Abuse/Domestic violence.

Charlie1986 · 5 February 2006 at 10:58PM

Hi,
I need some advice fairly quickly on a situation that i feel has now got out of control. I live at home with my mum and brother and for about a year or so now my brother has been physically hurting me. Whether it be with using violence or verbal abuse. It has now gotten to a point where i no longer want to take this sort of treatment and basically want something done about him. My mum knows the situation and has done nothing about it other than say it is my fault as i must have provoked him. Sometimes yes we will be arguing but i am never violent towards him at all. This has started to affect my health and my self confidence has got really low. I am not in the position to move out yet as i am only 19 and i have a debt of around £1500 to pay off first. Does anyone know of any places i can go to. I don't know if i can report him as often there is no evidence to prove this has happened. He is younger than me (16) and i feel as though i am going to get laughed at which is basically what my mum has done. Sorry to go on.

Johnhowell · 5 February 2006 at 11:08PM

Call the Police next time you are physically hurst by your brother. You are both of age so the Police can help.

John

Ted_Hutchinson · 5 February 2006 at 11:15PM

I would advice you to contact your local Women's Aid organisation who provide advice and shelter to woman who are being abused by men. These days, it is accepted that abuse can be emotional and financial as well as physical and abusers are not just husbands but can be family members , colleagues etc.
Womens Aid website with details of local branches. Many Women's Aid organisations have outreach workers who will meet women in the community. They will provide legal and financial advice, take you seriously and encourage you to make your own choices about how to deal with the situation. For women who need it, they provide safe accomodation.

Good luck
Edit from other posts I assumed you were female but I see they may be right so you may be interested in [url=http://www.bullyonline.org/related/family.htm]
Family bullying[/url]

Fran · 5 February 2006 at 11:21PM

You could contact Women's Aid and/or Refuge.org.

mancitychick · 5 February 2006 at 11:37PM

Charlie1986 it is not clear from your post whether you are male or female but either way you really have to involve the police next time. I know this iwll not be easy but in th elong run it will be the best thing you do, not only for yourself but your brother to. Also I know this does not excuse your brother behavior but is there any family problems even from the past, that could becausing his anger towards you - maybe there is something that can be resolved to help you all live in harmony without you losing your home.

homersimpson_3 · 5 February 2006 at 11:44PM

as suggested above contact women's aid and/or refuge.org. don't be afraid of contacting these organisations - they won't laugh at you and outreach workers will meet you at the place that feels most comfortable to you e.g. a cafe, in a shopping centre etc. sometimes emotional/financial abuse can do more damage than actual physical violence. it's very important to remember it's not your fault-the perpertrator (the one commiting the abuse) is to blame and you've already taken the first step. for the moment try and keep out of your brother's way and walk away from any arguments. are you working? is there a friend or perharps a sympathetic relative you could stay with? if at college could they help? student counsellors are usually very good. also you don't have to apologise for the length of your message- some messages because of their nature need to be longer than others. write as much as you want. sometimes just typing or writing things down helps. women's aid can also provide legal advice.

bobsa1 · 6 February 2006 at 12:05AM

You could get in touch with your local council. They will offer advice about emergency accom. if you need it and will be able to sign post you to other organisations. Do you have a connexions service near you? There workers offer advice and support to young people on all kinds of issues.

whitty999 · 6 February 2006 at 12:11AM

Hope you get the help needed,Have you any other relatives that you could stay with?

wilf55 · 6 February 2006 at 12:45AM

the police have domestic violence liason officers who you could speak to ...they will let you know of the courses of action you can take and will also put you in touch with womens aid etc etc

at least yo will be armed with the information

DONT PUT UP WITH IT!!

good luck

tigs78 · 6 February 2006 at 12:46AM

Charlie1986

Please go to the Police, you won't be laughed at. Domestic Violence is treated as a priority - you don't have to wait until your brother becomes violent again before you report this. Before you go, try and get it clear in your head when these attacks occured and what injuries (if any) you had. Remember, you do not have to have had visible injuries to have been assaulted.

Perhaps being arrested and interviewed (which he WILL be) will be enough to shock your brother into realising that he cannot do this to you and he will also realise that the Police take domestic violence very seriously.

If you go into your local police station you can ask to speak to somebody on the Domestic Violence unit, all police forces will have one. Even if you do not want to support formal proceedings at this time they can put you in touch with support agencies and it can be noted that you have been suffering from domestic violence so if any future attacks occur they can be linked.

Please. please go. Don't allow him to make you suffer any longer.

Savvy_Sue · 7 February 2006 at 1:04AM

Also there are some places where you can get supported accommodation if you're under 25.

The ones I know about are called Foyers but there may be links from there to services in other area, or you could phone and ask if they know of anything in your area.

Abuse/Domestic violence.

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