it time to put a lovely dog to sleep??

Im in bucket fulls of tears but i just don't know what to do?? she hasn't got much of a life and i hate the way she is forced to live, i've made an appointment with the vet im leaving in about 20mins but i just don't know if i have t in me to ask him to put her to sleep ... am i a bad person for even thinking about it?

I can't remember the thread for certain off hand & don't have time to look but i'm wondering if you were the one with the OH who wasn't as supportive or if i'm confused? (I can't stop the reply to look lol)

I firmly believe Dogs tell us when it's time, if she's in lots of pain, or has no life quality for example. Ask your Vet what he would do if it was his Dog, they must see Dogs all the time & get a good feel for when it's time. However it must still be your decision, he can only advise & guide you. My Dog has another tumour found today but is only five & enjoying life.

None of us can tell you either but I & others will be thinking of you & Millie & hoping if it's her time she passes peacefully with you by her side. The one thing I would say is don't beat yourself up about things, don't keep her going thinking you're killing her, but really think if it's time, I think deep down we do know when it is, I know with alot of my Pets i've just gone & told the Vet I think it's time & they've agreed, you just know i'm sure

Sorry I can't help, thinking of you x

Quinny_2 · 10 February 2009 at 7:55PM

What a sad post.

I'm sure that the decision that you come to,whatever it maybe,will be the right one.

If you feel that she is suffering,then now may be the time to let go,but you will always have the memories of your time together.

Thinking of you both.

Ken.x.

Errata · 10 February 2009 at 7:57PM

So sorry, it's very hard isn't it. My dog had what yours has and I just kept her with me until the morning she and I looked at each other and seemed to decide together that the day had arrived when she'd had enough of living. My lovely vet came out to my house and put her to sleep whilst she was curled up on my lap.

lowis · 10 February 2009 at 8:35PM

i'm so sorry to hear you and your beloved millie are going through this. if it is her time don't feel bad for making the decision, it is the kindest and bravest thing you will ever do for her. i know that doesn't make it easier right now, and you are going to miss her so much, just let tears flow, it is how we heal...those tears turn to smiles one day, i promise. sending you and millie positive and healing thoughts x

leiela · 10 February 2009 at 8:40PM

Well today ended up bieng a double vet day, today i was due to take my cat in anyway for a checkup to see if she'd gained weight since he saw her 2 weeks ago and the good new's is that she's up 3oz about 10% of the total weight the vet was really pleased as he said it was like us gaining a stone in two weeks.

the vet was really lovely and let me squeeze millie in too... he was lovely and didn't judge me when i asked him what he thought i should do, i didn't need to say anything but i guessed he knew what i was really asking.

He weighed her and she's lost 20oz since she was operated on in november (i knew she's lost alittle weight, but i guess i was in denial) he looked at the tumour and he just said that he didnt think it would be right to operate for a second time and that maybe it was time to think about letting her go.

It made me feel so much better that he was the one to say it, i hated the thought of asking for him to put her to sleep. I asked him he he thought it was for the best and he said that the first tumour was obviously cancerous that had spread and that althought he could start chemo he was very expensive and he didn't think it was what would be best for millie.

I asked if he ment we should but her to sleep and he said he thought it would be the kindest thing, it was such a relief i can't begin to discribe it, he was the one that suggested it and i didn't have to feel guilty about it or feel like i'd killed her, i dreaded him thinking i was a terrible person for suggesting it.

I sort of nodded numbly and he added that althought he did think that putting her to sleep would be the best option he didn't think it was her time just yet, he suggested i took her home and enjoyed our final weeks together.

He said she seem's happy right now, she's underwieght but lively enough and that when the time came i would know and i just had to bring her in and we'd do it together.

I cried, and asked if she was in pain because i didn't want to prolong it if she was, and he smiled and said she didn't seem to be and that she probabally had at least 3-4 week before the tumour and illness made her uncomfortable.

so for now im taken my dog home she's sitting waggy tail in front of the tv having had a second dinner, i know i have only about a month left with her but im determind it's gonig to be the happiest month of her life.

kazwookie · 10 February 2009 at 8:43PM

Get your camera out and start happy memories for you.

Glad you seem happier now you have had a chat to the vet, you will know when the time is right.

Best wishes

lowis · 10 February 2009 at 9:07PM

i am sorry to hear the confirmation of your fears, but it is so precious that your vet feels you have a few more weeks with her...enjoy them, take loads of pics and movies, love her and spoil her x

Please help - is it time??

Comments

Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

🚀 Getting Started

Categories

Is this how you want to be seen?

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free